Discussion How did you find this forum and do you regret joining?

[Kusogaki]

SS for me has became an outlet where I can express my feelings with like minded people without feeling shamed. A safe place where you can ask questions and meet new people. I do not regret joining this forum. I actually found out about this website from a friend who was talking about how cruel and evil website is. Now i am active member on this site, it's funny. Id love to hear your guys stories.

 

[Rocinante]

I was directed here by someone on discord. I regret joining forums cause they can become a huge time sink but I'm grateful for one of the users I met here

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I was feeling extra suicidal after my grandparents on my father's side had died and incredibly guilty because I didn't want to go to the funeral to see my dad. I had just watched the latest and final season of Bojack Horseman at the time (early 2020) and was just looking up a transcript of the View From Halfway Down poem from the penultimate episode. It turns out someone here way back then posted the poem in its entirety and that's how I discovered this site.

 

[sancta-simplicitas]

I remember I was browsing Wikipedia, probably rabbit-holed myself from "Suicide methods" to something else. I do not regret it for one second. I feel safe and accepted here and I never feel safe and accepted anywhere. It's my go-to when I'm deep down in my own shit.

SS for me has became an outlet where I can express my feelings with like minded people without feeling shamed. A safe place where you can ask questions and meet new people. I do not regret joining this forum. I actually found out about this website from a friend who was talking about how cruel and evil website is. Now i am active member on this site, it's funny. Id love to hear your guys stories.

I think this may be the least cruel community I've ever been part of.

 

[Kusogaki]

I was feeling extra suicidal after my grandparents on my father's side had died and incredibly guilty because I didn't want to go to the funeral to see my dad. I had just watched the latest and final season of Bojack Horseman at the time (early 2020) and was just looking up a transcript of the View From Halfway Down poem from the penultimate episode. It turns out someone here way back then posted the poem in its entirety and that's how I discovered this site.

Do you regret it Coming here?

I remember I was browsing Wikipedia, probably rabbit-holed myself from "Suicide methods" to something else. I do not regret it for one second. I feel safe and accepted here and I never feel safe and accepted anywhere. It's my go-to when I'm deep down in my own shit.

I think this may be the least cruel community I've ever been part of.

Agreed Beautifully said.

 

[Proteus]

I knew it since the subreddit, I just never cared about it. Jump to 2023 and some moron did a video trying to destroy the site, and I wanted to join solely out of spite lol.

I partially regret it. I hurted someone I shouldn't, and I've been thinking I shouldn't have joined. My presence made someone's life worse. I feel really guilty.

 

[Kusogaki]

I knew it since the subreddit, I just never cared about it. Jump to 2023 and some moron did a video trying to destroy the site, and I wanted to join solely out of spite lol.

I partially regret based just on the fact I once hurted someone I shouldn't. I feel I shouldn't have joined after that, I made someone's life worse because I was here. I've felt really guilty since then. It'd probably better if I didn't join.

Oh I see I have a couple of questions if you care to answer.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Do you regret it Coming here?

If I did, that would be kind of crazy since I've got over 20,000 posts from over 4 years (although I did take a bit of a break between July 2022 and December 2023). So no. I do kind of regret one experience I had with a former user but she led me to discover a lot of things about myself even though I never got to see her in person so maybe I don't regret that.

 

[Minsu]

I don't remember how I managed to do it tbh. But it was one of the best things I've made during last few years.

It was literally impossible to find reliable suicide methods before I found this site

 

[hematomatema]

Found this place through Reddit first, I think.

I definitely don't regret joining, even if I floated in and out of active suicidality. It gave me a method, which in turn gave me comfort in knowing that, if it ever got that bad, I had a way out.

Additionally, it's also taught me quite a lot about the process, what to expect, other people's experiences, and all that, which I think has given me a different outlook on life, weirdly towards the positives. It's such a taboo topic to talk about that I never really understood what goes on during and after, especially when it comes to the people involved, like family and friends and the grief that takes place. Recognising how intense that grief can be and coming to terms with it, for example, definitely gave me a greater appreciation for the people around me and how I might harm them with my own ideation.

 

[Kusogaki]

Found this place through Reddit first, I think.

I definitely don't regret joining, even if I floated in and out of active suicidality. It gave me a method, which in turn gave me comfort in knowing that, if it ever got that bad, I had a way out.

Additionally, it's also taught me quite a lot about the process, what to expect, other people's experiences, and all that, which I think has given me a different outlook on life, weirdly towards the positives. It's such a taboo topic to talk about that I never really understood what goes on during and after, especially when it comes to the people involved, like family and friends and the grief that takes place. Recognising how intense that grief can be and coming to terms with it, for example, definitely gave me a greater appreciation for the people around me and how I might harm them with my own ideation.

