How to pass 1 week until my SN arrives

[peacetime]

How do you ladies and gentlemen cope with depression? I just feel horrible and like I want to die right now, and have had it particularly bad for two to five days again, though I'm always fairly depressed. It's my regular state. The only excitement I have is when I check my email and see the messages saying the SN has been shipped and is in transit.

I'm just going more mad than I already am, waiting for my SN. Ordered from two sources and should be arriving next week. One is from outside of EU so it might get stuck in customs, I don't know.
I've made threads here where I juggle between maybe living and maybe dying. I'm really solid on a peaceful SN exit now though.

I can't function. I've been lying to myself, saying I don't have some physical pain or disability or illness that would make me need a quick exit. The truth is I am so mentally ill and depressed and beyond recovery that yes, I am basically someone with a terminal illness. I've tried to fix myself my whole life but nothing ever worked; I never got a diagnosis on whether or not I'm autistic which kind of will be a question mark I guess, but it won't matter soon enough.

 

[almostoutofhere]

I just watch tv shows and smoke cigarettes while waiting on my sn to come in. It really makes the time go by faster. Thats everything my life consists of right now.

 

[peacetime]

I just watch tv shows and smoke cigarettes while waiting on my sn to come in. It really makes the time go by faster. Thats everything my life consists of right now.

Can you recommend some tv shows. I don't smoke, kind of wish I did I guess. Kind of happy to hear someone is in a similar predicament though.
It just feels horrible to get through the weekend, since the post won't be moving.

 

[Fulminare]

I was about to post about the same exact thing! I've just been cleaning up a whole bunch and made a list of movies I want to watch before I ctb. But it's starting to get to me. There must be something else one can do.

The only thing that helps me cope right now is the thought that I'll soon hold the SN in my own hands. Stop obsessing about the delivery date and go out on walks. Maybe visit places from your childhood, if you have enough energy left. I'll probably say goodbye to some places too. But I'm sure other people might have better ideas.

 

[Monkeyman]

This is something I struggle with too. Sometimes I try watching TV shows to pass time but even then I get a little frustrated because I have a hard time keeping focused (ADHD). Sometimes I just go to sleep, take naps. Lately I've been turning to some old video games too. Going out with friends helps me a lot but I don't know what it's like for you in that front (plus lately that's been making me feel a bit guilty for spending time with them while still thinking about CTB).

 

[almostoutofhere]

Can you recommend some tv shows. I don't smoke, kind of wish I did I guess. Kind of happy to hear someone is in a similar predicament though.
It just feels horrible to get through the weekend, since the post won't be moving.

I'm watching Better caul Saul and shameless currently. Both kill time really good.

Most likely gonna go after next weekend, have to wait for my sn and drugs to get here

 

[Zegers]

I understand you, feeling suffocated by anxiety, being dead in life, lorazepam i guess helps.

 

[FuneralCry]

At least you have the SN coming soon though so you aren't trapped here with no way to escape. I would be incredibly relieved if I knew I was leaving this world so soon. Time will eventually pass no matter what, and anyway if we don't ctb then we simply have no choice but to continue existing.

 

[lionetta12]

How do you ladies and gentlemen cope with depression? I just feel horrible and like I want to die right now, and have had it particularly bad for two to five days again, though I'm always fairly depressed. It's my regular state. The only excitement I have is when I check my email and see the messages saying the SN has been shipped and is in transit.

I'm just going more mad than I already am, waiting for my SN. Ordered from two sources and should be arriving next week. One is from outside of EU so it might get stuck in customs, I don't know.
I've made threads here where I juggle between maybe living and maybe dying. I'm really solid on a peaceful SN exit now though.

I can't function. I've been lying to myself, saying I don't have some physical pain or disability or illness that would make me need a quick exit. The truth is I am so mentally ill and depressed and beyond recovery that yes, I am basically someone with a terminal illness. I've tried to fix myself my whole life but nothing ever worked; I never got a diagnosis on whether or not I'm autistic which kind of will be a question mark I guess, but it won't matter soon enough.

Get drunk

 

[Forever Sleep]

Really don't have many new suggestions than have already been put forward I'm afraid. Are there things you still enjoy?

Depends how well you and how wealthy you are really. I used to walk a lot to help with anxiety. Video games were always good for losing myself in. Honestly, if I knew when my time was (and had the money)- I would be taking mini trips to say goodbye to places but I'm lucky in that I do actually still enjoy things. (Just not enough!) Also- box sets or films are good to lose yourself in. Maybe if you throw out a few genres you like the most, people will be able to give you suggestions.

 

[Unending]

If I was in your situation, I'd be doing everything I can to utilize distraction. For example, browsing SaSu on one tab with all of your favorite music on rotation in another open tab. Maybe a free trial of a streaming service could do you good for now as well (and before I forget to mention, Tubi is completely free and doesn't have ads if you download ad block plus before using it).

Anyway, I know that different people are distracted by different things but these are kind of my go to things (along with video games and nicotine).
I probably don't have any amazing answers but find that having auditory and visual distractions at the same time makes it way easier to shut off your thoughts. That's why I never click onto an internet article without music playing beforehand.

 

[peacetime]

At least you have the SN coming soon though so you aren't trapped here with no way to escape. I would be incredibly relieved if I knew I was leaving this world so soon. Time will eventually pass no matter what, and anyway if we don't ctb then we simply have no choice but to continue existing.

You aren't trapped either

 

[Zulu]

Binge Netflix or play through a bunch of online games. Maybe engross yourself into a good book. Distractions can be a relief from existential dread while you wait.

 

[FuneralCry]

You aren't trapped either

Suicide isn't so straightforward for everyone by the way. Everyone is in different circumstances after all and there are loads of posts on the forum about people who struggle to die. I certainly feel trapped here at the moment but anyway I'm pleased for you that you soon won't have to suffer anymore. Good luck.