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NitriteAnatomy

NitriteAnatomy

Lost. Alone. Trapped. Need escape.
Nov 21, 2019
450
Funny thing is, Cannabis is what's helped me maintain my mental state, mostly. Yet I've been dry on that for......5-6yrs? And since I'm anti social, pretty hard to just randomly attempt to get any. So I drink. I've only ever been a social drinker, but lately, anymore.....fuck it. Sitting here, mixing Strawberry Steel Reserves with copious amounts of UV Vodka pretty much every other night. Cheap and does the trick, plus good enough metabolism to never get hung over.
 
mathieu

mathieu

Enlightened
Jun 5, 2019
1,090
I drink lightly and snort heroin or other opioids occasionally. Sometimes take mdma. Coke doesn't work on me.
 
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R

Roberto

Wizard
Jan 19, 2019
684
I'm a sugarholic. I bet a lot of us (far more than admit or officials care to acknowledge) distract ourselves from life's horrors with lots of "bad" things. If the people who claim they have the answer actually had 'em, I doubt addiction would be such a huge problem...
I was sugarholic. Now I'm diabetic type 1 (Not related to the sugar I took). Every year I'm fucked up. If it's not sugar, weight, if it's not I don't know ... doesn't matter.
 
notjustyetagain

notjustyetagain

Oct 28, 2019
169
i stopped drinking a decade ago, but i was a homeless alcoholic for a few years. that did irreparable harm to myself and my life, just not enough. when i was 13-14 i spent over a year taking acid every second day, i think that fried my brain too. i stopped smoking weed at 15 for the paranoia. i've been hooked on benzos as well. these days i only abuse opiates, albeit twice daily. major addictive personality; same with both parents and siblings.

thinking of drinking ethanol prior to downing my SN. risky on many levels, but i'm not sure i could go through with it without dutch courage. else i could go off my opiates cold turkey... that boosts suicidality significantly, but also increases vomiting. part of me thinks i should go through with CTB au naturel, but another part doesn't believe suicide is natural in the first place, so i dunno. ends > means?
 
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fastFWD

fastFWD

running out of time...
Feb 12, 2019
151
hard drugs daily here. mostly crystal meth/heroin.
 
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Q

Qdv

Student
Sep 17, 2019
100
Alcoholic. I used to smoke small amounts of weed all day everyday for a solid 5-6 yrs but Ive given it up this year. Drinking is not even helping at this point and my tolerance doesnt allow me to get drunk anymore but it gets me through the day. Ill start as early as I wake up if I want to since Ive lost the will to maintain myself. Ive cut down since last year and a bottle of wine or vodka lasts a few days. Only hitting the liquor store once or twice a week
 
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a.n.kirillov

a.n.kirillov

velle non discitur
Nov 17, 2019
1,831
I quit binge drinking as of June 2018, but there are other forms of escapism.... Obsessive eating, exercising, reading, phone, daydreaming, etc, etc... Alcohol just made me feel especially bad. But it also made me feel especially good, if only momentarily, two drinks in.
 
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T

Thisisjustadream

Member
Nov 3, 2019
72
I drink alot. Drinking right now
 
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k75

k75

L'appel du Vide
Jun 27, 2019
2,546
Very light drinker these days, but I take gabapentin. I'm prescribed it for nerve damage and anxiety, which makes it easy to abuse.
 
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Moonicide

Moonicide

ᴘʜᴀꜱᴇꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴏɴ
Nov 19, 2019
802
Been drinking more than usual lately, but not enough to be labelled as an alcoholic. I steered away from any sort of alcohol due to being Bipolar and on multiple medications. But everything went downhill and I said to hell with it. I drank a full bottle of vodka and needed 2 days to recover from that. It's been a while, I want to drink again. It's either drinking or binge eating for me.
 
