Venting Having bpd/c-ptsd sucks

[themonkeymaan]

I've been suicidal and self harming since I was 15 I had my first two FP's at 15 and I fucked up with them one of them left because I was drunk and using stuff I never understood why she left me stranded it wasn't her body that was being harmed the other one in opinion she had valid reasons to leave after they both left It took me two weeks before I completely broke down and couldn't handle it and tried to CTB by self harm for the first time and I fucked up royally because I went psychotic I was so desperate to talk to her I sent her a video of my bleeding arm and since then we haven't spoken the guilt of doing that kills me so slowly everyday I'm already hollow and dead I don't want any other friendships I need her I need her so bad the other fp I had died in April and she told me she doesn't want anything to do with me last we talked Im so desperate to talk to that it makes me want to CTB

 

[futurebuscatcher]

Bipolar is ass I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

 

[skylight7]

I've been suicidal and self harming since I was 15 I had my first two FP's at 15 and I fucked up with them one of them left because I was drunk and using stuff I never understood why she left me stranded it wasn't her body that was being harmed the other one in opinion she had valid reasons to leave after they both left It took me two weeks before I completely broke down and couldn't handle it and tried to CTB by self harm for the first time and I fucked up royally because I went psychotic I was so desperate to talk to her I sent her a video of my bleeding arm and since then we haven't spoken the guilt of doing that kills me so slowly everyday I'm already hollow and dead I don't want any other friendships I need her I need her so bad the other fp I had died in April and she told me she doesn't want anything to do with me last we talked Im so desperate to talk to that it makes me want to CTB

did the last one ctb?