Help How do i get rid of hopes and fears

[justcallmeJ]

I have tried to recover a lot but im accepting more and more that its pointless. Im stuck in life on so many ways its unbearable, even with the help im getting nothing changes. I see that life never has been meant for me. I will never fit in anywhere. Im tired, useless, and i want to give up. The problem is i keep having hopes that things suddenly might change. Combined with fear of what happens after death i think ctb will be impossible for me. I dont wanna spend the rest of my life rotting away and pray each night i die in my sleep. ctb would be the best option for me, and I still have SN, why cant i just take it and be done with everything?

 

[DoubleUp8]

Sounds like human survival instinct

 

[whycantthiswork]

I have tried to recover a lot but im accepting more and more that its pointless. Im stuck in life on so many ways its unbearable, even with the help im getting nothing changes. I see that life never has been meant for me. I will never fit in anywhere. Im tired, useless, and i want to give up. The problem is i keep having hopes that things suddenly might change. Combined with fear of what happens after death i think ctb will be impossible for me. I dont wanna spend the rest of my life rotting away and pray each night i die in my sleep. ctb would be the best option for me, and I still have SN, why cant i just take it and be done with everything?

i guess people like this aren't pushed over the edge enough to be able to ctb.
this often ends with wanting our feelings and emotions to be validated.
people keep talking about no reason to live, but some people don't have a reason to die and live causing SI and just the desire to simply not exist, most people like this really dont want to die anyways

most of what I said really only sounded good in my head

 

[justcallmeJ]

i guess people like this aren't pushed over the edge enough to be able to ctb.
this often ends with wanting our feelings and emotions to be validated.
people keep talking about no reason to live, but some people don't have a reason to die and live causing SI and just the desire to simply not exist, most people like this really dont want to die anyways

most of what I said really only sounded good in my head

its true that i dont want to die, i just see no way around it because i will never be happy with how everything is going. I need the pain to stop.