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R

Roberto

Wizard
Jan 19, 2019
684
Been drinking more than usual lately, but not enough to be labelled as an alcoholic. I steered away from any sort of alcohol due to being Bipolar and on multiple medications. But everything went downhill and I said to hell with it. I drank a full bottle of vodka and needed 2 days to recover from that. It's been a while, I want to drink again. It's either drinking or binge eating for me.
It's a bad mix medication & alcohol. I had problems with it. Now I drink, but have the half medication. It doesn't happen the things used to happen before (amnesia, strange behaviour, etc.). I use to drink wine with lemonade. I normally don't get too drunk. And I don't have hangover normally. But there have been a pair of days that my head was a bit with headache. Time will tell what happens. I don't think I could be labelled as an alcoholic. But I drink everyday. 2 or 3 glasses. I'm fucked by a diabetes diagnosed recently. I have some problem with binge eating. I can't stop sometimes. It's a problem for my diabetes.
 
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BPD Barbie

BPD Barbie

Visionary
Dec 1, 2019
2,359
I just binge eat, literally whatever I want, whenever I want and in any amount. I don't drink, don't take drugs though I have smoked weed a lot during my younger years. Have a massively addictive personality, so I try and stay away from anything that can further harm me.
 
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M

mouseteeth

Member
Dec 2, 2019
65
I never really drank until I turned 21 and could buy it myself. But as soon as I gained that access to it I've drank pretty heavily since then. Getting drunk nearly every single day, often blacking out.
I'm 29 now and amazed I'm even still alive. A year ago I went about 5 months without, and since I've started drinking again I only do it maybe once a week and never get sloppy drunk or black out. I get abdominal pains now especially on my right side where the liver is.
I'd rather not die a slow death from alcohol-related issues. Yet it's the only thing that makes life bearable.
I wish I could just smoke weed and relax but weed tends to make my demons come out.
 
I’vehadenough

I’vehadenough

Elementalist
Sep 15, 2018
847
Yeah but I need shrooms or something that takes my mind away completely. If you have any pm me
 
I

IHaveNoIdea

Member
Aug 29, 2019
24
I would if only there was something that worked for me. Tried kratom though it didn't work for me and I think I took something like 70 capsules maybe. Phenibut did nothing but make me vomit. Alcohol used to work though I stopped drinking early this year because I found that it no longer calmed me. So many folks love benzos but they do nothing for me, which is a real bitch since anxiety is my primary problem. I gave up on pot since I don't enjoy it, at best it will make me a bit sleepy. I can't get my hands on the drugs I really want to to try (or try further). If I could get anything I wanted I'd seriously experiment with ketamine and GHB. Would also love to try hallucinogens and MDMA. I also wish Nembutal & Seconal were still in use as sleeping pills. I haven't been able to sleep since early March and every damn sleep aid has failed me.

My doctor put me on Xyrem which is GHB. It's the only sleep medicine that worked for me.
 
SlackJim

SlackJim

Nothing lasts, but nothing is lost
Sep 30, 2019
226
Weed most the time and sometimes dip into alcohol. Had a bit of a party phase where I would take quite a lot of MDMA, ketamine, LSD, Laughing gas, Valium, Speed and Coke. My all time favourite was candy flipping (LSD and MDMA combo), especially if you top it off with laughing gas, I'm not even joking that trio will take you past the edge of the universe (The universe is shape like a fractal torus, if you were interested). I would really like some ketamine now, but I have no money.
Yeah but I need shrooms or something that takes my mind away completely. If you have any pm me
have you tried shrooms? in my experience they do the opposite of taking your mind away completely
 
MeltingHeart

MeltingHeart

Visionary
Sep 9, 2019
2,151
Alcohol/ nicotine (gross) :(
 
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D

Desi

Student
Aug 16, 2019
118
I've started to drink quite a lot recently and it scares me. I know i'm slowly slipping into darkness with it, i know it's only momentary comfort but still, i do it.
 
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J

Journeytoletgo

Broken and hated 7-14 years long overdue
May 14, 2018
1,608
Alcohol and I wish I never even tried it and stayed away from it
 
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W

WFJ74

Student
Aug 18, 2020
150
Full blown alcoholic here. My typical week now is 2x1.75L bottles of vodka and a backup .75L bottle I keep in my office to sneak hits off of between drinks. Pretty much translates to 8-10 vodka drinks per late afternoon/evening.
 
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brutalus

brutalus

Student
Jun 14, 2021
159
Yes, many of us here probably do.

Personally, I thank god for the existence and availability of some certain drugs. I sit at home all day every day doing absolutely nothing, and that shall be my fate until I finally ge the chance to leave this miserable life of mine.

