its something i have told myself ever since i was 14, when my mother told me i was a mistake.
i am turning 20 in a matter of days, and i have been diagnosed with depression after so many years of torment with my mental health where i had many nights of crying alone at night, ive finally seen a psychiatrist.
now i just feel very much alone, my mother is "supportive", well more like pretending to be.
She acts like she will support me when colly is over but I've heard her plan, she plans on kicking me out from our house and cutting me off once i am done with college. I am not really surprised to be fair, not even hurt, it's not the first time she wanted to get rid of me.
Now her reasons seems to be that I don't participate in our daily house life, that i am ungrateful and that i never apologised for the 20 years of suffering i caused her (i was undiagnosed with autism and struggled at school becayse of this btw) meanwhile i can think of everything she's done to me in the last 6 years and say that it'll always be worse than whatever i have done.
I've heard her talk with my grandma in the past whek i was like 15-16 about how "he's not my son, i don't want him", "well he didn't ask for you to birth him", "how was i supposed to know he'd be like this".
I don't get why the world isn't fair when it comes to parents, I genuinely think I would of never been on this forum if i had other parents, if i had someone.
i am turning 20 in a matter of days, and i have been diagnosed with depression after so many years of torment with my mental health where i had many nights of crying alone at night, ive finally seen a psychiatrist.
now i just feel very much alone, my mother is "supportive", well more like pretending to be.
She acts like she will support me when colly is over but I've heard her plan, she plans on kicking me out from our house and cutting me off once i am done with college. I am not really surprised to be fair, not even hurt, it's not the first time she wanted to get rid of me.
Now her reasons seems to be that I don't participate in our daily house life, that i am ungrateful and that i never apologised for the 20 years of suffering i caused her (i was undiagnosed with autism and struggled at school becayse of this btw) meanwhile i can think of everything she's done to me in the last 6 years and say that it'll always be worse than whatever i have done.
I've heard her talk with my grandma in the past whek i was like 15-16 about how "he's not my son, i don't want him", "well he didn't ask for you to birth him", "how was i supposed to know he'd be like this".
I don't get why the world isn't fair when it comes to parents, I genuinely think I would of never been on this forum if i had other parents, if i had someone.
