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Torabol

Torabol

Student
Apr 15, 2023
107
Title. This question is for those who have been suffering from ideation for years at a minimum and had a solid plan to execute it, but decided to have hope.

Well? was it worth the wait? If you could expand that'd be good.

Trying to figure some things out.
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
14,751
I've had ideation since I was 10. I'm 43 now. In terms of being actively suicidal- maybe on and off from aged 20 upwards.

It isn't hope that's kept me here though- it's the feeling that I didn't want to hurt my loved ones. I wouldn't say I've benefitted personally by holding on. I've worked hard in certain areas to achieve things I wanted to achieve but for me- no- it still hasn't been worth it. I could have quite happily died at age 10, 18, 25, 35 and not really missed out on much. I don't regret not doing it earlier though- It would have meant making the decision to hurt people. I no more wish to do that now than I did back then. My life isn't so terrible- fortunately that I can't try and tread water. So- that's effectively what I've been doing. Especially recently.
 
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troubled983

Member
Oct 12, 2022
14
I keep holding on for a few months at a time and always wind up back here.
 
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nicali845

Member
Sep 11, 2023
19
im same as you troubled983
 
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numar

numar

Always tired
Sep 11, 2023
54
I have been suicidal since I was around 8. My first real attempt was 10. Yes I wish I would've completed it then lmao
 
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