Without drugs, my boredom and overthinking (anxiety, stress) would be unbearable to the point I'd probably CTB immediately.
MAN, what you said about being grateful to drugs is so important!!!!!!

please check out DR Gabor Maté on the nature of addiction:

 
Ramirez

Ramirez

Criminally insane
Jun 10, 2019
396
Cripplingalcoholism at this point. 1 liter of vodka a day more or less.
 
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brutalus

brutalus

Student
Jun 14, 2021
159
I LOVE THIS SUBJECT!

- 1 zoloft a day.
- marijuana all day.
- what i like to do with alcohol is: wake at 7 drink before breakfast, that way i get a stronger kick. then around 11 eat, pass out. then i wake again around 3pm, repeat, wake at 7pm repeat, repeat. i oscillate between vodka and tequila with ice and sparkling water... actually my mouth is watering. im gunna make one now!!!!! wohoo!
- im a freelance ghostwriter for a specific industry. whenever i get a job i buy 1 gram of coke as a rule.
- i take viagra every time I have sex. which has been exclusively with prostitutes for the last 2 years. no condom if they let me.
- im always open to try new drugs if offered but now i dont have any friends left so its unlikely to happen again.
- one drug i would not recommend is cigarette! its a stupid drug that has no positive effect.

drugs have 2 very important roles in my life:
- drugs are the only true protection against the pain of the world. i worship them for this.
- drugs are a slow suicide.
Cripplingalcoholism at this point. 1 liter of vodka a day more or less.
i recommend you branch out to other stuff as well. i only take 1/3 litre a day, but more than make up the goodness with other things.
 
Last edited:
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brutalus

brutalus

Student
Jun 14, 2021
159
What's the point of taking Zoloft? To make yourself anorgasmic?
yup, thats one of the excellent effects. as discussed in another post, sex and love have only brought me pain. zoloft rids me of this trouble.
 
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Ramirez

Ramirez

Criminally insane
Jun 10, 2019
396
I LOVE THIS SUBJECT!

- 1 zoloft a day.
- marijuana all day.
- what i like to do with alcohol is: wake at 7 drink before breakfast, that way i get a stronger kick. then around 11 eat, pass out. then i wake again around 3pm, repeat, wake at 7pm repeat, repeat. i oscillate between vodka and tequila with ice and sparkling water... actually my mouth is watering. im gunna make one now!!!!! wohoo!
- im a freelance ghostwriter for a specific industry. whenever i get a job i buy 1 gram of coke as a rule.
- i take viagra every time I have sex. which has been exclusively with prostitutes for the last 2 years. no condom if they let me.
- im always open to try new drugs if offered but now i dont have any friends left so its unlikely to happen again.
- one drug i would not recommend is cigarette! its a stupid drug that has no positive effect.

drugs have 2 very important roles in my life:
- drugs are the only true protection against the pain of the world. i worship them for this.
- drugs are a slow suicide.

i recommend you branch out to other stuff as well. i only take 1/3 litre a day, but more than make up the goodness with other things.
I'm jelly of the prostitutes thing :hihi:.No offence to women. No money for that. I have some stimulants and other things aswell but my alc tolerance off the charts at this point. Doenst zoloft and coke put you in the risk of serotonin syndrome?
 
Last edited:
brutalus

brutalus

Student
Jun 14, 2021
159
i didnt know about serotonin syndrome, i looked it up. welp, the good thing is i dont give a fuck about myself :D
 
motel rooms

motel rooms

Survivor of incest. Gay. Please don't PM me.
Apr 13, 2021
7,081
yup, thats one of the excellent effects. as discussed in another post, sex and love have only brought me pain. zoloft rids me of this trouble.
My brain is weird, no antidepressant has ever had any effect on it & alcohol just makes me sleepy. Only cock-related activities make me happy. I jack off 3-4 hours a day when I can't find anyone to fuck. These days you don't even have to be ashamed of being a compulsive wanker, you can just call yourself a "solosexual" :haha:
 
meetapple

meetapple

Mage
Jun 3, 2021
585
I have drank alcohol once. I have never used drugs except those prescribed to me.
 

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