ShatteredRose
Member
- Jul 12, 2021
- 21
Hello again.
my apologies for not responding ding sooner. I've been kind of hiding out if I'm being honest. It's something I do a lot more frequently and Ive been trying to work on it. You're so right. It is, and it makes me so sad. Watching my best friend many years ago fall down that path while no one believed him and thought he was asking for attention. Then we found out he had taken his life, so many people came out saying they wished they had helped more and could have been there for him, even though he reached out and they were given the opportunity. I want to say things are getting easier, but they aren't. I've been trying to work on the positives in my life, but they are quickly fading away, and I'm left with the distinct feeling of just waiting until it's the right time to go, waiting until I have all I need. As depressing as it sounds, I'm basically just waiting to die. That's very true. I use them at the worst of times. Usually at night, when it's dark and I have no where to hide from my demons. I have actually. I reached out to a friend who I don't speak to much as her life is really busy and we live in different cities. And as kind as she was about being supportive, she pretty much told me that I need to make changes in my life, and to write lists of what I need to change. She's a very lovely and motivational person, but our whole conversation revolved around her just saying I need to move on from the past, and that I can change my situation. Unfortunately I can't. The situation I'm in cannot be changed by me wishing it will. When I have no money to buy food, I have no idea where the money will come from to see my daughter. It was disappointing in truth. Not yet I didn't appreciate her help. I have been down that road a few times, and sometimes it has genuinely helped me a bit. Others not so much. I guess it depends… I'm hoping you are doing well. I know it's not much, but I also offer a listening shoulder to you if needed.
