Does anyone on here doubting the existence of true love?

[ThatStateOfMind]

As I sit here, lonely and doubting a lot currently, I wonder if anyone here believes in true love. I did, until my heart was crushed and now I don't. I don't really talk to women that aren't my family anymore as I doubt I could handle that pain again, it led me to a failed attempt last time. I still have so much from my ex that I can't bring myself to get rid of. Notes, paintings, gifts, and probably the worst of it, 2 big ass signs I held up to support her at a school event (she was in color guard and we made the signs together) that I have on my wall. I tried to take them down once but began crying pretty intensely.

Anyways, as a result of this heartbreak and not being able to let go, I don't know if I believe that true love exists, anyone else here feel the same?

 

[Unwr!tten]

Sadly? Unfortunately? I still hopelessly believe in true love. Idk why, maybe it's my brain trying to keep me happy and safe but I think on it a lot when I disassociate.

 

[unplug]

The way I see it, it's better to have loved then to have never loved at all.

 

[Misery99]

Sorry to hear about your heartbreak experience I also used to think about fairy tale romance but I got heartbroken because the person I trusted turned out to be an evil and heartless liar. He used me and ghosted me. Deleted me from social media too because he wanted to be faithful to his new woman. I wish I never met that selfish evil monster.

 

[awaitinglove]

i totally get what you mean. it's hard to believe love exists when the person you love the most hurts you.

 

[Going]

As I sit here, lonely and doubting a lot currently, I wonder if anyone here believes in true love. I did, until my heart was crushed and now I don't. I don't really talk to women that aren't my family anymore as I doubt I could handle that pain again, it led me to a failed attempt last time. I still have so much from my ex that I can't bring myself to get rid of. Notes, paintings, gifts, and probably the worst of it, 2 big ass signs I held up to support her at a school event (she was in color guard and we made the signs together) that I have on my wall. I tried to take them down once but began crying pretty intensely.

Anyways, as a result of this heartbreak and not being able to let go, I don't know if I believe that true love exists, anyone else here feel the same?

I think true love can exist between two beautiful people. Your appearance is a reflection of your essence, the way I see it. So yes, it does, but not many will experience it.

 

[Deleted member 60002]

I'm not even sure what true love is. What makes one love ordinary and another true? Seems like a silly concept to me.

 

[Sammie_com.sanrio]

Me too

 

[innominesatanas44]

When your dating pool is 3% of the population, then add age, location, personality and looks on top of that, then, yeah, it's doubtable. Just bullshit concept. Heartbreak and relationships suck ass, hopefully you'll be able to find someone good

 

[NoLoveNoHope]

As I sit here, lonely and doubting a lot currently, I wonder if anyone here believes in true love. I did, until my heart was crushed and now I don't. I don't really talk to women that aren't my family anymore as I doubt I could handle that pain again, it led me to a failed attempt last time. I still have so much from my ex that I can't bring myself to get rid of.

Exactly my story, I was giving up on life before it anyway and decided to give it one last shot, too bad I didn't get to live my envisioned future.

I've vowed to myself to never love someone again or get too close to anyone.

 

[Darkover]

never get too attached to anyone unless they also feel the same towards you,
because one sided expectations can mentally destory you
love is the most powerful drug

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Sadly? Unfortunately? I still hopelessly believe in true love. Idk why, maybe it's my brain trying to keep me happy and safe but I think on it a lot when I disassociate.

I was and still kinda am the same. I'm just now beginning to doubt it. I said I don't yesterday but that was a bit of a lie.

The way I see it, it's better to have loved then to have never loved at all.

sometimes I agree, I guess at least I had something that I loved enough for it to hurt when it's gone.

Sorry to hear about your heartbreak experience I also used to think about fairy tale romance but I got heartbroken because the person I trusted turned out to be an evil and heartless liar. He used me and ghosted me. Deleted me from social media too because he wanted to be faithful to his new woman. I wish I never met that selfish evil monster.

She still talks to me as a friend behind her boyfriend's back :/, odd situation for me tho. I hope you heal well, and I'm sorry you went through that.

i totally get what you mean. it's hard to believe love exists when the person you love the most hurts you.

Yeah, it felt like I was gutted honestly when I found out she flirted with someone who convinced her to break up with me.

