How do you get the urge to end it without fear?

[Distraughtgambit]

Why do I feel like I don't want to or I can't ctb. I have never been this so low and so worse with my mental state at this point in my life. My mood changes from being depressed for a few weeks to being fine for a few days and now this sadness is back and worse than ever. I wanted to get the urge to ctb myself right now, but I just couldn't, maybe because I'm scared of dying and dying slowly. I wish that when doing it it's as easy as pulling a plug from a socket.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Sadly, it takes a lot of pain. If any coping strategy, even suicidal ideation, is working, then you probably won't do it. It's like David Foster Wallace's analogy of jumping from a burning building. Bad vs. worse.

 

[glitterpvppy]

For me I just have to be panicking enough

 

[violetforever]

i think i will just be too out of my mind

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

In the parking lot right now trying to work up courage to buy a gun. It's so hard to be calm these days. The thought of suicide is one thing and the act another.

 

[DeadManLiving]

When one stops moving the goalposts and catch on fire after shit happens

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

In the parking lot right now trying to work up courage to buy a gun. It's so hard to be calm these days. The thought of suicide is one thing and the act another.

Sat there about an hour. Calmed down considerably from my excited state before. Read about the gun I want (basic Mossberg), read about famous suicides. As I drove away I thought I can totally do this!

 

[idontknowwhatiam]

Sat there about an hour. Calmed down considerably from my excited state before. Read about the gun I want (basic Mossberg), read about famous suicides. As I drove away I thought I can totally do this!

Did you buy it?

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Did you buy it?

Oh no. I gave up and told myself I can totally do it next time.