Goodbye and thank you SS-(Method- N)

[Despondent]

I wish you nothing but tranquility and a restful exit. Remember to take steady breaths.

You did make comment that you're anxious and I want to remind you that ctb isn't going anywhere -- it will always be an option. Do not feel obligated to go through with this if you're having doubts. This is the biggest decision that anyone will and can ever make. We're all here for you and we love you!!

 

[Benegra]

View attachment 71776
There's so fucking much!!

You can do it bud

 

[stygal]

We are here with you - no matter what path you ultimately decide to take

 

[angelus]

Are you ok?

 

[littlelungs]

Survival instinct is almost always there, which can be a massive barrier, even if one is suffering unfathomably and wishes to put a stop to it. I feel for you so hard, xLostHopex, and I'm so sorry that you're experiencing so much anxiety right now, in such a vulnerable moment no less, on top of everything else you're battling.

I can't stress enough that there is absolutely no shame in putting it off indefinitely if you feel that it's not your time yet. This is a decision that only you can make for yourself – personal autonomy is what it all comes down to – and no matter what you do, there will always be a community here to either be there for you, or to remember you fondly. We are here for you, and we love you! Sending my warmest hugs your way.

 

[onmywayout]

I wish you peace. It is your decision and yours alone. Whatever you decide to do, do not be hard on yourself, be kind and gentle with yourself, you deserve it.

 

[Johnjohn1]

I wish you all the peace and Tranquility possible if it's not your day that's okay too. I will be doing the exact same thing as you. I have 2. 100 hundred milliliter bottles of N from A. I so wish I would have gotten the third bottle as I weigh a hundred and 80 lb and I'm not sure if it's enough to be guaranteed an exit? Does anybody know? I have terrible damage from Levaquin and Lyme disease. I am in constant pain and other symptoms. Could somebody please let me know thank you
I meant 180 lb
I meant 180 lb

 

[xLosthopex]

I'm around 40kg and 5'9-5'10" so that's a BMI of like 12-13 so am hoping that makes the transition faster and smoother…
WHY AM I STILL JUST STARING AT THE GLASS
I'm so scared because it's so much that I will just vomit or something… I cannot afford to fail or to end up a vegetable, that is my worst fear

 

[Benegra]

I'm around 40kg and 5'9-5'10" so that's a BMI of like 12-13 so am hoping that makes the transition faster and smoother…
WHY AM I STILL JUST STARING AT THE GLASS
I'm so scared because it's so much that I will just vomit or something… I cannot afford to fail or to end up a vegetable, that is my worst fear

Have you fasted before this and eaten a light meal?

 

[xLosthopex]

Have you fasted before this and eaten a light meal?

Eaten and purged, a few hours ago
I know you're supposed to do that but I knew that wasn't going to be happening for me with my eating disorder

 

[Benegra]

Eaten and purged, a few hours ago
I know you're supposed to do that but I knew that wasn't going to be happening for me with my eating disorder

I wish you the best of luck. We're all here for you. Take your time.

 

[Lost Magic]

I never knew a person had to drink that much nembutal. Anyway, whatever you decide to do I wish you nothing but peace and love as do we all. You fought a hard battle. Bless your heart.

 

[xLosthopex]

I just properly tasted it and it's disgusting
So bitter

I never knew a person had to drink that much nembutal. Anyway, whatever you decide to do I wish you nothing but peace and love as do we all. You fought a hard battle. Bless your heart.

It's only 200ml that's what's recommended
But 200 ml is a lot when it's so bitter and gross lol

 

[stygal]

I just properly tasted it and it's disgusting
So bitter

Maybe have an ambulance on speed dial just in case you vomit? I read that they saved a person hours after taking N.
If you decide on taking in and don't vomit you'll go unconscious quickly <3

 

[xLosthopex]

How long will it last now that it's been opened if I decided not to go tonight??

 

[ItsTimeToExit]

Removing message because of bad timing.

 

[Peel_the_Banana]

How long will it last now that it's been opened if I decided not to go tonight??

I believe a couple months? if you can put it back in those containers and close the rubber stopper.

