Discussion How and why did start SH?

[SecretUser]

I dont mean to offend anyone, i just wanted to know why you started and what u felt that time. There are no judgements here!

 

[SummerTrip]

A girl at the summer camp introduced me to it when I was around 10 years old. I didn't consciously understand why I'm doing this for some time. Just knew it made me feel better.

 

[saikou]

i honestly dont remember exactly why i did it but i was like 11 years old and i remember sitting in front of my door and cutting my arm with a blade from like an art kit my friend got me for christmas

still have those exact scars to this day, didnt fade

 

[darksouls]

I have self-harmed for as long as I can remember because my mother abused me,
I was a sad child, very introverted and lonely

 

[ormana]

I started maybe 4-5 years ago after having a meltdown because of work, I used to have a job where I would have to speak on the phone with customers and they would often take their anger out on you and make you feel worthless. In my mind I did it because it felt like I needed to punish myself because I internalised all of the comments/critique I was subjected to. I haven't relapsed for over a year now but the urges are still definitely there especially when I'm upset.

 

[FoxSauce]

Well I stated sh at 21 I think with a box cutters then to the blades of pencil sharpeners or lids.

But I think ot stems more earlier, every time I do something wrong I insult myself, I still do. I guess that began at a young age.

Also when Im nervous I punch myself I didnt knew it was Sh at the time.

 

[fatpigiee]

I used to hurt myself in different ways when I was little ~3, often as punishment, like hitting my head or banging it on the table when I couldn't understand homework, so much so that my parents didn't really mind anymore. I would bite myself when there was a loud noise or yelling, and Hitting my ears helped me not to hear them,pull my hair when I was angry, and I had a habit of banging my head against the wall before bed because I felt it made me dizzy and helped me to fall asleep, which is a big deal for someone with chronic insomnia.
When I got a little older, around 9, I started cutting myself with needles and rubbing my hands with anything till it bled . I was hurt and became very disgusted with myself, and I started washing and scrubbing my hands vigorously with steel wool until they bled. I didn't know about what SH is yet
At 13 i learned about it from social media
I really hate scars, but I feel better when I bleed. I think i do it for all reason its kinda a part of who i am now.

 

[ineedssris]

i started when i was around 3? i'd hit myself or bang my head on things. then when i was 5 id rub my hands against carpet to where they'd give me a rug burn, then when my mom would purposely break glass on the floor so i'd step on it, i'd pick up the shards and cut myself with them. then it changed to me being 12 using a razor blade for the first time. i'm 20 now and i still am struggling with sh. i use it to cope with stress or anxiety. it's gotten to the point where sometimes i cut myself simply to make blood walls and art with my blood because it makes me happy.

 

[Rainork]

Because some toxic people from my past told me if I didn't SH then I must be lying about feeling depressed and couldn't be that bad.
I think I was about 11/12, I started cutting that night and my SH tendancies have only grown from there.

 

[SecretUser]

sending hugs for all the people

 

[kuroshimi]

Not sure how it actually started, but I was involved in oxygen deprivation since childhood. I never passed out though, but really wanted to. It is more like punishment to me than coping mechanism tbh.

 

[IsolatedChaos]

I was about 12 and just got a new friend in school. She was very emo and SH because of depression was "in" so I became aware of how it works. It's not like I didn't want to before, it's just that something clicked in my head when I realized it's an actual option (the specific method I was introduced to, at least)

 

[meatandboneasmr]

I dont mean to offend anyone, i just wanted to know why you started and what u felt that time. There are no judgements here!

my mother and i had a turbulent relationship growing up + i could not process intense emotions, so everytime she argued with or yelled at me i would SH to release all the anger and sadness i felt. i first started at 10. been more than a decade and still doing it and i still cannot process intense emotions and the stresses of life lmao

 

[XxEstenxX]

I dont mean to offend anyone, i just wanted to know why you started and what u felt that time. There are no judgements here!

I started around 5th or 6th grade. It was with the end of a paper clip or a razor, cant remember. I dont know why I did it. Attention seeking? To feel alive? To lessen the obsession with wanting to die? I dont know. All I know is that I kept doing it, and still do it to this day :)