Discussion How many days without CTB thoughts?

[Okami]

Zero. The thoughts get worse with time.

 

[sarahR]

1

 

[netrezven]

8 months clean from that

 

[puppy9]

8 months clean from that

Clean from ctb thoughts? How did you do it?

Almost 2 days for me hope to see day 3.

 

[netrezven]

Clean from ctb thoughts? How did you do it?

Almost 2 days for me hope to see day 3.

Realized the reasons in the first place. I knew something is wrong with my head. For an year tried to live with the "i've bipolar" idea, witch also fit quite well, but it didn't helped alot. So by accident i was watching youtube videos about mental health and found out what osdd/did is. I had no idea such thing existed and it made sence to all. So we have an alter or a few more, that don't wanna exists. I know their resons and there is really logic behind it. Anyway it was good to know that there are others, that don't mind death, but have some plans and ambitions to be set before we go. So without any risk boundries we made a deal on how to keep it on for now and possibly in the future.
For those who don't know what it is - it's basically the highest level of PTSD, and few or many minds/well actually people/ share one body with different memories or some shared memories with possible emotional detachment from them./ And it's hard to spot even by yourselfs.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

0

 

[Sherri]

2 now

 

[GravityUtilizer]

0. But had a good run of days/maybe even weeks before this weekend. Nothing too major happened; it can just get on you again can't it? A tedious cycle of false dawns and crushing lows.

 

[sarahR]

Today I'm in 0 just want this day to be done with! Please night arrive so I can go to sleep!

 

[Darknessallaround]

I don't remember a day I didn't think about CTB in the last 18 years.

 

[Querry1]

My last weekend I've had no suicidal thoughts since a long time, but today we back on it baby, I'm on meds so those may affect it as I'm ready to end it all but I'm still trying for my sister and my friends, I want to exploit all of the options, sorry for the little rant

 

[signifying nothing]

I think reading about others on this site has helped me feel less suicidal, but I don't think the idea is ever going to be off the table.

 

[puppy9]

Almost approaching day 3 and it's rocky ,,,

 

[brood]

Every day, often more than once a day I balance the life I have against the life I wish for, taking into consideration increasingly limited mobility, body parts that just don't work as they used to, aches and pains and whether I still look forward to tomorrow. So far I am happy to carry on, but I can see that at sometime in the future I will make the decision to kill myself and I am happy and comfortable with the situation. Everything is in place for the act to be carried out, I believe I will know when the time is right, not too far in the future I think.

 

[VivaldiBR]

One week today. :)

And my life stills a shithole.

 

[puppy9]

One week today. :)

And my life stills a shithole.

How did you do it?

On day 3 now, hope to move towards day 4

 

[JustDie]

Maybe a week. Until today :(

 

[puppy9]

I'm back to zero sadly

 

[IRIYAMA]

A day break from the ideation on rare occasions. Feels like it's consumed me totally.

 

[sadworld]

I've been at 0 days for a year...

 

[Deleted member 23009]

0, would like to die this second

 

[Gromit-CTB]

0, would like to die this second

Feel the same

 

[VivaldiBR]

Clean from ctb thoughts? How did you do it?

Almost 2 days for me hope to see day 3.

I told the things i'm doing here:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...ds-and-psychiatrist-about-planning-ctb.51990/

 

[TheSkyIsBlue]

About a week, but I broke my strike today

 

[VivaldiBR]

Zero again.
One week is my new record.

 

[Bigpink]

Daily, a source of comfort and solace.

 

[puppy9]

Moving towards day one, half way there but it's shaky

 

[puppy9]

One day

 

[puppy9]

 

[puppy9]

It was hell yesterday but I made it to