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StrawberryRed

StrawberryRed

🌺🌺
Oct 16, 2024
91
I feel like there is smthn wrong w me cause I really dont care about other people. I have no intrest in conversations or getting to know other people better. I just find the work that goes into having a conversationn not really worth it. I dont really want to meet new people, i only do it cause I feel like thats what Im supposed to be doing. Even with the people in my life, even people I talk to daily, I just dont feel much for them. If i were to never see anybody I currently know ever again, I dont think I would care.

Sometimes I feel like I might be lonely but then I realized that I only care about other people judging me for my lifestyle, Im actually just feeling shame not loneliness. I even go out of my way to avoid people and if I start spending to much time w someone I immediatly want to cut them off to perserve my lifestyle. Thats when people say that to stop being depressed you have to meet new people, make new friends, I just get confused. Why would adding stress to my life ever possibly make me feel better. I ve had lots of frineds and Ive had none, either way I still want to die. It all feels the same, more people just make thing more complicated. Hahaha I sound so emo.
 
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Reactions: eggsausagerice, Forever Sleep and stopMotionSickness
stopMotionSickness

stopMotionSickness

weird bozo
Mar 2, 2026
63
good lord I could've written every word of this lol. After getting out of my way to do things though, I find there's definitely a type of person that's more invested in things/shared interests than people/themselves. They might be the kinda autistic people, granted, but idk I feel like they're worth it. And upon reflection of how rich my friendships are for it, I don't think it's "something wrong" with wanting that. You'll have a bit less acquaintances/casual friends, but the friends you do end up making will be a lot richer for pursuing conversations about things you're actually interested in.
The key imo is to really go into things with the main goal of doing something/getting involved with something. Like if you're passionate about helping the homeless, volunteer at a kitchen. If you'd like helping animals, volunteer at a shelter. In my experience, trying to pursue your interests will naturally bring you to people you'll feel more in touch with. Plus, because their main interest will be doing that same thing, the pressure of showing up for them won't come up as much.
 
Groundhog_Day

Groundhog_Day

Student
Dec 5, 2023
155
Sorry if this is bad to mention, i'm not trying to diagnose you. But have you heard of schizoid personality disorder?

"It's a chronic mental health condition characterized by pervasive pattern of social detachment, limited emotional expression and a preference for isolation. Individuals with SPD rarely desire close relatiinships, including family, and appear indifferent to praise or criticism."

I have avoidant personality disorder. It's similar to SPD, but with avpd you do have a strong desire for social connection, but feel so inferior and ashamed of yourself, isolation is the less painful option.
 
J

Johny89

Member
May 13, 2020
30
Sorry if this is bad to mention, i'm not trying to diagnose you. But have you heard of schizoid personality disorder?

"It's a chronic mental health condition characterized by pervasive pattern of social detachment, limited emotional expression and a preference for isolation. Individuals with SPD rarely desire close relatiinships, including family, and appear indifferent to praise or criticism."

I have avoidant personality disorder. It's similar to SPD, but with avpd you do have a strong desire for social connection, but feel so inferior and ashamed of yourself, isolation is the less painful option.
Oh interesting. I'm superficially acquainted with most personality disorders but despite having heard about both of these PDs you describe here I wasn't too familiar with them. I only remember schizoid PD usually featuring very elaborate inner fantasy worlds.
 
P

PanaxMan

Experienced
Apr 11, 2023
245
I feel like there is smthn wrong w me cause I really dont care about other people. I have no intrest in conversations or getting to know other people better. I just find the work that goes into having a conversationn not really worth it. I dont really want to meet new people, i only do it cause I feel like thats what Im supposed to be doing. Even with the people in my life, even people I talk to daily, I just dont feel much for them. If i were to never see anybody I currently know ever again, I dont think I would care.

Sometimes I feel like I might be lonely but then I realized that I only care about other people judging me for my lifestyle, Im actually just feeling shame not loneliness. I even go out of my way to avoid people and if I start spending to much time w someone I immediatly want to cut them off to perserve my lifestyle. Thats when people say that to stop being depressed you have to meet new people, make new friends, I just get confused. Why would adding stress to my life ever possibly make me feel better. I ve had lots of frineds and Ive had none, either way I still want to die. It all feels the same, more people just make thing more complicated. Hahaha I sound so emo.
Pretty much a clone of myself. It's more of my life situation for me. I wasnt able to keep up with the bare minimum of where I used to grow up causing such a huge rift in social skills and standing. My friends just disappeared due to my own life circumstances and Not because I don't want them to. Moving to another state didn't help as my family grew in economic status (a fucking facade). This drew me into depression as the gap got wider and wider and I just gave up. The place is a very nice place with great people but people my age aren't the too friendliest especially as you go up the economic ladder.
 

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