What's your method of choice?

 

[Eternal Eyes]

I had been suicidal for at least a decade on and off before joining here. I had lurked on r/suicidewatch before. One day, when aimlessly doom scrolling British news, I found a BBC report on a website containing suicide methods that the government wanted banned. Curiosity kicked in (I am naturally very curious) and tracked this place down via Twitter.

I wasn't sure what to expect when I joined. But I quickly found myself enjoying it here. I enjoyed reading about others experiences, their small victories, their battles with issues I can relate to like anxiety and depression. I really joined here when I was at my lowest (I was literally ill mentally and physically every day from around november to early February) and I'm so glad I found this place.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I found this website when I was actively suicidal and searching for methods. I remembered the Last Hope website but sadly discovered that the methods page had been taken down. I scrolled past the suicidal help results on Google until I stumbled across this website.

The experience of reading people's post titles and reading some posts was...unlike anything else I had experienced. Reading this site was shocking to me.

I found several methods and that was comforting and scary, for which I'm grateful for, but the goodbye threads shook me to my core.

I don't regret joining. After the initial shock, I felt a huge sense of belonging and the advice I've received here has been outstanding. My own psychologist was impressed with the advice I received.

It's weird because I love this site and the people in it but I remember vividly mourning for the people I read goodbye threads from on that first day I found this site. Besides those, there are some others that stood with me and I don't think I'll ever be able to forget.

 

[AmericanMary]

I googled "suicide forum" and found SaSu in seconds.

Had I know this site was originally founded by incels, I never would have joined. I would have used it for the public information and never became part of the community.

However. SaSu has been my only coping mechanism for months. I have met some pretty dope people.

I am thankful for SaSu as well, because it taught me not to be impulsive. It taught me to research, take precautions, and how to give my self the best chance.

When I joined, my plan was to cycle thru methods (SWB, jumping, partial & full suspension) until I was gone.

Since then, I have made a will, written notes, take care of my cats care when I'm gone, found better methods, and have educated myself.

Have I ran into bad people on SaSu? Yes. Has SaSu at times made me feel a lot worse? Yes.

But it has also done a lot of good things.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I found it via The New York Times article when I was actively looking for methods. I'm grateful on a daily basis for this community. I've never regretted joining. Although, I do miss some people who have CTB. That is the downside but- it goes with the territory I feel. But yeah, that's kind of tricky. It's not something you can talk to people in real life about either without revealing your own feelings.

Wouldn't someone leave if they regretted joining though? There have been a handful of people that have left but they usually go on good terms I've found. They just don't feel it's a good fit for them anymore. I think that's so important though and it really ought to demostrate awareness. That we're not mindless members of a death cult! I'd argue- people come and choose to stay here because the ideas resound with those they already have- not the other way around.

 

[Kusogaki]

I found it via The New York Times article when I was actively looking for methods. I'm grateful on a daily basis for this community. I've never regretted joining. Although, I do miss some people who have CTB. That is the downside but- it goes with the territory I feel. But yeah, that's kind of tricky. It's not something you can talk to people in real life about either without revealing your own feelings.

Wouldn't someone leave if they regretted joining though? There have been a handful of people that have left but they usually go on good terms I've found. They just don't feel it's a good fit for them anymore. I think that's so important though and it really ought to demostrate awareness. That we're not mindless members of a death cult! I'd argue- people come and choose to stay here because the ideas resound with those they already have- not the other way around.

I agree as well but I found that a lot of people feel like they regret joining but they don't want to Because they long for that feeling. But finding it through New York times What is the most interesting way that I've seen someone find this website.

I had been suicidal for at least a decade on and off before joining here. I had lurked on r/suicidewatch before. One day, when aimlessly doom scrolling British news, I found a BBC report on a website containing suicide methods that the government wanted banned. Curiosity kicked in (I am naturally very curious) and tracked this place down via Twitter.

I wasn't sure what to expect when I joined. But I quickly found myself enjoying it here. I enjoyed reading about others experiences, their small victories, their battles with issues I can relate to like anxiety and depression. I really joined here when I was at my lowest (I was literally ill mentally and physically every day from around november to early February) and I'm so glad I found this place.

I find it quite funny that the government wants to ban this website just for sharing Feelings It's a serious issue That the government needs to take more seriously. Instead I'm trying to hear us out listen to our feelings they try to silence us by banning the forum.

I googled "suicide forum" and found SaSu in seconds.

Had I know this site was originally founded by incels, I never would have joined. I would have used it for the public information and never became part of the community.

However. SaSu has been my only coping mechanism for months. I have met some pretty dope people.

