• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
mimeiji

mimeiji

>_<
Mar 13, 2024
14
Here's my process:
- 8 hours or more fasting (from 4:30pm to 1:00am)
- 1000mg of paracetamol (1:00am)
- 30mg of meto (1:15am)
- while waiting, mix sn (1 and a half 1/8 cup of water and 1 spoon of sn) (unfortunately i only have those measuring baking spoons/cup)
- drink sn (2:00am)

Is this good enough? It's currently around 10:40pm, just writing down my letters now! Hopefully I won't be in a lot of pain cause the hotel I'm in isn't that soundproofed.

Edit: Just reread the bodyweight to sn ratio recommendation, turns out I only need a spoon of sn LOL
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: Xi-Xi, Unlucky777, Nefer and 19 others
58Alice85

58Alice85

Autogynephile
Aug 31, 2025
378
I hope you get what you want! Good luck!
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: CTB Dream, darksouls and mimeiji
Macedonian1987

Macedonian1987

Just a sad guy from Macedonia.
Oct 22, 2025
968
My advice to you is to get a precise weight scale before attempting. Too much SN can result in immediate nausea and vomiting most of the SN resulting in a failed attempt, too little SN might also cause a failed attempt or death with prolonged suffering.
There was a young woman from Brazil that took too little SN (she didn't have a precise measuring scale either) and because she ingested too little SN it took more than 40-50 minutes for her to lose consciousness.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Carryline, badatparties, Bluebunnysky and 5 others
D

Dark Mood

Member
Oct 3, 2025
72
Good luck on your journey
 
  • Love
  • Hugs
Reactions: darksouls and mimeiji
3FailedAttemptss

3FailedAttemptss

trans girl (`・ω・´)
Jan 22, 2025
239
I hope that you find peace, one way or the other ^-^
 
  • Love
  • Hugs
Reactions: darksouls, Ladyybugged and mimeiji
mimeiji

mimeiji

>_<
Mar 13, 2024
14
My advice to you is to get a precise weight scale before attempting. Too much SN can result in immediate nausea and vomiting most of the SN resulting in a failed attempt, too little SN might also cause a failed attempt or death with prolonged suffering.
There was a young woman from Brazil that took too little SN (she didn't have a precise measuring scale either) and because she ingested too little SN it took more than 40-50 minutes for her to lose consciousness.
Unfortunately I don't really have time to test anymore :( It's do or die for me now I used up all of my money for the hotel room (as well as for my last day earlier) Although I did have a weighing scale, I accidentally forgot it at my dorm
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Unlucky777 and darksouls
I

idiotmother

Arcanist
Mar 21, 2025
467
I think using 1 cup and more of Sn is way too much… I wish I knew what the proper amount was. I tried looking it up on here and I found one thread with someone talking about three tablespoons but again, I really don't know. You're not able to go to dorm and get the scale?
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: darksouls
Macedonian1987

Macedonian1987

Just a sad guy from Macedonia.
Oct 22, 2025
968
Unfortunately I don't really have time to test anymore :( It's do or die for me now I used up all of my money for the hotel room (as well as for my last day earlier) Although I did have a weighing scale, I accidentally forgot it at my dorm
I still insist of you reconsidering your decision. The amount of SN is of crucial importance.
 
  • Love
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: DeathSweetDeath, darksouls and mimeiji
mimeiji

mimeiji

>_<
Mar 13, 2024
14
I think using 1 cup and more of Sn is way too much… I wish I knew what the proper amount was. I tried looking it up on here and I found one thread with someone talking about three tablespoons but again, I really don't know. You're not able to go to dorm and get the scale?
1/8 cup is 3 tablespoons from what I searched up! And no unfortunately, my dorm is hours away TT
I still insist of you reconsidering your decision. The amount of SN is of crucial importance.
Thank you for your concern! But it is what it is unfortunately
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: 58Alice85, darksouls, Macedonian1987 and 1 other person
I

idiotmother

Arcanist
Mar 21, 2025
467
1/8 cup is 3 tablespoons from what I searched up! And no unfortunately, my dorm is hours away TT
Oh ok, did not know that. Best of luck to you then, I wish you peace and serenity.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: darksouls and Macedonian1987
darksouls

darksouls

Illuminated
May 10, 2025
3,341
I wish you the best, I hope you find relief from suffering 🫂:heart:
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: Alexandra_, Theresnoescape and StunningIntent
mimeiji

mimeiji

>_<
Mar 13, 2024
14
Here's my process:
- 8 hours or more fasting (from 4:30pm to 1:00am)
- 1000mg of paracetamol (1:00am)
- 30mg of meto (1:15am)
- while waiting, mix sn (1 and a half 1/8 cup of water and 1 spoon of sn) (unfortunately i only have those measuring baking spoons/cup)
- drink sn (2:00am)

Is this good enough? It's currently around 10:40pm, just writing down my letters now! Hopefully I won't be in a lot of pain cause the hotel I'm in isn't that soundproofed.

