Venting General thread for my vents about wanting to die

[FuneralCry]

Existence to me is something that just causes harm.
No matter what I truly will just see existence as something that just causes harm, it's just so harmful to be conscious in this existence capable of suffering to unlimited amounts and I'll suffer as long as I exist, existence to me truly is the most harmful abomination that is ultimately responsible for endless amounts of cruelty and suffering with no limit as to how much agony one can feel. I personally see existence as nothing but suffering and it's suffering all for the sake of it that was always completely unnecessary, only in death will I be safe from all harm and suffering, only then will I be unable to feel pain in any way, to me existence is the most terrible tragedy.

I'd never wish to suffer in this horrific world and I could never see value to existence rather I just see it as an unnecessary harm which just causes all this torture and cruelty all for the sake of it until death takes away all anyway. My wish to die truly is a result of being conscious in this existence and I'll wish for death no matter what as I just don't wish to suffer at all, I just want nothingness instead, permanently ceasing to exist would solve everything for me as only then will this terrible, harmful existence no longer be my concern, there's just so much cruelty in this torturous existence. It's all just so horrible to me, I'll personally only be at peace when I'm unconscious for all eternity, ceasing to exist would solve everything for me as after all, all pain, problems and suffering are ultimately as a result of this harmful existence, the amount of harm this existence causes truly is beyond comprehension, I'd always prefer to die no matter what, I'll only be at peace once I no longer suffer in this terrible, torturous existence.

 

[whatcouldofbeen]

hey funeralcry,

just out of curiosity what do you think happens after catching the bus? why do you think we exist? me personally i think we exist kinda pointlessly or possibly inside a simulation or for archons (prison planet theory) or some combination / something similar. Hopefully after i die i have enough psychic energy to poltergiest a post about the beyond lol.

 

[FuneralCry]

The wish to never exist ever again.
All I could personally wish and hope for is to never exist ever again, I just want all to be gone and forgotten about for me, I'd never wish to suffer in this terrible, torturous existence where there is all this endless suffering and cruelty but rather I just wish to never exist ever again. I wish for the permanent absence of all pain and suffering where finally this existence is no longer my problem and I can be at peace, personally I'd always prefer to not exist as I find existing to be so deeply undesirable in every way possible but really I wish I never suffered more than anything.

I never should have suffered in this existence I always saw as the most terrible mistake, all I wish and hope for is to disappear from this existence, I wish I could erase my existence so it's like I never suffered at all as I just wish for relief from the terrible, torturous burden of human existence, I wish to be permanently unconscious and permanently unable of suffering but of course the suffering of existing just continues instead with me just hoping to be gone. I truly was never meant for any of this, I'll always find it deeply undesirable to suffer in this existence no matter what which is why I just hope and wish to never exist ever again, I just wish for permanent peace and freedom from all pointless unnecessary suffering in this existence I never would have wished for and never would have chosen, I just wish to never exist ever again and it's all I'll wish for, I could personally never see any value and benefit to existing rather existence is something I'd prefer to avoid no matter what, only permanent non-existence can bring me the peace and relief I search for.

 

[whatcouldofbeen]

hey funeralcry

i have been your writing and its quite beautiful. so i guess thank you for providing some comfort to me. but it also made me think

if the egg theory /reincarnation is true. perhaps your a old soul or a matured soul that has reached maturity but unfortunately was left behind to suffer another cycle in the washing machine of the human condition? do you feel like a old soul?

The wish to never exist ever again.
All I could personally wish and hope for is to never exist ever again, I just want all to be gone and forgotten about for me, I'd never wish to suffer in this terrible, torturous existence where there is all this endless suffering and cruelty but rather I just wish to never exist ever again. I wish for the permanent absence of all pain and suffering where finally this existence is no longer my problem and I can be at peace, personally I'd always prefer to not exist as I find existing to be so deeply undesirable in every way possible but really I wish I never suffered more than anything.

I never should have suffered in this existence I always saw as the most terrible mistake, all I wish and hope for is to disappear from this existence, I wish I could erase my existence so it's like I never suffered at all as I just wish for relief from the terrible, torturous burden of human existence, I wish to be permanently unconscious and permanently unable of suffering but of course the suffering of existing just continues instead with me just hoping to be gone. I truly was never meant for any of this, I'll always find it deeply undesirable to suffer in this existence no matter what which is why I just hope and wish to never exist ever again, I just wish for permanent peace and freedom from all pointless unnecessary suffering in this existence I never would have wished for and never would have chosen, I just wish to never exist ever again and it's all I'll wish for, I could personally never see any value and benefit to existing rather existence is something I'd prefer to avoid no matter what, only permanent non-existence can bring me the peace and relief I search for.

your a beautiful soul and i hope you can get the enternal peace you describe. I wish i was "smart" enough to be able to imagine the peace you describe it sounds mesmerizing. I always thought that the fleeting moments of happiness had a double-edged quality heightening the cutting despair of the lows of life
i think bojack horseman or something else said this but it presented 2 scenarios

1. you are happy and then you are sad
2. you were never happy and as a result your current sadness does not feel like suffering, similar to how adam and eve did not understand the shame in nudity before eating the apple

bad explanation but this video i half-assedly listened to touches on this

 

[FuneralCry]

I suffer simply from existing.
I truly do suffer simply from existing and I'll suffer until death takes away all for me, existence to me truly does feel like nothing but suffering and it's suffering so pointless and unnecessary that I'd never wish for no matter what, I personally just wish for permanent peace from all suffering and I just want to never suffer ever again, I suffer just from existing, as I find it deeply undesirable to exist in every way possible.

