Venting Dysthymia is just a lobotomy

[spacefreightergirl]

I realized this now. I'm not just not a person but I am also not myself anymore. I tried, I really tried – tried picking up a book with piano in the background. It's corny but it's what I've always liked doing since I was a kid, I liked reading and I liked the piano. I don't anymore, I just found out. I don't care about the words on the page, I don't care about the sentences, the thoughts, whatever someone wrote down. I couldn't care less if it's beautiful or sad or anything, I don't care about the world that someone else made up in their head. I don't care and I don't want to know, I don't feel like knowing. The piano doesn't make me feel anything. At my worst moments it was the only sound that could comfort me, that would bring me back to earth and away from all the pain. It can't do that anymore. I don't feel anything from it anymore. I don't feel anything from nothing at all.

 

[SASU-KE]

Seems like anhedonia to me. It ramps up slowly.

I too have the same issue, the things I used to enjoy don't feel the same anymore.

 

[spacefreightergirl]

Seems like anhedonia to me. It ramps up slowly.

I too have the same issue, the things I used to enjoy don't feel the same anymore.

Yeah that's the word. When the depression started years ago it was already there but it's gotten worse and worse to the point it's reached everything that I've ever enjoyed. It's a sad way to live.

 

[SASU-KE]

Yeah that's the word. When the depression started years ago it was already there but it's gotten worse and worse to the point it's reached everything that I've ever enjoyed. It's a sad way to live.

It's pretty much the end of everything. That's how I feel myself. I just don't have interest in anything anymore.

Unfortunately it escalates so there will be a time when every single enjoyable thing dissappears from life.