How to make peace with suicide

[SpaxeZ]

My life is not worth living but I still feel like I'll lose on life if I commit suicide. I'm suicidal 24/7. It's due to a male issue dysfunction and makes my life hell and super lonely. Many things trigger my suicidal emotions like going outside and seeing couples. I keep reviewing my life and every decision I ever made. I'm 25 and feel like there is more I can do. Like I did lots of travelling and there are still places I'd like to visit before death. Even though my suicidality and depression made it hard to enjoy much still suicide still doesn't feel right but then again I'm mentally and emotionally suffering. I blame myself so much. Could have done better. Not all of it was my fault though. I have constant nightmares waking up and can't believe this has happened to me. My life's a nightmare.
Despite all of this I still find it hard to commit. Not knowing what lies after. Total nothingness seems good as I won't even realise I'm dead it's just absence of experiencing. It can be scary as I'll lose on life but it's better to be dead than going through what I'm going right now. Some even talk about NDEs and we might continue experiencing in another realm. Those can be hallucinations. Either way the reason for all this crap on my mind is not having access to a reliable method. Have I had that I'd been gone long ago.

 

[Gonnerr]

I made peace with that decision, its hard to realize but in my case , that's the only solution.

Im 43 , alone , in a decaying body , why live until 50 or more , just because modern medicine made further suffering possible with lower and lower quality of life.

I didn't choose to be born so i can decide to ctb before im 50 and that's my decision.

Dying by my own hand is better than years and years of pain in a decaying body, this is how you make peace with it.

10 or 30 more years won't make a difference in the billions of years the universe is old.

 

[Remanant]

This thread is really helpful: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/ways-of-making-peace-with-dying.5212/
Check it out if you haven't already. I hope you find the peace you're searching for.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case I'm not only just at peace with the thought of ceasing to exist, rather it's all I see as desirable and it's all that comforts me. I believe death to be nothing more than an dreamless, eternal sleep where all is finally forgotten about, I envy those who no longer exist as they have no need for anything, they have no problems and are incapable of suffering as they are no longer burdened with this existence.
For me existence itself as the problem, I'd always prefer to not exist than to decay and deteriorate from age in an existence that is very futile and causes nothing but suffering anyway. But it sounds really dreadful what you are going through and it's cruel how people have to suffer so much in this existence, I hope that you eventually find the peace you search for.