Venting got out of psych ward last week

[iLikeFrogs]

I spend there 12 days. My psychotherapist just took me there mid session after I was soft launching that I wanted to ctb. I didn't even tell her that I tried to commit in march. I just got worse there honestly, and I got a bit better, but I'm still more suicidal than I was before, and my anxiety is through the roof. My father also got worse. I just want to finally move out and hopefully not fail my 1st year collage.

After I get a job this summer I'm spending my salary on benzos and meto for my protocol. That's so far the only thing I'm lookin out for.

 

[Frem]

yeah it sucks when stuff like that happens to you even if it's from the place of concern, I probably was a sentence or two away from getting locked myself when I was first meeting with my psychiatrist even tho he was a nice and understanding guy, and I know they have to rat you out if they think your life is in active danger but I wish it would be something less hair triggery or all or nothing situation so you could actually talk about stuff like that with them
and for a advise save some money and find a good psychiatrist if you don't take meds or if you feel like your current ones aren't helping you much, anxiety meds were useful for my paralyzing anxiety and antidepressants haven't done much for me but my friend function somewhat normally thanks to them and it's mostly a matter of try and error that takes few weeks to few months to find something that works for you
oh and as for collage remember that most people starts putting real effort into learning 2 weeks before the exams and a lot of them still passes so if you can start slowly learning stuff now you should be fine even if it doesn't look like that, unironically going into fuck it we ball mindset and a bit of cheating was the reason I was doing good in collage myself until I decided to try to ctb and give up on education