Goodbye Thread.

[J1214]

Hello everyone.

I've decided that today will be the day I carry through on my plan to CTB.

I thought about doing it on my birthday, but I've gotten to a point where I can't compete with life another day.

My chosen Method is death by ingesting a lethal dose of Sodium Nitrite.

I've got two bags, each 8 ounces; more than enough.

I've also got party cups, distilled water, Ibuprofen, an Antacid, and Nauzene.

My plan is to go about my day as if it were any other day. Just to make myself less suspicious.

Here is a timeline of sorts:

12:00 A.M.- 8:00 A.M.: fasting.
8:30 A.M.: wake up.
??:??: hang out with my Mother, tell her and my twin I love them both. Text the same to my older brother and Nieces.
5:00 or 7:00 P.M.: take 3 Ibuprofen.
7:15 P.M.: take 2 Nauzene.
7:30 P.M.: take 2 of the Antacid Calcium Carbonate.
8:00 P.M.: drink 25 or more grams of Sodium Nitrite. Listen to the Touch by Stan Bush and After Dark by Mr. Kitty. Also, put on my favorite cross to wear and make peace with the Universe and by extension existence itself.
??:??: hopefully some time after 8:00 P.M. will have death waiting for me.

In my own opinion, I don't have much of a story to tell.

Just another person struggling on this beautiful part of the Universe.

If you have questions that could provide you with something of value, go ahead and ask.

And, thank you for being with me during my final moments. Like I told the website register screen: I don't want to die alone.

 

[Mebius]

OP you shouldnt say goodbye too clearly just in case you dont follow through.

 

[J1214]

OP you shouldnt say goodbye too clearly just in case you dont follow through.

Maybe you're right.

 

[Mebius]

Maybe you're right.

I told my mom I will be dead and I still survived drinking 7g SN and 900mg Propanolol, so yeah, probably shouldnt do that. Maybe just hang out with them for the last time.

 

[whitesumac]

So where are you located .. im in Canada and it must be Monday where you are now?
I've got argon n co2. It stares me in the face and im just worried that if I do it then hindsight things could change wich is my only fear of why im not dead yet.. im bed riddin and stuck in a prison in my own body n home stuck to my room and use a bed pan and calfiter cause I can't walk or stand up be cause of my disease that's eaten away my spine , 14 disc's and vertebrae in my cervical spine and lumbar are mush. T5 t8 also gone, I lose t4 and I lose use of lungs diaphragm and ill suffocate . But with my luck I'll ctb and something good will happen but I'll be gone..

 

[J1214]

So where are you located .. im in Canada and it must be Monday where you are now?
I've got argon n co2. It stares me in the face and im just worried that if I do it then hindsight things could change wich is my only fear of why im not dead yet.. im bed riddin and stuck in a prison in my own body n home stuck to my room and use a bed pan and calfiter cause I can't walk or stand up be cause of my disease that's eaten away my spine , 14 disc's and vertebrae in my cervical spine and lumbar are mush. T5 t8 also gone, I lose t4 and I lose use of lungs diaphragm and ill suffocate . But with my luck I'll ctb and something good will happen but I'll be gone..

I'm so sorry. Life can be horrible.

I'm from the United States and yes, it is Monday.

 

[heavyeyes]

Best of luck to you if you do end up going forward with your plan. Whatever you're going through I hope you find peace

Also if you don't plan to already I would recommend making at least one back up drink just in case you vomit the first one

 

[enduringwinter]

I sense your story through the gentle words and calm conciseness.

Here with you.

 

[J1214]

Best of luck to you if you do end up going forward with your plan. Whatever you're going through I hope you find peace

Also if you don't plan to already I would recommend making at least one back up drink just in case you vomit the first one

Gotcha and thank you.

Good thing I bought plastic cups.

I sense your story through the gentle words and calm conciseness.

Here with you.

Thank you, truly.

 

[Traveller12724]

Safe travels my friend and best of luck to you! I will try to be here with you, and plus I won't be too far behind since my ctb is coming up in 12 days, so tell me what did you learn of it all in the end, what did you realize mattered in life ?

 

[J1214]

Safe travels my friend and best of luck to you! I will try to be here with you, and plus I won't be too far behind since my ctb is coming up in 12 days, so tell me what did you learn of it all in the end, what did you realize mattered in life ?

Thank you.

I hope we both get what we want.

A lot of things in life now have this heavenly look to me. Creatures like bees for example, look much more beautiful now.

What mattered to me in life is that humans should have inherent rights and possibly the biggest one is the right to a peaceful death.

 

[rozeske]

I wish you all the best in your plans. I hope you find your peace

 

[J1214]

I wish you all the best in your plans. I hope you find your peace

Thank you. If an afterlife does exist, I hope it's whatever our hearts desire. I desire a mansion that holds an infinite spanning library.

 

[YosemiteGrrl]

Are you still with us @J1214?

 

[J1214]

Are you still with us @J1214?

Yes I am.

Still plan on doing it today.

Just have to find a time that I can do it without looking suspicious.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Safe travels and good luck! I hope you find peace!

 

[rozeske]

Yes I am.

Still plan on doing it today.

Just have to find a time that I can do it without looking suspicious.

Whatever decision you will be making make sure to do so before drinking the SN. Here with you whatever you decide

 

[XdragonsoulX]

Hello everyone.

