Venting feeling aimless

[ppurin]

hi, first post here. i'm not good at writing or introductions, i just want to say how i feel at the moment. i just feel so alone and i'm having a hard time finding my footing in life, i've always had a hard time doing so and i don't think i was ever on track to do anything significant with my life at all. i've never achieved anything great, even if i was on the right track to do so. i always end up self sabotaging one way or another. i can't remember a time in my life where i haven't felt horrible, i've felt this way for as long as i can remember. i thought i would CTB when i was 14 and attempted but was found too early, i'm 21 now and i don't know what i'm still doing here at all. i feel so stupid and selfish for saying all of this. i started doing content creation for fun sometime last year and somehow amassed a decent following, i recently starting dating a friend of mine that i enjoy being around but despite all of this attention, at the end of the day i feel so alone. i just feel so disconnected from it all, i feel less than human. i have a lot more on my mind but i can never seem to get any of the words out.. anyways, just wanted to share my feelings for once since i usually keep them to myself. thank you to anyone who reads my rambling, i hope tomorrow will be a better day.

 

[enjoytheride]

Hello! Kudos for sharing your story and your feelings. At the age of 21 it is not uncommon to feel aimless. It has been what, 14-15 years since you gained a more significant consciousness of your surroundings and life. You have to admit - this a tiny portion of time. It has probably been 3 years since you got out of high school. Don't be so hard on yourself, dear. You have to be kind enough to yourself and give yourself as many chances as necessary until you find that purpose and a direction in life. It is perfectly achievable.

I think that it is great that you are dating your friend. It is a step in the right direction. As long as the relationship is healthy and respectful, it can help you feel more human and make it easier for you to find your way in life.

You are transitioning from being a teenager to being an adult. While you are transitioning, you are adapting and it is normal to feel as if you are drifting in weightlessness. My advice would be to enrol into a university course, even if just part-time, if you are not doing that already and if you have the means. Finding volunteering opportunities around you is certainly a great way to meet new people, and most importantly prove to yourself you have value and are human (although you already have that value, but are struggling to see it).

If you are unhappy with your current job, if you are employed, changing to a different role or company could also help you, I would reckon.

Kind regards

 

[ppurin]

Hello! Kudos for sharing your story and your feelings. At the age of 21 it is not uncommon to feel aimless. It has been what, 14-15 years since you gained a more significant consciousness of your surroundings and life. You have to admit - this a tiny portion of time. It has probably been 3 years since you got out of high school. Don't be so hard on yourself, dear. You have to be kind enough to yourself and give yourself as many chances as necessary until you find that purpose and a direction in life. It is perfectly achievable.

I think that it is great that you are dating your friend. It is a step in the right direction. As long as the relationship is healthy and respectful, it can help you feel more human and make it easier for you to find your way in life.

You are transitioning from being a teenager to being an adult. While you are transitioning, you are adapting and it is normal to feel as if you are drifting in weightlessness. My advice would be to enrol into a university course, even if just part-time, if you are not doing that already and if you have the means. Finding volunteering opportunities around you is certainly a great way to meet new people, and most importantly prove to yourself you have value and are human (although you already have that value, but are struggling to see it).

If you are unhappy with your current job, if you are employed, changing to a different role or company could also help you, I would reckon.

Kind regards

thank you very much for your reply, i really appreciate you taking the time to do so. i've been thinking about enrolling in a few courses for a while now but i often get too scared at the last second. i went to community college as soon as i graduated highschool but ended up dropping out due to some big changes in my life and i just haven't been back since. i really want to go back but i have no idea why i am so terrified. i've been unemployed for the past few months as well, so i just sit at home practically all day, a prison of my own making basically.

i will consider your advice to try out at least one or two courses or do some volunteer work, i just want something that will give me a sense of fulfillment. again, i really appreciate you taking the time to say such kind and uplifting words.