When I think about my horrible past, the abuse by my parents and my horrendous future I get so sick. The desire to put an end to this is strong. All my failures in the past hurt so god damn much. At this point it is so unlikely that anything will work. I will further try to get better but my problems are not really solvable. I am such a loser the last girl I had a crush on denied me because I went paranoid. This always happens when I meet a girl. I am so ashamed about it. From work I get either manic or severly depressed. I am just waiting for another psychosis and then I want to ctb. This agony is so useless. I wish would have never been born. Even without the abuse the probability to have a shitty life with my genes is too high.
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The past really love haunting us.
As for the girl which denied you, well, sh*t happens. Hope you can experience love again some day.
I'm really sorry about your anger but I feel just like you from time to time, especially when my bipolar disorder is in its DOWNS MODE lol.
Hugs and love,
Matt
As for the girl which denied you, well, sh*t happens. Hope you can experience love again some day.
I'm really sorry about your anger but I feel just like you from time to time, especially when my bipolar disorder is in its DOWNS MODE lol.
Hugs and love,
Matt
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 42,368
You have every right to feel angry. This life really is cruel to us and so many bad things can happen to us that is out of our control. There is often nothing we can do to make us feel better, non existence is the ideal state in my opinion, free from the pain of this life.
