How old were you when you had your first suicidal thoughts?

[BurnTheHeartAndFeast]

14, I felt that I had no purpose to live and that my parents would never accept that I am bisexual. Its easier to disappear that to disappoint.

 

[lucines]

12. I still have my suicide note from back then, not going through with it is one of my greatest regrets as the reality of my life as it is now is much worse than the worst case scenario I envisioned for myself at that age.

 

[FracturedSeraphim]

8. I was almost 13 before my first suicide attempt. I'm 22 now. Don't plan to hit 23

 

[ARW3N]

I had nightmares when I was a kid, can't remember my age, of being magnetically pulled under the wheels of a passing car. Also had nightmares getting hanged in a medieval town and everything going black. I had this overwhelming urge once to lean forward when I was on the edge of a tall building. Had to pull myself back. Remember crossing the road whilst eating a kebab. Wasn't aware I was acting suicidally until a couple screamed at me "Don't do it!" I then noticed a car whizzed past which missed hitting me by inches.

 

[Lotus]

23. I am now 24. I'm sad to read so many who has been suicidal for decades, and I'm also kind of surprised and scared that I've been so determined of CTB over such a short period of time. But that's basically me in a nutshell; when I really want something, I just know it.

 

[cosmicpixiedust]

The first time I had a suicidal thought was when I was 8 after being raped repeatedly by my older cousin. The thoughts were pretty consistent all year which ultimately led to my first attempt at 9.

 

[Rena rossy]

I am not sure I would say around 9 or 10. I didn't have any infomation on how to kill myself at that moment but I used to experiment with different pills I remembered used to make me feel sleepy (naproxen and things like that, silly me) I used to take 8 or 9 sometimes different, sometimes the same (doctors used to prescribe me pills whenever I needed to take any medication because I was overweight at that age so I was used to swallowing them)

 

[brainpain2]

surprisingly no matter how much life sucks and I had severe anxiety and insomnia I never wanted to CTB until I developed a chronic pain disorder. It ruined everything good in my life and triggered bipolar disorder

The first time I had a suicidal thought was when I was 8 after being raped repeatedly by my older cousin. The thoughts were pretty consistent all year which ultimately led to my first attempt at 9.

That shockingly young. I am so sorry that happened to you. I hope your cousin gets theirs one day if they haven't yet.

 

[Midnight-rain]

I had to have been ten years old. As a child I was extremely shy and suffered from social anxiety. I was already feeling low as it was, but the one classmate I considered my friend one day told me I was annoying and that we were never actually friends. That really messed me up and made my trust issues worse. This occurrence lead me to the first time I thought, "I want to die."

 

[BridgeJumper]

13, after I got abused. Couldnt tell anyone out of fear, and didnt know shit about suicide either so I tried to strangle myself with my bare hands