Story How truly bad is my situation? Am I overreacting?

[lohre2000s]

A few months ago my mother died.
She was my best friend and until the end of my life will probably the only true "love" I ever felt.
I don't believe I'll manage to be happy again, not truly happy at least...

After she died, she left me her house and everything belonging to her in her will. I have several sisters, but they are, like me, not registered legally in any way so we are not "officially" her sons and daughters. She avoided registering us because she believed these documents are useless and bring more trouble than good. I agree with her.

Throughout my whole life I have had one dream: To manage it as an artist. I studied, went through courses, even worked on a short animation (). Still, none of that really matters for I am still invisible. I have nothing to show for it. I want to keep chasing this dream and I was going to live on passive income from the value of my mother's house until I make it as an artist.

This last week I received a notice that my house won't be sold for my sister got a lawyer and now want to trial me so she can prove she deserves part of my mom's house. Not only will I not have the house money for a long time... I will have to publicly prove a judge that I loved my mother and talk about my whole childhood just so my sister can leave me alone. I don't want to do that. This is way too painful. I never hated any of my sisters and I was willing to help her after I get the money... I can't bear the idea of having to remember my whole childhood and moments with my mother for something as... plain, as money. If my sister's goal was to torture she managed it with elegance. I will have to get a normal job now (something I have never done, shamefully) and this scares me.

Now, please, I do see how unbearably childish I will sound at this moment and this post is an honest asking for advice: Is my life over if I ever need to get a normal job? Is it still doable? I am oh so terrified of the normal life of working and living for the weekends... Should I be this scared? My fear is that I will not be able to work on whatever it is that I truly care about.

Once again - this is terrifyingly childish I now.

Thanks in advance.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

I'm very sorry for your loss, and about your sister's actions. It's a lot, I know. However, no matter how good an artist is, that doesn't automatically mean they'll "make it" as an artist (this goes for all artists btw, musicians, actors, writers). Even if they do, aspiring artists of every kind need to be able to support themselves (just like everyone else in the world without unlimited wealth). I know that it doesn't seem like it now, but working will ultimately be a good thing, and no, this is not worth dying over. The first thing that you should do is get yourself into therapy. To deal with your grief, and also to address your feelings and fears about employment. Next, you should meet with a career counselor to talk about your options. They may have ideas you've never thought of before. As an artist, maybe you'd like gig work so you can set your own hours and work on your art the rest of the time. Or maybe you'd like a creative job, doing makeup or hair is the first thing that comes to mind, but I'm not sure what beauty school costs these days. There must be artistic programs for kids that you could teach. What about a job in an art museum or gallery? You might actually enjoy some of these jobs and meet interesting, creative people there, btw. Maybe you'd consider setting a long term goal too, maybe being an actual art teacher, art professor, or art therapist would interest you. It's great to pursue your dream, but it's wise to have a backup plan, and it's necessary to be able to support yourself either way. I wish you all the luck in the world.

 

[lohre2000s]

I'm very sorry for your loss, and about your sister's actions. It's a lot, I know. However, no matter how good an artist is, that doesn't automatically mean they'll "make it" as an artist (this goes for all artists btw, musicians, actors, writers). Even if they do, aspiring artists of every kind need to be able to support themselves (just like everyone else in the world without unlimited wealth). I know that it doesn't seem like it now, but working will ultimately be a good thing, and no, this is not worth dying over. The first thing that you should do is get yourself into therapy. To deal with your grief, and also to address your feelings and fears about employment. Next, you should meet with a career counselor to talk about your options. They may have ideas you've never thought of before. As an artist, maybe you'd like gig work so you can set your own hours and work on your art the rest of the time. Or maybe you'd like a creative job, doing makeup or hair is the first thing that comes to mind, but I'm not sure what beauty school costs these days. There must be artistic programs for kids that you could teach. What about a job in an art museum or gallery? You might actually enjoy some of these jobs and meet interesting, creative people there, btw. Maybe you'd consider setting a long term goal too, maybe being an actual art teacher, art professor, or art therapist would interest you. It's great to pursue your dream, but it's wise to have a backup plan, and it's necessary to be able to support yourself either way. I wish you all the luck in the world.

Thank your for the reply and the kindness.
I have never thought about meeting with a career counselor... this sounds interesting... I think it'd solve so many issues for me.

I don't have much else to say besides thank you for taking your time and writing this. I agree with everything you said basically haha. Thanks.