Hi people.
I've been lurking for a couple of months now, and i've finally decided to make a post, might as well leave some mark here right?
My name is Rachel, and i'm 19 and trans too, i was born to 2 neglectful and abusive parents, my mom and my dad, my dad would beat me over any slight misstep and i never was allowed to make a single mistake before getting brutally beaten, my mother would always support my father, and she'd use manipulation tactics and everyone in the family considered themselves the eternal victim, unaware of how much of a piece of shit they were.
I guess if i had to describe one theme of my life it'd be, getting cut short at every corner of life and being neglected and unloved. During primary i didn't have much friends, at some point that i don't remember i became the class clown and for the first time i started getting attention for being a delinquent, however eventually people got bored of me and it was probably the first time i felt empty. Gender Dysphoria started creeping up in between primary and high school, which made things even harder. I got bullied (physically, also got groped...) by someone in the first year of high school, at the end of the year i told the principal to which all he got was a displinary measure. Next year no one liked me and i had become an outcast for my entire time in high school. I withdrew into the internet more and more, wasting my life away, sometime when i turned 18 i started trying to better my life, i started going to trans events and trying to find new friends and such, unfortunately, my bpd was out of control and i ended up messing up every new friendship i had made. Eventually, i did something really crappy and then people permanently disliked me, after that i tried to better my life, i went to the psychiatrist for medication and was slowly starting to get better, now i could say i probably no longer have as massive bpd today as i did before which, is at least some progress. But it was too late, and at this point no one wanted to see me alive at all. Which i realized a couple of days ago.
So i give up. This is my mark i guess before i go, so...
I've been lurking for a couple of months now, and i've finally decided to make a post, might as well leave some mark here right?
My name is Rachel, and i'm 19 and trans too, i was born to 2 neglectful and abusive parents, my mom and my dad, my dad would beat me over any slight misstep and i never was allowed to make a single mistake before getting brutally beaten, my mother would always support my father, and she'd use manipulation tactics and everyone in the family considered themselves the eternal victim, unaware of how much of a piece of shit they were.
I guess if i had to describe one theme of my life it'd be, getting cut short at every corner of life and being neglected and unloved. During primary i didn't have much friends, at some point that i don't remember i became the class clown and for the first time i started getting attention for being a delinquent, however eventually people got bored of me and it was probably the first time i felt empty. Gender Dysphoria started creeping up in between primary and high school, which made things even harder. I got bullied (physically, also got groped...) by someone in the first year of high school, at the end of the year i told the principal to which all he got was a displinary measure. Next year no one liked me and i had become an outcast for my entire time in high school. I withdrew into the internet more and more, wasting my life away, sometime when i turned 18 i started trying to better my life, i started going to trans events and trying to find new friends and such, unfortunately, my bpd was out of control and i ended up messing up every new friendship i had made. Eventually, i did something really crappy and then people permanently disliked me, after that i tried to better my life, i went to the psychiatrist for medication and was slowly starting to get better, now i could say i probably no longer have as massive bpd today as i did before which, is at least some progress. But it was too late, and at this point no one wanted to see me alive at all. Which i realized a couple of days ago.
So i give up. This is my mark i guess before i go, so...