When your dating pool is 3% of the population, then add age, location, personality and looks on top of that, then, yeah, it's doubtable. Just bullshit concept. Heartbreak and relationships suck ass, hopefully you'll be able to find someone good

I hope everyone here is able to find someone good, maybe it could save a few lives.

Exactly my story, I was giving up on life before it anyway and decided to give it one last shot, too bad I didn't get to live my envisioned future.

I've vowed to myself to never love someone again or get too close to anyone.

I haven't lost hope in relationships yet, for now though, I guess I should work on myself. Best revenge is a life well-lived I guess.

never get too attached to anyone unless they also feel the same towards you,
because one sided expectations can mentally destory you
love is the most powerful drug

I think she did once feel the same way, we both got toxic in the end but she did something I'm having a hard time forgiving her for because it will leave me with trust issues for a while. She cheated on me (albeit on a very small scale, flirting for 3 or so days, but it still hurt a lot).



I wanna apologize for not replying to everyone, i felt my replies might seem repetitive if I did.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Love only exists in the honeymoon phase.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Love only exists in the honeymoon phase.

Certainly can agree with that, as the honeymoon phase ended, so did our love, it seemed to practically dissipate. We both weren't the best for each other but for her to cheat, that's what hurt the most and she knows it hurt me, I think that's why she's trying to stick around, to try and make some sort of reparation or something. No clue honestly

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes but I haven't found it. I've had a few rounds of limerance- obsessive and unrequited crushes on people. I think my parents were in love. Seeing as I have their genes, I think I had the potential for it but I can't really trust myself- I just become obsessed with people and it's never reciprocated. I've reached a point where I kind of know I'm better off alone. Sometimes I'm sad because I think I had the potential to love very deeply. I think I would have been happier if I had shared my life. There again- I'm so sick of loss and I don't think I could get over having my heart broken. Realistically- I'm probably better off as I am.

I'm sorry you've had this experience. I do hope in time- you will be able to put it behind you. Sadly though- I'd say this likely will take a long time and a concerted effort to not think about them in that way. Really- cutting them off from your life sometimes seems best too. Otherwise- it just niggles- like a splinter. I'm pretty sure it took me 3 years just to fully get over a crush! (Pathetic I know.) So- it could be kind of rough for quite a while. I'm sorry.

 

[endless_pain]

I believe true love exists, but coming from an abusive household, it's very much difficult to create real connections and most of all give me the opportunity to do it.
There are a lot of predators and narcissistic people, the covert ones are the most insidious, they manipulate people trying to please their victim with what they want and then hurt them

 

[stermc]

I believe love exists, but not in the romantic way we usually imagine it to be. It's not endless and it certainly does not endure anything. Just like any other feeling and sensation, love can turn into something else and it's not linear.

I do believe, though, that the way this society works, the tendencies are always to hurt the ones you love, because love itself is not enough to keep a relationship and things like communication, real depth, loyalty and respect are just not the main values in people's lives (and that's why so many interpersonal interactions or relationships are so "liquid", superficial and meaningless nowadays)

 

[Forest Fire]

I had five years of it before i fucked it up. Never made an effort to get with anyone else as i'm still not over her and no one has ever meant anything to me since. I still have all the letters and paintings she did for me but they are in bags in my garage.

 

[depressedlover]

I believe true love exists because i have felt and experienced it.Infact it still reigns beyond death.

 

[Gavalar]

I just screwed up with someone who really did love me.
She tried not to give up but I wasn't the best boyfriend.
Whenever we would argue, I would say things I didn't mean and now I really regret it.

Please people, don't be an asshole like me to people who love you.

She did truly care for me and I threw it l away.

 

[Octavia]

I believe that it does exist out there, even though it is not really intended for me.

 

[Source Energy]

The way I see it, it's better to have loved then to have never loved at all.

No way. I'd take never having loved at all over having my heart shattered in million pieces any day. I would have been better off not knowing the meaning of unconditional love, not knowing how it feels to love someone more than anything in the world. It is not worth the pain. These are platitudes.

 

[wastingpotential]

i believe it exists but it's never been for me. i've looked for it in every direction and had people i wanted to love endlessly but i was never enough for them or they found better people in the end

 

[TheSpookyNameGuy]

I personally don't know what love actually is, never felt what it's supposed to be, warmth, tingles, happiness?