Edit: Just reread the bodyweight to sn ratio recommendation, turns out I only need a spoon of sn LOL
1:00am now! just drank my paracetamol
 
  • Love
Reactions: darksouls
Leyna

Leyna

I only paint in red now
Sep 28, 2024
120
I hope you find peace
 
  • Love
Reactions: mimeiji and darksouls
mimeiji

mimeiji

>_<
Mar 13, 2024
14
1:20am! drank 30mg of meto
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: 58Alice85, darksouls and danivodka5
danivodka5

danivodka5

Did I ever tell you the definition of Insanity?
Jul 9, 2025
22
Wishing you the best of all things.
 
  • Love
Reactions: darksouls and mimeiji
Macedonian1987

Macedonian1987

Just a sad guy from Macedonia.
Oct 22, 2025
968
Good luck. I hope you escape from whatever tormented you and made you to take this step, and be at peace.
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: Unlucky777, badatparties, darksouls and 1 other person
mimeiji

mimeiji

>_<
Mar 13, 2024
14
mixing my sn now! it looks like if someone whos hydrated pissed into a cup lol
 
  • Love
  • Hugs
Reactions: Kirkinator, Dark Mood, Macedonian1987 and 1 other person
Macedonian1987

Macedonian1987

Just a sad guy from Macedonia.
Oct 22, 2025
968
mixing my sn now! it looks like if someone whos hydrated pissed into a cup lol
I like how you still have your sense of humor right until the very end.
 
  • Love
Reactions: Oreki, WEIRDOOOXDDDD, Theresnoescape and 2 others
needwaytohell

needwaytohell

Member
Apr 2, 2025
60
Hope you find peace. Planning on doing something similar hoping to join your journey someday.
 
  • Love
Reactions: mimeiji and darksouls
mimeiji

mimeiji

>_<
Mar 13, 2024
14
I like how you still have your sense of humor right until the very end.
thank you! i don't have any beta blockers so the best i can do to not back out is to try and be funnyyy
currently just watching youtube now, but today was fun! i made sure to dress up prettily today and went out to get some cheesecake and some burger steak ^^ 18 minutes left aaa so worried
 
Last edited:
  • Love
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: Chairbed3, heydude56, Alexandra_ and 10 others
Macedonian1987

Macedonian1987

Just a sad guy from Macedonia.
Oct 22, 2025
968
thank you! i don't have any beta blockers so the best i can do to not back out is to try and be funnyyy
currently just watching youtube now, but today was fun! i made sure to dress up prettily today and went out to get some cheesecake and some burger steak ^^ 18 minutes left aaa so worried
I love eating cheesecakes a lot. They are so tasty, and for some reason in my country they are quite expensive. As for burger steaks I like them too, but I rarely eat them because they will make me gain weight :smiling: When my time comes to take my SN I will use benzos and meto. I'm having second thoughts about beta blockers as I don't want to overmedicate myself before taking my SN.
Have a safe journey, and I hope you end up in a much better place than this cruel world.:heart:
 
  • Love
Reactions: Unlucky777 and darksouls
Theresnoescape

Theresnoescape

Student
May 29, 2024
187
Good luck, I hope everything goes smoothly for you.
 
  • Love
Reactions: Macedonian1987 and darksouls
D

Dark Mood

Member
Oct 3, 2025
72
Thinking of you right now. Best wishes
 
  • Love
Reactions: darksouls
Irisse

Irisse

Art belongs to Maksn (on yt)
Sep 8, 2025
508
I wish you a peaceful and painless departure.
 
  • Love
Reactions: darksouls
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
48,118
I hope you find the peace you are searching for, I wish you the best.
 
  • Love
Reactions: darksouls
M

MissAbyss

Member
Jul 20, 2025
585
✨️ I wish you eternal peace ✨
 
  • Love
Reactions: darksouls and Kitsuné_
V

vig919

The difficulty factor is disappointing
Oct 13, 2025
72
I hope you find comfort 🕊️
 
  • Love
Reactions: darksouls
Macedonian1987

Macedonian1987

Just a sad guy from Macedonia.
Oct 22, 2025
968
I was thinking about @mimeiji . I wonder if he was successful, if he was successful, is he free from his suffering? I was thinking about his cbt the entire previous day because it was unique. He kept his sense of humor right to the end.
 
  • Love
Reactions: darksouls
Kitsuné_

Kitsuné_

Student
Sep 8, 2025
173
Impressive attitude.

I hope you are in an eternal rest now 🖤.
 
  • Love
Reactions: darksouls
NormallyNeurotic

NormallyNeurotic

Everything is going to be okay ⋅ he/him
Nov 21, 2024
930
I don't know of there is confirmation yet. I hope nothing was painful whatever the result was...
 
  • Love
  • Hugs
Reactions: darksouls and setspiritfree

Similar threads

Sphene
Replies
7
Views
739
Suicide Discussion
SDB
S
chaewon
Replies
27
Views
2K
Suicide Discussion
Kayla
Kayla
peacecomingsoon
Replies
90
Views
11K
Suicide Discussion
Serena fuga
Serena fuga
peacecomingsoon
Replies
16
Views
2K
Suicide Discussion
peacecomingsoon
peacecomingsoon