Good night
Kuolema tulee~~
- Jan 18, 2026
- 30
I have been diagnosed with autism and mixed anxiety disorder. At first, they diagnosed me with "dysthymia," and I've seen the word "depression" or similar terms quite often in my medical reports. I'm certain I have depression—one so deep that I feel it in my bones. I've taken different types of medication, and fluoxetine works for me, but I feel like I need something to help me through it.
After 6:00 p.m., I usually feel like doing nothing, with suicidal thoughts. So I decided to take another pill at noon and another at night, bringing my daily dose to 80 mg (the maximum, according to what I've read). For now, I feel better, but of course, I'm the one who adjusted the dose, and maybe the side effects will be worse.
My last psychiatry appointment was on May 13, and since I'm switching psychiatrists, I don't know when my next one is yet. I went to the emergency room, but the doctor who saw me was… let's just say he was an idiot and incompetent. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that increasing my dose won't end up making things worse and that I can get through these next few days.
I… don't know if I want to die right now. I have things to do and all that—I don't know.
After 6:00 p.m., I usually feel like doing nothing, with suicidal thoughts. So I decided to take another pill at noon and another at night, bringing my daily dose to 80 mg (the maximum, according to what I've read). For now, I feel better, but of course, I'm the one who adjusted the dose, and maybe the side effects will be worse.
My last psychiatry appointment was on May 13, and since I'm switching psychiatrists, I don't know when my next one is yet. I went to the emergency room, but the doctor who saw me was… let's just say he was an idiot and incompetent. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that increasing my dose won't end up making things worse and that I can get through these next few days.
I… don't know if I want to die right now. I have things to do and all that—I don't know.