I'd never wish for any of the suffering this existence causes and brings rather I just want nothingness and as long as I exist I'll only hope for it, nothing would make me wish for the cruel, futile burden of human existence and more than anything I wish this existence was never imposed. I wish I was never forced into this existence of pointless unnecessary suffering where there is all this cruelty and pain all for the sake of it, existence to me is something so dreadful, I see existence as causing nothing but harm and I suffer simply from existing as I find it such a burden to exist and it's a burden that only permanently ceasing to exist can bring me peace from. I truly was never meant to suffer in this existence and just existing is enough to make me wish for death, I only hope and wish for the relief of an dreamless, eternal sleep where all is gone for me and forgotten about, non-existence truly is the only relief for me personally and I'd always prefer to painlessly die than suffer for the sake of it in this existence I always saw as the most terrible tragic mistake, existing to me truly is just suffering all for the sake of it and I'd never wish to suffer at all under any circumstance.

 

[FuneralCry]

For me ceasing to exist is the solution to escape from unnecessary suffering.
It truly would be the solution for me, ceasing to exist truly would solve everything for me and save me from all pointless, future suffering in this existence I never would have chosen and never would have wished for as after all if I don't exist then I cannot suffer in any way. There is no suffering in what I see as the ideal state which is eternal non-existence, there is no disadvatages to never suffering again yet there is no limit as to how unbearable the torture of existing can get, for me personally a permanent solution to what I see as the ultimate problem which is existence itself is all I'll hope for.

I'd never wish to be conscious of anything at all, I find it such a futile, torturous burden to be conscious in this existence and have to experience anything at all and it's a burden that just causes suffering all for the sake of it and problems there was never a need for, I'd never wish to suffer in this existence rather I just hope to never suffer ever again. I wish to be permanently unable to suffer, I see nothing desirable about suffering in this existence that was completely unnecessary rather I just want death to solve everything for me, existence itself truly will always be the ultimate problem for me no matter what and I'd never wish for any of the suffering this existence causes and brings rather I just wish for true permanent peace. I wish for the peace of never existing ever again where this existence is finally all gone and forgotten about, ceasing to exist truly would solve everything for me and the peace of never existing again truly is all I personally see as ideal, non-existence really is the only peace and relief for me no matter what.

 

[FuneralCry]

I've always wished for death.
I truly have always wished for death and it's all I'll wish and hope for no matter what, for me non-existence truly is always preferable to suffering all for the sake of it in this futile, torturous existence I never would have wished for, I find it the most dreadful, terrible tragedy how this existence was even imposed at all. Human existence to me truly is just pointless, futile suffering and I'd never wish to suffer at all rather I just wish for non-existence and it's all I've ever wished for, only the peace of an eternal, dreamless sleep appeals to me where this existence is finally no longer my problem and all is forgotten.

Personally I'd always prefer to die than be trapped in this pointless existence suffering all for the sake of it just waiting to die anyway, existence to me is just unnecessary suffering and cruelty, I find it a burden to be conscious in this existence and have to exist at all and it's a burden that only ceasing to exist can bring me relief from, I've always wished to not exist as I just have no interest in the burden of human existence. I never have wished to exist and never could do, rather I just want to permanently cease existing in peace and never exist ever again, I just wish for permanent relief from this existence I never would have chosen that I saw as causing nothing but suffering and my wish to die is a result of existence, simply just existing on it's own is enough to make me wish for death, I wish for non-existence because I exist and it's all I'll hope and wish for no matter what, I'd never wish to suffer in this existence I always saw as the most terrible, cruel mistake.

 

[FuneralCry]

I was never meant to exist.
I truly was never meant for something as cruel and pointless as existence at all and I never should have suffered in this existence, to me existing truly is just futile, terrible suffering and it's suffering I was never meant for. Personally I'd always prefer to die than be burdened with this existence suffering all for the sake of it, existence to me just feels like a dreadful, cruel mistake and it's a mistake ultimately responsible for causing endless amounts of cruelty and torture. It's all just so terrible to me and I was never meant for any of this, I was never meant to be enslaved and trapped in this reality where there is all this endless suffering without the option to just painlessly die in peace and never exist ever again but of course the suffering just continues, nothing would make me wish for existence and existence could never be worth it for me.

I see no value to suffering so unnecessarily in this terrible, torturous existence I saw as causing nothing but suffering, personally I'd prefer to avoid existence and all the immense harm it causes no matter what, I truly was never meant for the abomination of existence, I was never meant for an existence of pointless suffering rather I'm only meant for peace, I'm only meant for the peace of an eternal, dreamless sleep where all is finally gone and this existence is no longer my problem. Existence truly does feel like nothing but suffering to me and as long as I exist I'll only hope for permanent relief from this existence I truly was never meant for and could never be no matter what, I'd never wish to exist under any circumstance but rather I just hope for nothingness, I only hope for permanent peace from this existence I was never meant for that only caused me to suffer.