Fuck man i have no clue, so personally nah its all silly in my eyes

 

[UsagiDrop]

I think it does exist. But I also know the harsh reality is that it just doesn't exist for everyone. It doesn't have to be romantic love either, but there are some of us who will just never find it in any way in this life for a number of factors and reasons both within and far out of our control. Some of us will find it once and lose that person (or those people) and never have it again. Some of us will think they've found it and live like that, and very few of us will actually find it and have it forever. A lot of us have people and pets that care for us, so it has to exist. Almost all of us have certainly felt true love toward someone too, I would say. The question is, will someone feel true love back toward you? And if they do, but they're not what you're looking for or not someone that you can like, will you still be willing to reciprocate that kind of love for them? Will it even matter?

Sometimes, I kind of wish I didn't believe it could exist and work for me because my relationship with my fiancé is one of the things that's unfortunately keeping me alive. I feel true love for them, so I keep on living and keep on supporting them despite wanting to step out of this life. Other times, when they show me how they don't truly love me back, I feel like it really doesn't exist for me and I'm just fooling myself into thinking it could. My illness and sadness are driving us apart, as I expected it to, and they don't have to stay and share a life with me when I don't even know why I'm living my own life. It'll hurt like hell but it's like I'm trapped just watching our train derail, crash and burn— I can't stop it. When they finally let me go, I can also finally let me go lol. My friends and family probably do truly love me but they will move on and I'm not as worried about them. Losing someone you're romantically in love with seems to hit a little harder.

 

[NorthernMonkey]

True love does exist but it doesn't last forever. The thought of meeting your soul mate and staying together happily ever after isn't realistic. Best to accept that love is fleeting and enjoy it for the time it lasts. Unfortunately we don't do that, we cling on to unhealthy relationships, refusing to accept it is over. Or try to convince ourselves it will get better. Or we want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with us. Or we mistake lust for love. If we wasted less time in bad relationships, we would be more likely to experience true love. Or maybe that's just me :)

 

[LONE WOLF.]

I once believed in love but soon realized that it was a very short fairytale, Every person that l've gotten close to has on me eventually, the world is a cold and vain place where ugly people like me don't belong! That's why I chose Dog's over Humans,Dog's are loyal People are Not! I will disappear from this nightmare realm soon, l just have a few more things to sort out before this can leave the pack

 

[SexyIncél]

Yes, I believe "true love" exists, depending on definition. You can PM me for my personal evidence, for your scrutiny

Is "unending" one attribute? Then I believe I've seen it from one couple. I've interviewed them to steal their discoveries, so I can love like them. They got together at 13, when it's harder for people to lie. They consense on decisions. One opines that it's basically about luck. They don't know others like them. I can tell you more about them, if asked

I think it's helpful to:

• know what you want from someone
• have experiences creating and modifying social structures
• have a good simple concept of "love"
• experiment, be willing to do things that shock loudmouths, treat not so great companions as practice
• meet lots of people, trying to help them

I've written more specifics in earlier comments, and can expand further. In some ways it's probably simpler than some might think. But even simple things are still a bit complicated

There's a luck component. But depending on what you're able and willing to do, hopefully some of your actions can make up for luck

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Yes but I haven't found it. I've had a few rounds of limerance- obsessive and unrequited crushes on people. I think my parents were in love. Seeing as I have their genes, I think I had the potential for it but I can't really trust myself- I just become obsessed with people and it's never reciprocated. I've reached a point where I kind of know I'm better off alone. Sometimes I'm sad because I think I had the potential to love very deeply. I think I would have been happier if I had shared my life. There again- I'm so sick of loss and I don't think I could get over having my heart broken. Realistically- I'm probably better off as I am.

I'm sorry you've had this experience. I do hope in time- you will be able to put it behind you. Sadly though- I'd say this likely will take a long time and a concerted effort to not think about them in that way. Really- cutting them off from your life sometimes seems best too. Otherwise- it just niggles- like a splinter. I'm pretty sure it took me 3 years just to fully get over a crush! (Pathetic I know.) So- it could be kind of rough for quite a while. I'm sorry.

I don't know how long it will take me. I was pretty attached but I've made big strides in the ~4.5 months since we broke up. To be completely honest, I cried every night for the first 2 weeks or so, maybe longer. I've gotten over crushes very easy for me but heartbreaks are a different beast for me.

I had five years of it before i fucked it up. Never made an effort to get with anyone else as i'm still not over her and no one has ever meant anything to me since. I still have all the letters and paintings she did for me but they are in bags in my garage.

