Semi-vent (I don't know how to add the tag)I've struggled with being suicidal for half of my life due to my mother. Since I was 8 or 9, she's regularly cursed me out, talked shit about me to other people and my family, and threatened to kick me out, among many other things. She's emotionally abusive and neglectful to me, as well as being "absent" majority of the time. Being black, and African at that, I thought "She probably doesn't know because of her own traumas", so up until I was 15, I'd try to explain to her that what she was doing to me was hurting me and that she should stop if she wants me to be around her in the future. Each time I tried, she'd call me disrespectful and give me excuses instead of apologizing and doing better. Even in regular conversation, I have to walk on egg shells around her. Being worried she might actually kick me out now that she's legally able to, I've been making plans to move out, but I can't follow through with them since I still have to complete my last semester of high school, and I don't know how to ask her for my official documents. Even if those weren't problems, I have to rely on her for University tuition and I have an 8 year old sibling who lives with her. It feels like I'm under the thumb of a child.
