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limone

Student
Mar 28, 2019
158
I've mentioned in couple of threads about my decision. Hard to say, but life is currently unbearable for me. It's not spontaneous but reconsidered decision: I gonna hang myself, full suspension. A lot of folks warned me of pain, brutality of this method. However it's absolutely non-reversible, I won't need further tests or failed attempts. Moreover, a risk to be rescued with brain damage is minimal. Now everything is prepared, though I have not set the date and time. I cope with survival instinct - believe me - it's not easy. Maybe I will need a bit of alco, maybe not…It may happen as early as tonight.
 
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ShadowOfTheDay

ShadowOfTheDay

Hungry Ghost
Feb 14, 2019
331
Good luck. I hope it's quick and relatively painless.
 
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Volomori83

Haunted by the ghosts of the past
Jul 9, 2018
126
If hanging is done right there should be an intense pressure on the neck (wouldn't describe it as painful), but only for a few seconds (5-10 seconds), then start to blackout, spasm a bit then go unconscious. There'll be no awareness of what comes next.
 
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marcusuk63

marcusuk63

CTB
Mar 24, 2019
1,735
Pain is a funny old thing . ive been in excruciating on several occasions a few motorbike crashes , run over by a tractor , fallen off a ladder and landed on my foot shattering my heal like an egg shell and breaking two bones and last summer i managed to drop a concrete slab on my foot , i never got medical attention for that as i was hoping i`d somehow die from toxic shock or something lol , i can only move one toe now , but you handle it . anyway as i say ive been in a lot of pain but some how doing something to yourself that might inflict pain is scary
 
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Ruffian

Ruffian

Jumpin Jack Flash, it’s a gas gas gas
Jan 16, 2019
696
Good luck - I find full suspension so scary.
 
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Kikoo Loool

Kikoo Loool

Enlightened
Feb 25, 2019
1,128
Good luck, have rest.
 
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Dead beat dad

Dead beat dad

Enlightened
Mar 5, 2019
1,030
I sincerely hope you find peace friend. May light shine for you and you can rest easy.
DBD
 
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limone

Student
Mar 28, 2019
158
The noose is thick and looks almost comfy. I've placed kitchen stool below. I hope it will go smooth
 
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FauxEmotions

FauxEmotions

Tod durch das Seil
Mar 28, 2019
194
May it be as peaceful as it looks and what comes next is eternal rest.
 
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silentsinger

silentsinger

Experienced
Mar 1, 2019
261
I'm so sorry. But I want you to be ok. You are loved.
 
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limone

Student
Mar 28, 2019
158
May it be as peaceful as it looks and what comes next is eternal rest.
yeah, it's very peaceful and silent here...the noose seems inviting...I've taken off my shoes and socks
 
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FauxEmotions

FauxEmotions

Tod durch das Seil
Mar 28, 2019
194
yeah, it's very peaceful and silent here...the noose seems inviting...I've taken off my shoes and socks

Sounds inviting and nice. Plan on any music or is it perfect setting as is?
 
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limone

Student
Mar 28, 2019
158
Sounds inviting and nice. Plan on any music or is it perfect setting as is?
no, I don't plan any music...I need silence only...I've put on for this journey my favourite skinny jeans and black tee
 
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TheGoodGuy

TheGoodGuy

Visionary
Aug 27, 2018
2,999
Hope everything go smooth and respect for choosing this method, it´s a method that has been used for hundreds if not thousands of years and it works, as you said it´s none reversible which is how suicides should be so really what is some discomfort and pain to a lifetime of misery and suffering?

I am going to use a gun to ctb soon but since it´s a 9mm I have even considered if there will be pain which I am almost sure there won´t be but again a couple minutes of pain to a lifetime of misery, hardship and suffering is okay with me.

Again I hope you have the courage to go through with it and you won´t have too much discomfort or pain.
 
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limone

Student
Mar 28, 2019
158
Hope everything go smooth and respect for choosing this method, it´s a method that has been used for hundreds if not thousands of years and it works, as you said it´s none reversible which is how suicides should be so really what is some discomfort and pain to a lifetime of misery and suffering?