I've decided that today will be the day I carry through on my plan to CTB.

I thought about doing it on my birthday, but I've gotten to a point where I can't compete with life another day.

My chosen Method is death by ingesting a lethal dose of Sodium Nitrite.

I've got two bags, each 8 ounces; more than enough.

I've also got party cups, distilled water, Ibuprofen, an Antacid, and Nauzene.

My plan is to go about my day as if it were any other day. Just to make myself less suspicious.

Here is a timeline of sorts:

12:00 A.M.- 8:00 A.M.: fasting.
8:30 A.M.: wake up.
??:??: hang out with my Mother, tell her and my twin I love them both. Text the same to my older brother and Nieces.
5:00 or 7:00 P.M.: take 3 Ibuprofen.
7:15 P.M.: take 2 Nauzene.
7:30 P.M.: take 2 of the Antacid Calcium Carbonate.
8:00 P.M.: drink 25 or more grams of Sodium Nitrite. Listen to the Touch by Stan Bush and After Dark by Mr. Kitty. Also, put on my favorite cross to wear and make peace with the Universe and by extension existence itself.
??:??: hopefully some time after 8:00 P.M. will have death waiting for me.

In my own opinion, I don't have much of a story to tell.

Just another person struggling on this beautiful part of the Universe.

If you have questions that could provide you with something of value, go ahead and ask.

And, thank you for being with me during my final moments. Like I told the website register screen: I don't want to die alone.

Wishing you safe travels on your journey, Mr. kitty is such a great artist, he has many great songs one of my favourites is Years, and From Liquid. Regardless I wish you eternal peace and safe travels

 

[Rosebud0924]

Yes I am.

Still plan on doing it today.

Just have to find a time that I can do it without looking suspicious.

I sent you a message. Can you please let me know if you received it?

 

[Roadrunner]

OP you shouldnt say goodbye too clearly just in case you dont follow through.

I agree 100%, and perhaps do it just before the SN. If someone gets suspicious and calls for help, you want it to be "too late" by the time they find you.
I hope your journey is calm and peaceful, ill be thinking of you, wishing you the best in my mind. You won't be alone

 

[thebelljarrr]

Peace and love.

 

[BARIZON]

How is your day going? The first time I planned on doing it when day the arrived my mind turned into a complete nightmare, i hope you're doing better.

I'm still planning on doing it next weeknd, lets see how it goes. I already have the SN and all the extra meds necessary, even luxury things like benzos.

 

[ItsyBitsyWeetard]

How is your day going? The first time I planned on doing it when day the arrived my mind turned into a complete nightmare, i hope you're doing better.

I'm still planning on doing it next weeknd, lets see how it goes. I already have the SN and all the extra meds necessary, even luxury things like benzos.

Are you planning on documenting it

 

[darkandtwisty]

I'll keep in my thoughts. I'm in the USA as well. I hope you find the peace you are looking for. For the day, treat yourself as gently as possible. Enjoy the little things.

 

[BARIZON]

Are you planning on documenting it

No, i think ill be talking in private with some friends i made in here, just so i dont feel conpletely alone.

 

[J1214]

I sent you a message. Can you please let me know if you received it

Yes I received your message.

How is your day going? The first time I planned on doing it when day the arrived my mind turned into a complete nightmare, i hope you're doing better.

I'm still planning on doing it next weeknd, let's see how it goes. I already have the SN and all the extra meds necessary, even luxury things like benzos.

My day has been okay so far. To be honest, I'm in the same boat. I've read a lot of promising things about the method I've chosen and yet I'm still scared shitless.

I'm thinking about doing it tomorrow as I have a late evening shift. I can do it after I get off work as my family knows my job flexes up or down based on the workload.

Plus, I was born on a Tuesday so it will be poetic in a way.

 

[BARIZON]

Yeah bro, when the day comes all the bad things about the method seems to overshadow all the positive ones.

I guess if you really wanna do it, you cant think about it too much, just consider the decision as taken and try to distract yourself with whatever until the time arrives.

 

[J1214]

Yeah bro, when the day comes all the bad things about the method seems to overshadow all the positive ones.

I guess if you really wanna do it, you cant think about it too much, just consider the decision as taken and try to distract yourself with whatever until the time arrives.

Thank you for the advice. And, good luck on your journey.

I was planning on only listening to two songs but I might have to add more.

I was thinking about Frogs, Black Gives Way To Blue and God Am by Alice In Chains. All of those songs encapsulate my feelings towards life. Highly recommend them.

 

[BARIZON]

Thank you for the advice. And, good luck on your journey.

I was planning on only listening to two songs but I might have to add more.

I was thinking about Frogs, Black Gives Way To Blue and God Am by Alice In Chains. Both songs encapsulate my feelings towards life. Highly recommend them.

Gonna listen to them, also, sorry for being that person to put more doubts on your head, just wanna remind you that you can always change your mind if you don't feel like you are ready for it, there's no shame in that. Whatever you choose, i'm gonna have you in my thoughts and prayers (although im an atheist xd).

 

[J1214]

Gonna listen to them, also, sorry for being that person to put more doubts on your head, just wanna remind you that you can always change your mind if you don't feel like you are ready for it, there's no shame in that. Whatever you choose, i'm gonna have you in my thoughts and prayers (although im an atheist xd).

Thank you, truly.

And no worries. I had doubts the moment I saw the SN in my Mother's mailbox.