I am thankful for SaSu as well, because it taught me not to be impulsive. It taught me to research, take precautions, and how to give my self the best chance.

When I joined, my plan was to cycle thru methods (SWB, jumping, partial & full suspension) until I was gone.

Since then, I have made a will, written notes, take care of my cats care when I'm gone, found better methods, and have educated myself.

Have I ran into bad people on SaSu? Yes. Has SaSu at times made me feel a lot worse? Yes.

But it has also done a lot of good things.

SS Has it's share of good and bad people but at the end of the day it's something that I Always hold on to and hold dearly.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I agree as well but I found that a lot of people feel like they regret joining but they don't want to Because they long for that feeling. But finding it through New York times What is the most interesting way that I've seen someone find this website.

It's ironic isn't it? I imagine at least half the members here found the site via a media piece demonising it. I reckon by now, at least 1000 people will have found it via the Tantacrul YouTube video. There used to be a poll in the sticky threads. I'm pretty sure it was in the late 700's or 800's for the Tantacrul video the last time I looked.

 

[Kusogaki]

It's ironic isn't it? I imagine at least half the members here found the site via a media piece demonising it. I reckon by now, at least 1000 people will have found it via the Tantacrul YouTube video. There used to be a poll in the sticky threads. I'm pretty sure it was in the late 700's or 800's for the Tantacrul video the last time I looked.

Having watched his video on the site it is really sad to see how he viewus, It is sad what happened to that boy in the video But his parents trying to take down this website and suing is Something that I see is very disrespectful. And I don't really understand why he posted that video it Just bring more people over to the website in the end. It disgusts me that people think that we are a death cult. And that suicide is so looked down upon.

I don't remember how I managed to do it tbh. But it was one of the best things I've made during last few years.

It was literally impossible to find reliable suicide methods before I found this site

This website has offered me so many methods that I am so thankful for and thankful for the people as well.

 

[timetodie24]

So I probably have one of the stupidest ways to find this site . I search 'suicide by soy sauce' or something like that.

Context - I was just searching in general for methods I came across an article of some cases of ctb by ingesting huge quantity of concentrated soy sauce . I was shocked that could actually work so googled it* and a link came up to a thread on here of people discussing it .

I don't regret finding this site at all as I'd have had many more failed attempts by now if I hadn't. It's made me slow down and consider how to do it propely.

* disclaimer I am definitely not going to by soy sauce . Very aware that's highly unlikely to work. I was just intrigued by it but glad I was as it led me here .

 

[peerlesscucumber]

I think I first heard of it from that one video talking about the site, but I eventually joined because someone had put the link on a suicide manual I stumbled upon.
I don't regret joining at all. Even tho I don't interact that much with the community, it has helped me understand and has inspired me to write (which was what I came for in the first place). Plus, this place seems to be the only place where I don't see people get judged based on prejudices and it's surprisingly supportive (unlike some other spaces)

 

[Kusogaki]

So I probably have one of the stupidest ways to find this site . I search 'suicide by soy sauce' or something like that.

Context - I was just searching in general for methods I came across an article of some cases of ctb by ingesting huge quantity of concentrated soy sauce . I was shocked that could actually work so googled it* and a link came up to a thread on here of people discussing it .

I don't regret finding this site at all as I'd have had many more failed attempts by now if I hadn't. It's made me slow down and consider how to do it propely.

* disclaimer I am definitely not going to by soy sauce . Very aware that's highly unlikely to work. I was just intrigued by it but glad I was as it led me here .

Do you have A preferred method nowThat is hilarious I cannot believe that you thought Soy sauce was a good method. Do you have a preferred method now?

I think I first heard of it from that one video talking about the site, but I eventually joined because someone had put the link on a suicide manual I stumbled upon.
I don't regret joining at all. Even tho I don't interact that much with the community, it has helped me understand and has inspired me to write (which was what I came for in the first place). Plus, this place seems to be the only place where I don't see people get judged based on prejudices and it's surprisingly supportive (unlike some other spaces)

What type of writing?

 

[AmericanMary]

Soy sauce method coming 2025 ;)

 

[Kusogaki]

Cant wait !

 

[timetodie24]

Do you have A preferred method nowThat is hilarious I cannot believe that you thought Soy sauce was a good method. Do you have a preferred method now?

I never thought it was a good method. I was just intrigued when I saw article on it as I didn't understand how it could work. So was looking for more info on whether it was genuine (the cases were genuine but very rare just like ctb by regular salt. I think it was something like 2L so now idea how they managed it and the thought of even drinking a shot of it makes me feel sick lmao ) .

my ideal method and the method I have to use are very different . However, neither involve ingestion of condiments you'll be glad to know !

