lohre2000s
Loser/Coward
- May 31, 2026
- 38
A few months ago my mother died.
She was my best friend and until the end of my life will probably the only true "love" I ever felt.
I don't believe I'll manage to be happy again, not truly happy at least...
After she died, she left me her house and everything belonging to her in her will. I have several sisters, but they are, like me, not registered legally in any way so we are not "officially" her sons and daughters. She avoided registering us because she believed these documents are useless and bring more trouble than good. I agree with her.
Throughout my whole life I have had one dream: To manage it as an artist. I studied, went through courses, even worked on a short animation (). Still, none of that really matters for I am still invisible. I have nothing to show for it. I want to keep chasing this dream and I was going to live on passive income from the value of my mother's house until I make it as an artist.
This last week I received a notice that my house won't be sold for my sister got a lawyer and now want to trial me so she can prove she deserves part of my mom's house. Not only will I not have the house money for a long time... I will have to publicly prove a judge that I loved my mother and talk about my whole childhood just so my sister can leave me alone. I don't want to do that. This is way too painful. I never hated any of my sisters and I was willing to help her after I get the money... I can't bear the idea of having to remember my whole childhood and moments with my mother for something as... plain, as money. If my sister's goal was to torture she managed it with elegance. I will have to get a normal job now (something I have never done, shamefully) and this scares me.
Now, please, I do see how unbearably childish I will sound at this moment and this post is an honest asking for advice: Is my life over if I ever need to get a normal job? Is it still doable? I am oh so terrified of the normal life of working and living for the weekends... Should I be this scared? My fear is that I will not be able to work on whatever it is that I truly care about.
Once again - this is terrifyingly childish I now.
Thanks in advance.
She was my best friend and until the end of my life will probably the only true "love" I ever felt.
I don't believe I'll manage to be happy again, not truly happy at least...
After she died, she left me her house and everything belonging to her in her will. I have several sisters, but they are, like me, not registered legally in any way so we are not "officially" her sons and daughters. She avoided registering us because she believed these documents are useless and bring more trouble than good. I agree with her.
Throughout my whole life I have had one dream: To manage it as an artist. I studied, went through courses, even worked on a short animation (). Still, none of that really matters for I am still invisible. I have nothing to show for it. I want to keep chasing this dream and I was going to live on passive income from the value of my mother's house until I make it as an artist.
This last week I received a notice that my house won't be sold for my sister got a lawyer and now want to trial me so she can prove she deserves part of my mom's house. Not only will I not have the house money for a long time... I will have to publicly prove a judge that I loved my mother and talk about my whole childhood just so my sister can leave me alone. I don't want to do that. This is way too painful. I never hated any of my sisters and I was willing to help her after I get the money... I can't bear the idea of having to remember my whole childhood and moments with my mother for something as... plain, as money. If my sister's goal was to torture she managed it with elegance. I will have to get a normal job now (something I have never done, shamefully) and this scares me.
Now, please, I do see how unbearably childish I will sound at this moment and this post is an honest asking for advice: Is my life over if I ever need to get a normal job? Is it still doable? I am oh so terrified of the normal life of working and living for the weekends... Should I be this scared? My fear is that I will not be able to work on whatever it is that I truly care about.
Once again - this is terrifyingly childish I now.
Thanks in advance.