I am going to use a gun to ctb soon but since it´s a 9mm I have even considered if there will be pain which I am almost sure there won´t be but again a couple minutes of pain to a lifetime of misery, hardship and suffering is okay with me.

Again I hope you have the courage to go through with it and you won´t have too much discomfort or pain.
thanks...yes it will be non reversible , the set-up is well done, the rope is firmly attached to hook in the ceiling, unlikely to break...I'm feeling fright of course. I am scared of "complete emptiness" afterwards
 
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TheGoodGuy

TheGoodGuy

Visionary
Aug 27, 2018
2,999
thanks...yes it will be non reversible , the set-up is well done, the rope is firmly attached to hook in the ceiling, unlikely to break...I'm feeling fright of course. I am scared of "complete emptiness" afterwards
Yeah I heard you mentioned the hook before in another post but are you sure it will hold your full body weight? Have you tested it?

I get what you mean, I used to feel so comfortable knowing we will just seize to exist now I desperately want to wake up as a child again once I die or be reincarnated with a healthy normal functioning good looking body in a rich family just to experience what a good life will feel like so emptiness feels a bit scary to me now because I will never experience anything after I ctb.
 
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limone

Student
Mar 28, 2019
158
Yeah I heard you mentioned the hook before in another post but are you sure it will hold your full body weight? Have you tested it?

I get what you mean, I used to feel so comfortable knowing we will just seize to exist now I desperately want to wake up as a child again once I die or be reincarnated with a healthy normal functioning good looking body in a rich family just to experience what a good life will feel like so emptiness feels a bit scary to me now because I will never experience anything after I ctb.
It's expansion anchor used for lifting heavy objects, I've tested it. And my body weight is low. It will work
 
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Volomori83

Haunted by the ghosts of the past
Jul 9, 2018
126
I'll be taking the same trip as you tomorrow. I'm definitely scared but your bravery here lifts me up.
 
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limone

Student
Mar 28, 2019
158
Rope is noosed and tied to the hook with sailing knot. three leg kitchen stool below
 
TheGoodGuy

TheGoodGuy

Visionary
Aug 27, 2018
2,999
It's expansion anchor used for lifting heavy objects, I've tested it. And my body weight is low. It will work
Good to hear, I am not very handy so I don´t know much about it I was just picturing a little hook screwed in the ceiling using your hands to hold a cord for a lamb or something like that.
 
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limone

Student
Mar 28, 2019
158
I gonna climb this stool, then noose my neck and flex my knees to tense the rope to avoid unnecessary jerk. Then I gonna simply kick out the stool
 
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Volomori83

Haunted by the ghosts of the past
Jul 9, 2018
126
Where on your neck are you placing the noose?
 
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Volomori83

Haunted by the ghosts of the past
Jul 9, 2018
126
When are you planning on doing it?
 
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limone

Student
Mar 28, 2019
158
I've adjusted length of rope too. my body won't touch the floor - it's very important - what I want to avoid is botched attempt
When are you planning on doing it?
the setup is ready and waiting...and I've put on fresh clothes for the journey
I am ready...it may happen any minute
 
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limone

Student
Mar 28, 2019
158
Yesterday I was very determined to my cbt. I prepared noosed rope, attached to a hook and placed a stool below. I removed shoes and socks and put on black t-shirt and skinny jeans. Then I spent about two hours reconsidering my decision again and chatting on sanctioned suicide forum. I was feeling very strange, being hypersensitive to all sounds and feelings. My bare feet were like on fire. Finally, when my time has come, I logged out, stepped up the stool, cuffed my left hand and noosed my neck. Then I cuffed my right hand on the back (but the key was in the jeans pocket). It was enough to make one step or just kick out the stool…But I was so scared, sweating, crying, stressed…I was feeling cold death waiting for me just nearby. This time survival instinct was stronger then me. I quitted and decided to wait few days more…
 
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