Have you told anyone in the real world?

[DoodleBug]

Told only my best friend, my parents only know that I get emotionally impulsive sometimes, but don't know about the rest. This place calms my nerves while digesting that.

 

[Kifa]

Yeah, told some friends I've had for 7 years, they convinced me to not follow thru and I went to a mental hospital for a bit. When I got out everyone distanced themselves from me and now I don't have any friends lol

 

[Merith]

I don't know why, but I told someone of my attempt in early December. We were at an end-of-year party and we were going over our best and worst moments of the decade. Of course, I didn't kill the party, I just refused to answer in front of everyone.

 

[k75]

I've told my sister, my best friend, and my therapist. They don't know I have concrete plans and my method on hand, but they know exactly how I'm feeling. Nothing bad has happened due to me letting them know, and I don't regret telling them. It's good to have the support.

There's a suicide scale I stumbled on somewhere that I use with them to show how bad I'm feeling. That's very helpful, too.

 

[waterbottleman]

No, no one knows I'm suicidal.

I have no friends and no partner.

Don't have a therapist either even though I know I need one.

I do have a family but my parents are old and tired of life, I want them to continue having a happy retirement so I don't want to tell them. I have a sibling but he'd just make me feel worse. He's a really negative person and has really toxic views on life. im pretty sure he lies to me about it because he denies it, but I think he's neck deep in the "manosphere" online I.E the Chan, mra/mgtow, anti-sjw shit which is really toxic and bottom of the barrel dark stuff.

So yeah naturally I don't like talking to my brother cause 90 percent of the time he just ends up ranting about how bad liberals and women are which I'm beyond tired hearing about.

Yeah, told some friends I've had for 7 years, they convinced me to not follow thru and I went to a mental hospital for a bit. When I got out everyone distanced themselves from me and now I don't have any friends lol

Wow great "friends"

 

[Quarky00]

Other than social worker & psychiatrists ("It's not imminent and I'm not psychotic, delusional, or violent") - I only mentioned it jokingly to a friend.

Friend not aware of suicidal thoughts, I just said "rough day which I was dead", laughing, nothing more. Did not answer phone couple of days (had a cold; pretty normal). 3am police knocked my door. Officers visibly shaken, lol. Expecting to find a body..

They asked to look at flat (allowed them kindly). Another team dispatched to friend's house to collect testimony - again, a body was expected. We joked afterwards, when you actually need the police it usually takes hours, and they're useless!

Despite my humorous tone it was very traumatic. And so are my encounters with psychiatrists etc. Ever since I fear every knock on my door. I do my best to act, which is very strenuous. I tend to stare at nothing with an empty look, and must avoid that (even dumb people sense it). Anyways, made me super anxious.

 

[Polka]

It's the zeitgeist. Don't ever let yourself be 'bogged down' by people, cut negative people out of your life immediately. I guess this works until one day you need help yourself.

Totally agree and well put. Not only the family unit but even friendships are now under attack.

 

[hershberger]

I had a plan to end everything in July and then made the mistake of telling a couple online friends who I thought would understand. Well, they got in contact with my wife through Facebook. The end result was that she took me to a hospital where I voluntarily committed myself. That was my first time in that kind of environment, and I intend for it to be my last.

When I got out, my wife had me stay at my parent's house for a month - it's a half mile down the road, so it was okay - and we gradually pulled everything back together. Then, on December 9th I had a panic attack, took too much Xanax...and two hours later my daughter called from school saying she was sick. I drove to get her, and we made it home without incident (somehow). My daughter thought I was drinking (the problem I've had off and on for years which caused the relapse/ideations/hospitalization in July) because there was an empty vodka bottle next to the computer. It was empty because it was old, and I found it buried in a file cabinet while I was looking for some paperwork (this was all minutes before the panic attack). My intention was to drive to the gas station and throw it away, because putting it in our recycling bin obviously wasn't an option. But then the panic attack hit, and everything fell apart. My wife thought I was drinking, and I've been with my parents ever since.

There is little chance of reconciliation, although we are being civil. I am co-dependent beyond comprehension and spend most of my days crying. I haven't worked since April because I had to go on FMLA. I actually have a job offer right now, and a really good shot at another job which I would prefer much more. There's a part of me that says to wait and see how things go with my wife and the job(s). The other part of me is so tired of all this.

Crap. This is supposed to be a short answer thread. No, I'm not telling anyone. My wonderful, wonderful therapist kind of knows, but that's it.

Sorry about the long post. I'm really sorry. If I had SN and all the other stuff right now, I'd start the 48 hours immediately. I hate this so much.

 

[LMLN]

I had a plan to end everything in July and then made the mistake of telling a couple online friends who I thought would understand. Well, they got in contact with my wife through Facebook. The end result was that she took me to a hospital where I voluntarily committed myself. That was my first time in that kind of environment, and I intend for it to be my last.

When I got out, my wife had me stay at my parent's house for a month - it's a half mile down the road, so it was okay - and we gradually pulled everything back together. Then, on December 9th I had a panic attack, took too much Xanax...and two hours later my daughter called from school saying she was sick. I drove to get her, and we made it home without incident (somehow). My daughter thought I was drinking (the problem I've had off and on for years which caused the relapse/ideations/hospitalization in July) because there was an empty vodka bottle next to the computer. It was empty because it was old, and I found it buried in a file cabinet while I was looking for some paperwork (this was all minutes before the panic attack). My intention was to drive to the gas station and throw it away, because putting it in our recycling bin obviously wasn't an option. But then the panic attack hit, and everything fell apart. My wife thought I was drinking, and I've been with my parents ever since.

There is little chance of reconciliation, although we are being civil. I am co-dependent beyond comprehension and spend most of my days crying. I haven't worked since April because I had to go on FMLA. I actually have a job offer right now, and a really good shot at another job which I would prefer much more. There's a part of me that says to wait and see how things go with my wife and the job(s). The other part of me is so tired of all this.

Crap. This is supposed to be a short answer thread. No, I'm not telling anyone. My wonderful, wonderful therapist kind of knows, but that's it.

Sorry about the long post. I'm really sorry. If I had SN and all the other stuff right now, I'd start the 48 hours immediately. I hate this so much.

I'm so sorry for your suffering. Going through your own illness and then separating from your wife must be heartbreaking.
There is a wonderful community here for you. We are here to listen anytime you need to talk.
❤

 

[Moonicide]

No, not at all. If I did they'd try to stop me, which I know is their way of caring about me and that I'm loved... But that does more harm than good. The only people that know about my plans are on this forum.

 

[MysticPerception]

I made the horrible mistake of letting my mother know over a year ago. I was trying to honestly open up and seek advice or I don't know some kind of answer or anything. I wanted to at least try instead of just disappearing on her. It was really awful. Not only did I not get answers I got empty platitudes and she just told me how she would lose the will to live if I died. I felt extremely guilty and terrible but also angry later. It's not even remotely fair to pin that on me when she has other children who are already successful and living just fine and aren't suicidal. Unfortunately for me I'm her favorite so when I do finally do it I guess I'm taking her with me. I hope that's not the case, but to cap off my post don't ever tell your parents if you're serious about doing it. The outcome will not be pretty no matter which way it goes.

 

[Let'sgetoutofHERE]

No, nobody knows

 

[SativaKherifa]

I have told people that I have thought about suicide, but I won't tell people about my current plans.
I don't wanna let them foil my plans, you know.

 

[mayflower]

I have told one person my plans. I guess they didn't know how to respond. Standing by me but not responded in the way I'd like. It's a big risk but i think we owe it to ourselves and our loved ones to try