 

[todiefor]

I found the NYT article and subsequently sasu while actively looking for methods, that's all I expected from the site, then I found a community here.

I have mixed feelings about sasu. On one hand I've met the most amazingly compassionate people here, people I wouldn't normally have come across irl, and I've learnt a lot about compassion and human suffering, the impact and multifacetness of mental health issues, I've also learnt a lot about myself here and the experience has pushed me to reassess a lot of my previous assumptions and perspectives and I think made me a better person, which I truly appreciate. On the other hand, has sasu at times made me feel much worse about life and people? Can people at times be extremely hypocritical and mean-spirited as anywhere else irl / internet? Yes.

It's a unique place, the safe space and anonymity means people can be truly vulnerable and speak from their soul, which makes this place truly unique and beautiful but also it can bring out the worst in people, especially those that are looking to take advantage of others vulnerability.

I also find it difficult to deal with people I've come close to ctbing and leaving the site without letting others know, but it certainly is a part of the package here. It's a double edge sword to be this vulnerable.

All in all I'm glad to have had this life experience, i have chosen to continue to be here while sometimes i do feel quite disappointed with this place. I do think if you are trying to recover this place can be quite toxic in some ways, while for others it can truly be a safe haven, and everyone must choose their own relationship with it.

I do have a slight sense of regret as a part of me wonders if I never found this place could I have just rejected suicide as a viable option immediately and moved on with my life. The support on sasu allowed me to indulge and sit comfortably with the idea, and I have found once ctb is accepted as a viable option it can be a real curse to recovery especially if it is a primary coping mechanism. But ultimately I'm not really someone who wants to blame knowledge and the concept of having a choice.

Also, please do be careful here, while I have not been impacted, there are predators/manipulators on this site as there would be anywhere in the world / internet, and people are often at their most vulnerable coming to sasu, it can be a recipe for disaster. The mods do their best to weed them out but do be careful, there's always something to lose even if you think there's nothing left.

 

[Boudika]

I found it, and I'm being 100% serious, by wikipedia. I knew that forum like this exist somwhere so I started looking into shit like "banned forums from reddit" on wiki and I found this. After that, all I needed was quick google search.

And I'm glad I joined bc this place gave me safe space to get some things out of my chest
I found it, and I'm being 100% serious, by wikipedia. I knew that forum like this exist somwhere so I started looking into shit like "banned forums from reddit" on wiki and I found this. After that, all I needed was quick google search.

And I'm glad I joined bc this place gave me safe space to get some things out of my chest

 

[spentspirit]

I found it on Google when searching for how to hang myself. I do regret it, maybe I would've tried harder to recover. But the place from which I've fallen was much much higher up than where I was when I found this site anyway.

 

[Kusogaki]

I never thought it was a good method. I was just intrigued when I saw article on it as I didn't understand how it could work. So was looking for more info on whether it was genuine (the cases were genuine but very rare just like ctb by regular salt. I think it was something like 2L so now idea how they managed it and the thought of even drinking a shot of it makes me feel sick lmao ) .

my ideal method and the method I have to use are very different . However, neither involve ingestion of condiments you'll be glad to know !

Haha. Figured as much. I have a couple questions on your preferred method . Can I PM you?

 

[ToastInTheShell]

It's ironic isn't it? I imagine at least half the members here found the site via a media piece demonising it. I reckon by now, at least 1000 people will have found it via the Tantacrul YouTube video. There used to be a poll in the sticky threads. I'm pretty sure it was in the late 700's or 800's for the Tantacrul video the last time I looked.

Yeah I'm one of those members haha. I remember watching the video and looking for "SS" afterwards, and eventually giving up and searching "suicide forum" and finding it pretty soon after that lol. I had always felt the need to vent my feelings and urges but I never really had anywhere to put my rants. Therapy has never been a huge help and trying to rant on reddit is really just not worth the effort.

To answer OP's question about whether I regret finding it I have to say I really don't. This website honestly just has a really supportive userbase (at least far better than something like reddit). I have received kinder words about my suicidal thoughts here than I have really anywhere else, and felt better after writing on this forum and reading replies of people who feel the same way I do.

This site also has really good resources for CTBing well; minimising pain and maximising efficacy. Before I came here my original plan was painkillers, and thanks to this site I now know is just really painful and insanely ineffective, and I would basically wake up in the hospital with permanent organ damage. I am certain that I would be in a worse place if Tantacrul's misguided video didn't show up in my recommended. Which is... sorta weird lol.

 

[Hotsackage]

If society would actually acknowledge it's downfalls, and stop blaming people for their problems, that can't be addressed medically, some of us might have different views.