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Abyss Dweller

Abyss Dweller

Member
Jul 29, 2025
31
When I woke up after the surgery I just felt incredibly honest. (But maybe I was just emotional but it just seemed to me that these are very strong and honest emotions.)

I told the nurse how much I appreciate her kindness.
Even in my drugged out state I was conscious enough not to tell her that:
1. I don't deserve her kindness
2. I wish I had died on the operating table.

I don't know.. it was just these 3 things that I felt very strongly: I wanted to thank her, tell her I don't deserve jack and that I wish I had died.

This self hatred seems to be so deeply rooted in me..
 
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Leonszabs

Leonszabs

Fortnite Expert
Aug 12, 2025
54
When I woke up after the surgery I just felt incredibly honest. (But maybe I was just emotional but it just seemed to me that these are very strong and honest emotions.)

I told the nurse how much I appreciate her kindness.
Even in my drugged out state I was conscious enough not to tell her that:
1. I don't deserve her kindness
2. I wish I had died on the operating table.

I don't know.. it was just these 3 things that I felt very strongly: I wanted to thank her, tell her I don't deserve jack and that I wish I had died.

This self hatred seems to be so deeply rooted in me..
Hey, I hope you are recovering well! I have also had this operation done and I remember it being an annoying recovery process.
 
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timf

Enlightened
Mar 26, 2020
1,426
As I was waking up the nurse put some gauze in my hand. I was going to ask her what it was for when I had to cough. I raised my hand to my mouth and saw what is was for (to catch the coagulated blood that had pooled).

I was prepared for a week of recovery with ice cream and fruit juices. However, learn from my mistake, do not drink V8.
 

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