I just properly tasted it and it's disgusting
So bitter

It's only 200ml that's what's recommended
But 200 ml is a lot when it's so bitter and gross lol

that's what made me think that video that @checkouttime posted could not have been liquid nembutal. I've heard its gross and hes drinking it too easily.

 

[Midgardsorm]

How long will it last now that it's been opened if I decided not to go tonight??

I was researching that but couldn't find anything.
It lasts 2 years on a sealed bottle, it might last a long while after opening.
One thing is for certain, it last a few days, for sure. So don't rush it.

We are all here for you.

 

[ItsTimeToExit]

How long will it last now that it's been opened if I decided not to go tonight??

Please don't feel that you are forced to use the N just because you opened it.

 

[xLosthopex]

I just poured it back into a sealed bottle. I fucking HATE myself for this. Because this happens over and over with my stupid fucking SI, despite that I HAVE in fact made up my mind on ctb, so it's not a matter of making a decision for me it's just overcoming the SI
like I am literally going to die soon anyway due to my ED which will be a lot more painful and stressful than death by N… so why can't I fucking just get it over with ??!!
I'm so sorry guys

 

[angelus]

How long will it last now that it's been opened if I decided not to go tonight??

I think if you put it in another glass bottle hermetically closed, it will lats u til expiry date with no problems.

 

[Midgardsorm]

You might hate yourself. But we love you.

With ease, friend.

 

[xLosthopex]

I feel really sleepy after the sip I took I think I'm gonna pass out

 

[Lost Magic]

I just poured it back into a sealed bottle. I fucking HATE myself for this. Because this happens over and over with my stupid fucking SI, despite that I HAVE in fact made up my mind on ctb, so it's not a matter of making a decision for me it's just overcoming the SI
like I am literally going to die soon anyway due to my ED which will be a lot more painful and stressful than death by N… so why can't I fucking just get it over with ??!!
I'm so sorry guys

I think Survival Instinct is stronger than anything. Don't worry about if for now. This is not an easy thing to do so don't beat yourself up over this xx

 

[stygal]

I just poured it back into a sealed bottle. I fucking HATE myself for this. Because this happens over and over with my stupid fucking SI, despite that I HAVE in fact made up my mind on ctb, so it's not a matter of making a decision for me it's just overcoming the SI
like I am literally going to die soon anyway due to my ED which will be a lot more painful and stressful than death by N… so why can't I fucking just get it over with ??!!
I'm so sorry guys

Don't be sorry, everyone is scared when it comes to it. That's just natural :/
Don't pressure yourself, maybe work on mental stability/meditation/letting go.

You still have everything you need to succeed or to even give recovery a try <3

 

[Midgardsorm]

I feel really sleepy after the sip I took I think I'm gonna pass out

Sleep well. Tomorrow is another day and your N will be still there, for whenever you need.

 

[angelus]

I just poured it back into a sealed bottle. I fucking HATE myself for this. Because this happens over and over with my stupid fucking SI, despite that I HAVE in fact made up my mind on ctb, so it's not a matter of making a decision for me it's just overcoming the SI
like I am literally going to die soon anyway due to my ED which will be a lot more painful and stressful than death by N… so why can't I fucking just get it over with ??!!
I'm so sorry guys

Liquid N is the kind to be administered intravenous. Did you consider that? It should be easy to put it in a perfusion. It should definitely act faster and you'll avoid nausea. What do you think?

I feel really sleepy after the sip I took I think I'm gonna pass out

It would be good if you can hide the notes and the notebook now

 

[Midgardsorm]

Liquid N is the kind to be administered intravenous. Did you consider that? It should be easy to put it in a perfusion. It should definitely act faster and you'll avoid nausea. What do you think?

I read that you pass out before injecting enough.
Something like that.

 

[angelus]

Yes. It is administered like this for inducing anaesthesia. You pass out nicely without a lethal dose. Therefore if you have it put into a perfusion, it will enter the bloodstream even after you passed out. You'll ctb without knowing it, without nausea, and without SI being there.

I read that you pass out before injecting enough.
Something like that.

 

[Anonymous_A]

Liquid N is the kind to be administered intravenous. Did you consider that? It should be easy to put it in a perfusion. It should definitely act faster and you'll avoid nausea. What do you think?

imo if somebody was struggling to consume a liquid it's gon be much harder to inject themselves