NSFW Gallows Humor (Please share dark jokes) 😂🤣😅

[LivingDeadTGirl]

 

[maniac116]

As I become old, I keep in mind all of the individuals I lost alongside the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the suitable selection.

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

A prisoner goes to the prison library, and asks for a specific book. The guard tells him, "we don't have that book... but we do have the author."

 

[maniac116]

"I hate those people who knock on your door and say you need to get 'saved' or you'll 'burn.' Stupid firemen."

 

[LivingDeadTGirl]

 

[locked*n*loaded]

What's red, 10 inches long, and makes your girlfriend cry when you try to put it in her mouth?

Her miscarriage.

 

[LivingDeadTGirl]

 

[Electra]

"Suicide jokes aren't funny."
Unless they fail—then it's just attempted humor.

Unsuccessfully attempted humor

_______________________________________

 

[maniac116]

1) How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
2) There are so many things going through my head. Sadly, none of it is a 9mm

 

[maniac116]

"My goal is to be so annoying that God questions how the Hell I made it into Heaven."

 

[RoyalBengalAutistic]

 

[maniac116]

Question:
What's the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?

Answer:
Snowballs

 

[Johnzaga23]

Camus said "should i kill myself or have a cup of coffee?"
So I grabbed a cup of coffee and killed myself because I can't do anything without drinking coffee

 

[LivingDeadTGirl]

 

[defrauder9000]

If you remove the "e" and "h" from the word "earth" and put an "f" in front of it you get fart.


Calm down liberals, it's just dark humour.

EARTH without ART is just EH, but EARTH without _H is FART ~ VSauce

 

[LivingDeadTGirl]

 

[maniac116]

 

[LivingDeadTGirl]

I made myself lol today when I went to update my to-do list in my phone

 

[maniac116]

 

[Chains&Whips]

 

[Raven o(T□T)o]

What does the young 14-year-old girl have in common with her unborn baby?



The "mother " is gona kill them

 

[maniac116]

 

[Gl1tch3d G1rl]

Amabs when they're bleeding from bellow:
"Ohh no, I'm dying!" *panik!
Afabs when they're bleeding from bellow:
"Ohh no, I'm on my period!" *Panik!
---------------------------------------------------------------
Why did Super Mario give up on offing himself?
Because he had too many 1ups...

And why did Sonic give up on ctb?
Because he didn't want to let go of his rings. XD

And Link?
Well, he'd just get revived anyway.

 

[LivingDeadTGirl]

 

[Electra]

 

[Chains&Whips]

What do a penis and a shotgun have in common?

Both involve heads being blown.

 

[Electra]

 

[maniac116]

My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset.
She screamed at me and said, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"

 

[maniac116]

Patient: "Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"
Doctor: "To the morgue."
Patient: "What? But I'm not dead yet!"
Doctor: "And we're not there yet."

 

[Electra]