How do you give up hope?

[Felodese]

I hit rock bottom a year and a half ago. I intended to CTB but ended up getting involuntarily commitment for a month. At the hospital they gave me ketamine infusions, and it was the first time any form of treatment has had any positive effects (antidepressants just make me numb). So I stupidly got my hopes up.

Back out in reality I'm not cured, just feeling better. The effect from the ketamine wore off in about 2 months.

To make a long story short: since being comitted I've tried to get all sorts of treatments - that were denied or didn't work - and gotten my hopes up only to have it crushed again, over and over. All while being in one of the deepest depression of my life.

I'm so fucking exhausted and worn down from it all and I really just want yo give up, but there's a tiny, tiny hope that I can't seem to get rid off.

Does anyone have any advice?

 

[unabletocope]

You've either got hope or you don't, the only way you can tell is if you can feel it, if you feel hope you're hopeful and if you don't you're hopeless

 

[Return2themoonlight]

As someone who has finally given up hope, this is the best advice I can give. Hoping things will get better will always be there, but the constant misfortune of worst case scenarios and near death experiences made me come to the conclusion that no matter how good things could seem, it's all an illusion. Reality will show you where your life is truly headed no matter how good things can look. Once you come to accept what is than you have no reason to look at what could. Everyone's situation is different, just try and figure out what reality is trying to show you than you will know if you truly have hope for things to get better or if it's just a figment of your imagination.

 

[sash]

Hi
I realise now that hope it's part of the survival instinct. I know im going soon. But I still have half an atom of hope left, a dream I suppose that something will change even tho I know it won't.
All I can really hope for now is peace when the time comes.
I think we all cling to some kind of hope deep down. Or we would have given up before now.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

You have to wait on life's BS to suck the last bit of hope out of you. Hope dies when hope dies.