I've been crying all day. I'm so tired of my life, this loneliness, all this regret and shame I carry with me. I'm haunted by all the opportunities at love that I've lost, how I've left my self become so physically unhealthy, how the injury I sustained and all the surgeries have left me essentially a eunuch. I messed up my life in so, so many ways. All I want to do is feel better, have intimacy again, someone who gives a fuck enough to fight for me.
Not everyone gets a happy life or a happy ending. I want to feel joy again and I'm so scared it's all over. So here I am, spilling my soul to strangers who are suffering themselves, what the fuck am I even doing. I'm so tired of this life.