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Eternal Disaster

Eternal Disaster

IHaveDemonsInMyHead
Aug 3, 2025
29
My brain was some sort of different from others but my parents never gave a shit to it. Life kept on becoming worse and now my brain is fucked up.
 
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moribundwhispers

Student
Jul 1, 2025
150
i think it's because of my life tbh. and because of some mistakes i made that i don't think can be fixed.
really wish i could turn back the clock or start over and have another life
 
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S

Scythe

Lost in a delusion
Sep 5, 2022
655
Well my life could have gone better, but I wouldn't call it shitty objectively. I have skills that can get me a decent job...maybe...... I do have a family that would be willing to let me live with them even if I'm stuck at a min wage job.
It's shitty due to my mindspace. I wouldn't say I'm sick in the head either, I'm simply not exactly human. Therefore I won't fit into human society, and I don't want to live in this society. The main reason is really I hate working, I hate it enough to prefer death, and from my understanding this is not a rare opinion here. There is also the factor of me never truly belonging anywhere.
 
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tercermundista

tercermundista

Member
Apr 23, 2024
66
That's what I want to know...
I want to know if I'm suicidal because I'm a failure in every aspect of life, or if I would actually think differently if I had a better life. The problem is, I don't think I'll ever figure it out because I don't clearly see how to improve my life, and that makes me angry.
At least I'd like to have a normal life to find out if I still think everything is crap and be able to decide whether to live or die without regrets and without fear of feeling like I missed out.
 
SoulCage

SoulCage

Student
Dec 28, 2023
144
It's an interesting question. It seems simple on the face of it but, I don't think it is. Comparatively speaking, I probably don't have a shitty life. My health isn't too bad. Thanks to inheritance, I am able to live independently and I could afford to pursue the education I wanted and, more or less, eventually land the job I wanted. The things I don't have- close friendships and relationships, I have chosen to neglect.

But, I'm (obviously) not happy. I'm tired of working- even though it's what I wanted to do. I'm tired of the pressures of having to financially and practically sustain this life. Really then- it comes down to a question: 'Is it shitty to be expected to work to sustain life or, is that a reasonable expectation to put on someone?' Am I 'mentally ill' because I resent having to comply with this world?

In a weird way, I'm not so sure either apply to me. My life isn't excessively shitty- although I have a lot of shitty childhood baggage. I'm not convinced I'm mentally ill either. Not debilitatingly so anyway. I'm just tired mostly.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. They make me feel like I am also allowed to be upset about life despite my "actually good" circumstances. The same question pops in my head - am I really mentally ill because I see the world for what it is and because I am not able ignore and cope like most people. Like doctors and therapists try to hammer into me.
I really don't know how to answer it... And even answering won't help, because it won't change reality anyway.
 
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Dusk till dawn

Dusk till dawn

Experienced
Sep 7, 2018
256
Both, i was born with bad genetics so i am "sick in the head" i'm neurodivergent and had a bad life, and even if i didn't, i just don't see myself having a good life because i would screw it up, i would've 100% been a drug addict if i had access to those stuff, i couldn't develop social skills in a thousand years no matter how much i tried
 
ultradespair

ultradespair

Shut-in
Jul 25, 2025
42
Bullying gave me trauma which made me isolate completely and turn my life into shit, also not looking for help etc just made it worse and now I feel like its too late.
 
oatmeal.n

oatmeal.n

🇵🇱
Apr 28, 2025
58
I feel like a bad life is a huge reason why people want to CTB, is that the case for EVERYONE though? Think about it, if you had everything you ever wanted even if it's impossible or something in this current universe, imagine having the life you dreamed of. Would you still want to die? I think most peoples lives aren't good enough so it makes sense why people want to end it, I'm not saying that's a good thing just stating an observation. I want to die bc my shitty life gave me mental illness.
my life is average, i have no major trauma, i feel indifference to anything and everything, and i have access to therapy and medication. i don't see why i should be here. i have moments of enjoyment, but they don't last, like normal. i don't feel the need to build relationships with people, either i don't like them, they don't like me, or i don't like myself enough to befriend them. i find the society we like in to be severely flawed, and i feel like i have no autonomy. i don't enjoy nor hate anything, every once in a while im happy, but it doesn't last. i feel horribly average. im on antidepressants and neither my psychiatrist nor psychologist believe anything is significantly wrong with me (despite putting me on meds) im sick of everything. im sick of everyone's attitudes on me and life in general. i want to ctb just to die. no other reason. im waiting excitedly for the day i cease to be. i don't believe im sick in the head, nor is my life terrible. i don't know why i am the way i am, but im on here for a reason.
 
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qewpie

Member
Aug 3, 2025
6
i got incredibly sick and every day is pure pain can't even sleep
 
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mangoastronaut

mangoastronaut

Member
Aug 7, 2025
18
My life is pretty good. I come from a wealthy family, received an education, and am white passing. All the pain I endure comes from myself. Kinda pathetic. Makes my suffering seem like a privilege.
 
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Grog

Grog

Be good to yourself.
Jun 3, 2025
302
I think I became more and more sick in the head the more I had to endure suffering throughout my childhood. It's both.
 
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_Maya

_Maya

Maybe tomorrow.
Jan 26, 2025
134
I don't know if i'd say i have a shitty life, but its not good either.
I'm ugly, I'm incompetent, i'm very lonely and have only 1 person i feel i can be myself with, i don't have any real talents.
I'm beyond saving, it'd take a literal miracle to make everything good.
 
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Pluto

Pluto

Cat Extremist
Dec 27, 2020
5,436
life-coach
 
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AdaGravesEdelGrab

AdaGravesEdelGrab

Ada Graves
Jun 7, 2025
1
Im both really autistic and a tranny, my whole life has been shit, I've already tried killing myself but failed, now that I lost all my friends and the person who I thought loved me turned out to be pretending this whole time I'm ready to actually catch the bus this time
 
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