I need it all to be over. I dont know how to be accountable for all my past actions. I dont know how to talk to people, or forgive myself. I don't deserve forgiveness. I have hurt so many people through my manic episodes. I cannot get out of bed, I am trapped bedrotting and not getting this done. I see people just slice through their necks like butter and I want that. To feel blood clog my throat as I sputter and choke and die. Every good part of my life feels so far away and so miniscule.
Do you ever think all the good stuff has all passed
well seems like you just came from a manic episode, and youre on the down swing,
its better to be honest with everyone. a family has much patience, so theyd understand if you apoligized, maybe you need medication?
All the good stuff has never passed, infact thats how human memory work, when you're in the moment time feels normal, looking back at it, it all looks fast.
I keep doing the ole' "i wish i was like that again" and then 3 months later i look back at my current self and say the same thing.
The good stuff has never passed, You're in what i consider a "down swing" or maybe i am unknowledgeable, either way, i think you should contact some professionals, or at the very least wait until this down period is over, at the very least if you seek peace, apoligize to everyone you hurt, that will clear your consciense a tad bit.
I know how it feels, what i mentioned above will most likely not be accomplished, as did i, i apoligized and continued to hurt, but this cycle of doing and not doing makes one more "calloused" towards the right direction.
(sorry for rambling lmao)
Yes. The good part of my life is over.
My life is over. Suicide is just too difficult for me.
I don't deserve forgiveness either. Sorry you feel this way
Being a coward, not being able to commit, was what ultimately healed me, maybe i am a fool for becoming comfortable at my lowest, but my old self would probably be planning now, but i feel kinda peaceful