Damn, I relate. I feel like I fucked it up too, even though she cheated on me, I feel like maybe if I had been better and did things differently, maybe it wouldn't have happened. I have her letters on my nightstand and in a keepsake box. I have some of her paintings on my wall, she made them for me and I don't want them messed up. They're actually quite pleasant to look at and I don't feel much hurt when I look at them, hence why they're not hidden and the notes are as the notes are the complete opposite for me. I know she kept all the notes and stuff I made her as well, she keeps them in a keepsake box in her room and she has drawings I made her. She's even kept the ones I made years before we were together (and she had a crush on me), so at least I know I'm not the only one holding onto the past.

I just screwed up with someone who really did love me.
She tried not to give up but I wasn't the best boyfriend.
Whenever we would argue, I would say things I didn't mean and now I really regret it.

Please people, don't be an asshole like me to people who love you.

She did truly care for me and I threw it l away.

I second this, please treat your partners and lovers with kindness and don't push them away when they try to help, because one day, they might leave for good. That's what happened to me. She still cares for me I'm sure, but it's on a lesser capacity.

I think it does exist. But I also know the harsh reality is that it just doesn't exist for everyone. It doesn't have to be romantic love either, but there are some of us who will just never find it in any way in this life for a number of factors and reasons both within and far out of our control. Some of us will find it once and lose that person (or those people) and never have it again. Some of us will think they've found it and live like that, and very few of us will actually find it and have it forever. A lot of us have people and pets that care for us, so it has to exist. Almost all of us have certainly felt true love toward someone too, I would say. The question is, will someone feel true love back toward you? And if they do, but they're not what you're looking for or not someone that you can like, will you still be willing to reciprocate that kind of love for them? Will it even matter?

Sometimes, I kind of wish I didn't believe it could exist and work for me because my relationship with my fiancé is one of the things that's unfortunately keeping me alive. I feel true love for them, so I keep on living and keep on supporting them despite wanting to step out of this life. Other times, when they show me how they don't truly love me back, I feel like it really doesn't exist for me and I'm just fooling myself into thinking it could. My illness and sadness are driving us apart, as I expected it to, and they don't have to stay and share a life with me when I don't even know why I'm living my own life. It'll hurt like hell but it's like I'm trapped just watching our train derail, crash and burn— I can't stop it. When they finally let me go, I can also finally let me go lol. My friends and family probably do truly love me but they will move on and I'm not as worried about them. Losing someone you're romantically in love with seems to hit a little harder.

Yeah I imagine it's quite painful to live as a martyr for someone else. I hope things improve for you.

Yes, I believe "true love" exists, depending on definition. You can PM me for my personal evidence, for your scrutiny

Is "unending" one attribute? Then I believe I've seen it from one couple. I've interviewed them to steal their discoveries, so I can love like them. They got together at 13, when it's harder for people to lie. They consense on decisions. One opines that it's basically about luck. They don't know others like them. I can tell you more about them, if asked

I think it's helpful to:

• know what you want from someone
• have experiences creating and modifying social structures
• have a good simple concept of "love"
• experiment, be willing to do things that shock loudmouths, treat not so great companions as practice
• meet lots of people, trying to help them

I've written more specifics in earlier comments, and can expand further. In some ways it's probably simpler than some might think. But even simple things are still a bit complicated

There's a luck component. But depending on what you're able and willing to do, hopefully some of your actions can make up for luck

Yeah these things are often seemingly more complex than they are I suppose. My relationship failed due to one huge component, a healthy cog in any relationship, missing. Communication. If we communicated more, I believe we would still be together. As someone who lives in an evangelical state. I've seen my fair share of relationships that began fairly young and still together. I know a couple from when I was in high school that got together in 6th grade and are still together today.

 

[SexyIncél]

I've seen my fair share of relationships that began fairly young and still together. I know a couple from when I was in high school that got together in 6th grade and are still together today.

Have you observed any couples that you'd consider "true love"? I'm guessing your definition's strong enough to exclude "lifelong relationships". Into "soulmate" territory

Hmm maybe the question isn't about the relationship itself, but in finding The One? That is, someone you can joyfully explore the universe with for a lifetime? Those exist. I'm not sure it's feasible to convert someone who's definitely NOT the-one into the-one. In the very first conversation with someone, it may be very apparent if she's potentially the-one