randomz
Specialist
- Nov 4, 2019
- 395
On a scale of 1 to 10, about 25-ish, some days it's 24 and some days it's 26, occasionally going to 29.
mattwitt
# 978
- Jun 28, 2018
- 2,307
Sometimes when I'm somewhere placing an order or going through a checkout lane the person working the register will say to me "Hi... How are you today" with a big fat fucking fake smile and I'll reply back in a rather calm tone of voice and say "I hate my life, it sucks, and I wish I was dead" Usually they kind of freeze for a moment and open their eyes all the way for a split second and reply back with a "Sorry to hear that" or just pretend I didn't just say that at all while adjusting themselves. So I hate my life so much I can't stop thinking it and telling people I have never met before it.
MiserableBastard1995
Experienced
- Mar 17, 2018
- 291
Probably more than I realise. But then a lot of that is also because I hate the human condition, and our behavior as a species in general.
Dr Iron Arc
Into the Unknown
- Feb 10, 2020
- 21,069
I hate myself more than I hate or love anything else in the world. To be fair, I kind of deserve it though. I haven't really done too many horrible things I'm just really stupid, ugly, and lazy. The worst thing about me though is my personality I'm aware I am filled with hate for so many different types of people and things. I never do anything about it but the beliefs I have can't be changed no matter how aware I am of how terrible they are because there's no point in trying to change someone this far gone. If people only knew how I really felt sometimes I'm sure someone would want to kill me already.
I don't. I am genuinely happy with myself. You do your best, and sometimes things work in your favour and sometimes they don't. No biggie.
peacefully31425
Dirtbag
- Aug 28, 2018
- 162
I hate myself very much and I have for about 15 years. Like others have said here, I have a tape playing constantly in my head that tells me I am worthless, useless, pathetic, weak - and I believe it.
Sabriel
for in that sleep of death what dreams may come
- Jul 23, 2019
- 209
Someone once told me that I was a, "study in self-loathing." But I can tell you this, there are a *lot* of people out there that I hate even more than myself, so maybe, you know, I'm doing pretty good comparatively.
Edit: I hate my grammatical mistakes.
Edit: I hate my grammatical mistakes.
Thereisnothing
Enlightened
- Jan 4, 2020
- 1,604
I dont actually hate myself, just cant abide the existence I have and all am suffering..........in the past when alot younger I did hate myself...........but these days if I dont love and take care my nurturing then got noone else who will 
Marchioness
Eternal sleep
- Feb 17, 2020
- 296
I have a weird love/hate relationship with myself. Most of the time it's positive self talk but if I make one mistake, that self talk just woosh downhill and it takes a few days to recover from it.
I own property in Belize, which, when i've been down there had Everything, including opioids, Xanax (which I take), etc.
Marchioness
Eternal sleep
- Feb 17, 2020
- 296
I only hate myself because of the abuse I suffered as a kid/teen. I've been in better environments and had lots of therapy since then but that past sticks around like a shadow constantly looking over my shoulder. Also if I mess something up I take it really hard and have to take a few days to recover.
BPD Barbie
Visionary
- Dec 1, 2019
- 2,361
I hate what I've become. Deep down I know I'm not like this, and the old and real me is starting to show through again which is nice. So much happened that was out of my control, child abuse etc, I can't hate myself for that, it wasn't my fault.
Midnight
Beyond solace
- Jun 30, 2018
- 624
Throughout the many (many) years i can't really recall self-hatred being the cause of my depression/suicidal ideation. Just the way life played out is what drives me to the inevitable. Sure there's stuff wrong with me and things i hate about myself but i don't indulge in self hatred .. i just hate my life.
I hear you and totally identify with you pain...it is always a my shoulder as well...therapy was virtually useless.. and made bad choices due to this abuse; i'll Never get over it, I think. My father's answer to infantile toilet training? Rubbing the shit in my face. Enough said. Believe me when I tell you identify with your pain. Just writing this brings a tear to my eye.
No. Despite the propaganda,it is dangerous. My caretaker was shot many years ago; my neighbor was killed last year. Although I own property there,I am trying to sell it. I hate belize
Beautiful avatar by the way.
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Dreamless Sleep
The eternal night before chaos...
- Feb 1, 2020
- 190
OpheliasFlowers
Specialist
- Apr 2, 2019
- 348
I hate everything about myself. I am a piece of worthless shit...couldnt finish college, couldn't even hold onto crap jobs. Couldn't sustain friendships or relationships. I've always been sickly and was unable to have kids so as a woman I feel defective and worthless in that way as well. I was always unattractive, and now Im old too so age and years of bad health have made me even more ugly to look at.
If you suffer from bpd, then you are one of The People of The Future. Your introspective sense consumes you; you feel DEEPLY and. THINK DEEPLY. My guess is that you are hyper intuitive and hypersensitive. There is nothing wrong with that. For people with bpd, it is'nt they; it's THE WORLD that is the problem. Be kind to yourself.
colcol
Member
- Feb 21, 2020
- 30
i hate everything about me .
fucked up body and 61 years practice of how to get it wrong
fucked up body and 61 years practice of how to get it wrong
Oh, I quite forgot other bpd people: Andy Warhol, Vincent Van Gogh, Jackson Pollock, Joan Crawford, Gene Tierney. The list of the illustrious could go on and on. Again, friend, be kind to yourself; your time will come.
I quite forgot to mention that your life is a continuum, not a abrupt end.
Tell me all about it: you are 61, I am 64 years old. I am near the end of my game; I look back with great regret at what might have been. This is why THE REALITY of reincarnation invigorates me. You will return as YOU, the stronger for the struggle, the better for it.
I quite forgot to mention that your life is a continuum, not a abrupt end.
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Despondent
Archangel
- Dec 20, 2019
- 6,777
I hate myself so much that I hate to see myself in a reflection and I don't care to live with myself.. then there's the realization that I'll forever be stuck with me; dead or alive
Keep in mind that when you see your reflection and hate the sight of it that you are unconsciously COMPARING yourself to all who you think are better than you. This is precisely where mirrors deceive. It's as if you are being your own judge, jury and defendant. Without your piece in this puzzle, it's essentially game over. From one self-hater to another,
What specifically makes you Hate Yourself? Believe me, I have asked myself the same question. Perhaps together, we can figure it out, huh?
Whoops! Accidental repeat!
What specifically makes you Hate Yourself? Believe me, I have asked myself the same question. Perhaps together, we can figure it out, huh?
Whoops! Accidental repeat!
Conker
Specialist
- Oct 22, 2019
- 351
I never truly had any hatred for myself, my disdain is for this artificial matrix & airs of amnesia that's imposed on us.
UnsureWhatToDo
Member
- Feb 29, 2020
- 13
Quite a lot. Instead of trying to put myself together, I always end up looking to suicide. The more time that I waste, the more I cannot go back. It really is starting to seem like this is a better option.
