Everyone looks better than me.

[Crematoryy]

I left home to hand in my resume in the big city where I live. I notice people's appearances and realize that most look better than me (especially those in the same age range as me). How did these people always know they had to take care of their appearance, and how do they manage it? Nothing can shake me more than seeing my reflection and knowing that I'm far from any expectation I could have created. I'm sitting on the floor while I write. I've given up looking for a job and will return to it tomorrow. All I feel now is the sludge of depression submerging me.

Emanuelly, I needed you at this moment, why did you decide to leave me?... I really needed you to survive. And now I'm fighting alone.

 

[posterchild]

Appearance isn't some fixed trait people are just born understanding. I come from a background where far too much value is based on looks… then when I moved and then again, the older I have gotten, the more I emphasise other traits in myself.

A lot of it is small routines, experimenting over time, money, confidence… even just having the energy to care. When you're depressed, even basic self-care can feel impossible.

I don't really know how to help you, but even just small things can make you feel more confident. For me it starts with taking a shower in the morning with a shower gel that smells nice. Blow drying my hair, brushing my teeth and flossing.
And for what it's worth, people who look "put together" usually didn't wake up that way naturally. I personally learned how to do makeup and hair and how to take care of skin with YouTube tutorials when I was younger. It's more of a routine thing now.

Then again, when I'm going through depressive periods, even brushing my teeth and going out feels like moving a mountain, but I try my best with whatever resources I have.

 

[Crematoryy]

Appearance isn't some fixed trait people are just born understanding. I come from a background where far too much value is based on looks… then when I moved and then again, the older I have gotten, the more I emphasise other traits in myself.

A lot of it is small routines, experimenting over time, money, confidence… even just having the energy to care. When you're depressed, even basic self-care can feel impossible.

I don't really know how to help you, but even just small things can make you feel more confident. For me it starts with taking a shower in the morning with a shower gel that smells nice. Blow drying my hair, brushing my teeth and flossing.
And for what it's worth, people who look "put together" usually didn't wake up that way naturally. I personally learned how to do makeup and hair and how to take care of skin with YouTube tutorials when I was younger. It's more of a routine thing now.

Then again, when I'm going through depressive periods, even brushing my teeth and going out feels like moving a mountain, but I try my best with whatever resources I have.

Thank you for your generous response. But you must have assumed that I am not practicing rudimentary self-care, such as proper hygiene, clean clothes, and similar things (I am). When I say "appearance," I mean aesthetic attractiveness. Which—most of the time—distinguishes whether you are desirable or undesirable. You are right when you say about the inability to practice self-care that depression causes. I have been in the process of self-improvement until I made my routine functional. I am looking for a job exclusively to have an income and modify my appearance, which I hate.

 

[tonicer]

All the clothes and hygiene doesn't help if your face is ... weird looking. I have the same issue but i accepted that i am just weird looking or even straight up ugly. I believe that acceptance of oneself is very important because it can lead to confidence. I hope you find a job that suits you. :)

 

[dandelion_fluff]

I totally understand how you feel. I don't like going outside because I see girls who look 100 times better than me. And they look so natural and effortlessly beautiful. I've cried many times over my unfortunate face and body. It's hard to accept how unfair the genetic lottery can be...

I see that you are on a journey of self-improvement. I wish you luck! I am currently trying to improve my looks too, I'm trying to lose weight, and I am thinking of getting lip filler, although my true obstacle is my nose and wide square jaw. Seriously, I look like a block. I am also trying to find a job, and with the money, maybe I can start saving up for lip filler or a gym membership. I would recommend that you don't get discouraged seeing others, although I know from firsthand experience that it is easier said than done. We are starting out on this process, but that doesn't mean we won't ever catch up. I hope you're able to get the job you want.