How old were you when you had your first suicidal thoughts?

[Dee38]

Around age 16, if my memory serves me right.

 

[Isittimetogonola]

8th grade. 13-14 yo. Just knew I wanted to punish the people around me for not accepting me. It took on a life of it's own. I have never been closer than I am now.

 

[GrizzlyGrapefruit]

What's significant about January?

Doctors appointment. Chronic illness is the reason why I want to ctb, and it seems like no doctors are able to help me, and they aren't willing to take the time to dig deeper. So I figured I'd try just one last time by researching who the best doctor in my area would be to give me the best odds. We shall see though.

 

[passenger27]

12 I think.

 

[not_ready]

I was 11/12 i wanted to hang myself in the closet

 

[xxsuicidegirlxx]

i was about 12. same time as my eating disorder developed and i started self harming

 

[die2live]

17

 

[AnnonyBox]

Some time in middle school, I've thought about it almost every day since then.

 

[mediocre]

12. First year of high school changed everything.

 

[Flume]

15, bullied at school for 3 years and my mom had recently become a literal whore.

 

[Anathema]

While I wasn't actively suicidal until about 19-20 years old, I always liked the idea of dying by suicide when the time was right.

 

[Final Escape]

I'm not sure but by my 20's I was definitely having some desire to kill myself. I knew I was fucked. I did every possible thing u could do to screw your future self over as a young woman.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Serious thoughts: 24. I am still 24 but honestly I had it rough the last few years; my friends kept me from drowning I guess and material security. Now that I need to function as an adult everything falls apart, old problems got triggered (BPD like, not diagnosed). I deluded myself the last five years and told myself it was just depression but the truth is, I feel like I felt most of my childhood, it's just that I forgot in the few years where I coped reasonably well, when my environment was stable.

8. I stepped into traffic because I hated people and didn't want to be around anyone. I guess that counts.
My first od was at 13, 6 months after my older brother ctb.

Damn I'm sorry this is horrible.

 

[Dawgmom]

I was around 8 when I would just lay in bed at night wishing I would die. My first attempt was 8 years later.

 

[astro]

I was 18. Still am

 

[hopelessandbroken]

14 years old, i think

 

[xXSarac3nSlay3rXx]

I had my first suicidal thoughts at 15. After it passed, I thought it was just a stage, but clearly it's here to stay.

 

[Carina]

Probably 15 +/- 1 year

Ironically Dr sent me to psych place because I didn't sleep at night, they said I was a sex addict who sold myself for drugs, and was suicidal (I was a virgin, no drugs, and wasn't suicidal at the time), parents gave me the drugs... I lost trust in them... about 3 months later I was suicidal. A misdiagnosis started me being suicidal technically.

My best friend (still mine today) was there when I had the pills (from the psychologists), so I realized I was older than I had first thought! I thought I was like 11 originally.

 

[Farmmaa]

17 - Took a bunch of unknown prescription pills. Friend found me and took me to the hospital.
It was your basic - my first 'true love' broke my heart and I can't live without him bullshit.

Lived a pretty good life overall after that until physical injury, chronic pain and depression took hold about 9 years ago.
Have thought about it ever since, very seriously for the past 5 years.
Had to abandon it when my brother and niece were killed 2 years ago next month.... my family had all they could handle already.

 

[wraith2020]

I think I was around 28 years old when I started obsessing over it and it became a serious option for me. I'm fairly certain in the past when I was younger I would have those fleeting fast impulse type of thoughts that told me to kill myself, not sure if that's what you are looking for though in terms of suicidal thoughts. The strong inclinations got really bad around 29-30. I think I passed my threshold around 31-32. I'm surprised I'm still here tbh. I've been taking drugs though to mask the pain, I guess its a slow prolonged version of suicide.

 

[puppy9]

It's weird for me because I had my first suicidal thoughts when after, I visited a psychiatrist; 2 years ago and still going strong.

 

[Kifa]

When i was 10 I tried to ctb with a thick necklace cuz i had no idea what i was doing

 

[Last Caress]

Somewhere around 11..

 

[Flume]

I was 11/12. Not one goddamn year without them since.

Feels good to find out I'm not alone

 

[Merith]

Definitely around 15, in eighth grade, which was my first attempt as well.

 

[Moose]

First time was 18, still fighting my demons, pretty sure theyre winning. Cant wait till everyones gone in the next few days so i can finish it

 

[FullyUnplugged]

13 I think. maybe younger. I remember saying I wanted to do it to friends and being laughed at. I think I started having my ptsd at around 17 when I relized what was done to me

 

[Elekrel]

I remember holding a knife to myself at age seven. I want to commit suicide and that's the youngest that I can remember. I been suicidal and depressed since I was younger, didnt get it diagnosed until age 13.

 

[CarefulWithThatAxe]

14

 

[voyager]

16, and never really looked back.