Fading Away

[ShatteredRose]

I'm glad I was able to help you feel a bit better.

I wish it was a simple as "get over it" or "be happy!". It is scary how out of touch the general population is as far as severe depression and what it feels like to be going through a mental health crisis. Or how cold and uncaring people can be.

You use your coping mechanisms when you need to. There are very horribly frightening and excruciatingly painful times when coping mechanisms are all we have.

Have you given any more thought to seeking outside help?

If not, I understand. For all I know you've been down that road. Maybe you've been down that road many times.

Hello again.
my apologies for not responding ding sooner. I've been kind of hiding out if I'm being honest. It's something I do a lot more frequently and Ive been trying to work on it. You're so right. It is, and it makes me so sad. Watching my best friend many years ago fall down that path while no one believed him and thought he was asking for attention. Then we found out he had taken his life, so many people came out saying they wished they had helped more and could have been there for him, even though he reached out and they were given the opportunity. I want to say things are getting easier, but they aren't. I've been trying to work on the positives in my life, but they are quickly fading away, and I'm left with the distinct feeling of just waiting until it's the right time to go, waiting until I have all I need. As depressing as it sounds, I'm basically just waiting to die. That's very true. I use them at the worst of times. Usually at night, when it's dark and I have no where to hide from my demons. I have actually. I reached out to a friend who I don't speak to much as her life is really busy and we live in different cities. And as kind as she was about being supportive, she pretty much told me that I need to make changes in my life, and to write lists of what I need to change. She's a very lovely and motivational person, but our whole conversation revolved around her just saying I need to move on from the past, and that I can change my situation. Unfortunately I can't. The situation I'm in cannot be changed by me wishing it will. When I have no money to buy food, I have no idea where the money will come from to see my daughter. It was disappointing in truth. Not yet I didn't appreciate her help. I have been down that road a few times, and sometimes it has genuinely helped me a bit. Others not so much. I guess it depends… I'm hoping you are doing well. I know it's not much, but I also offer a listening shoulder to you if needed.

 

[ShatteredRose]

{Hug} to you, ShatteredRose

Thank you kindly. Hugs were actually a thing I really needed today.

 

[9BBN]

Thank you kindly. Hugs were actually a thing I really needed today.

How are you feeling today?

 

[ShatteredRose]

How are you feeling today?

I'm feeling okay. I've been in bed a lot more than I'd like to be lately. Not much sleeping or eating. How are you today?

 

[9BBN]

I'm feeling okay. I've been in bed a lot more than I'd like to be lately. Not much sleeping or eating. How are you today?

Remember to take care of yourself, and it's okay to be in bed. I'm doing alright, thanks, lost in thought lately.

 

[ShatteredRose]

Remember to take care of yourself, and it's okay to be in bed. I'm doing alright, thanks, lost in thought lately.

I will try, thank you. :) It's nice because my bed where I feel kind of safe, and where I can be. I hide it from most people around and at the end of the day, I can fall into bed and drop the fake smile. Oh, I can understand that. I've found myself there many times. If you'd ever like to talk or just share some thoughts, I am more than happy to listen and be there. I'd like to help you all as much you all have done for me. That first might I was on here… I was so close to just ending it all, and it I had at that point I'd have missed the kind words and compassion from you all. And those are things I have not seen enough of this world so my gratitude is endless. And I think everyone should feel cared about. We all deserve that.