Does anyone feel lonely and if you do how do you cope with it?

[Sundayafternoon]

I don't know if I am happy to be alone or not. I am afraid of getting judged for basically anything in my life and avoiding people avoids being judged and I can live my life the way I want to without explaining myself. But I still feel lonely often and wish I had at least a few people to talk to but I tend to push others away anyway.

This is my issue. I like being alone but i like the company of like minded individuals. If i manage to someone i get a long with, it's only a matter of time i push them away. Or I'll convince myself they never liked or cared for me on the first place. And i leave before they can leave me.

 

[JustAboutDone]

This is my issue. I like being alone but i like the company of like minded individuals. If i manage to someone i get a long with, it's only a matter of time i push them away. Or I'll convince myself they never liked or cared for me on the first place. And i leave before they can leave me.

Sounds as if you are scared of being "abandoned" if that makes sense xx

 

[Sundayafternoon]

I don't know if I am happy to be alone or not. I am afraid of getting judged for basically anything in my life and avoiding people avoids being judged and I can live my life the way I want to without explaining myself. But I still feel lonely often and wish I had at least a few people to talk to but I tend to push others away anyway.

This is my issue. I like being alone i think. I've always spent most of time alone. but i like the company of like minded individuals. But in comes thd toxic environment. i manage to someone i get a long with, it's only a matter of time i push them away. Or I'll convince myself they never liked or cared for me on the first place. And i leave before they can leave me. All in out of fear of being rejected or judged due to my existence.

Even though I have friends and people round me I've felt alone since I was a small child because if you grow up in a toxic, violent environment it takes away 'normal' for you and you just don't feel the same as everyone else. I don't feel that anyone will ever know me and how I feel so I guess even when I'm with people I'm always lonely.

 

[JustAboutDone]

This is my issue. I like being alone i think. I've always spent most of time alone. but i like the company of like minded individuals. But in comes thd toxic environment. i manage to someone i get a long with, it's only a matter of time i push them away. Or I'll convince myself they never liked or cared for me on the first place. And i leave before they can leave me. All in out of fear of being rejected or judged due to my existence.

For those of us that never had any kind of good models to show us loving behaviour and proper social interaction and that we were valued when we were small it is so damn hard xxxx

 

[azucaramargo]

I'm on such a high dose of antidepressants it has completely abated the feeling of loneliness, tried quitting this summer and when the loneliness came back I jumped right back on it, I really had to, I wouldn't be able to function otherwise :/

Just out of curiosity, why did you want to quit the antidepressants if they were working so well? Do you mind sharing the type of antidepressant and the dose. Feel free to PM, if you don't feel like advertising.

 

[azucaramargo]

For those of us that never had any kind of good models to show us loving behaviour and proper social interaction and that we were valued when we were small it is so damn hard xxxx

For those of us that never had any kind of good models to show us loving behaviour and proper social interaction and that we were valued when we were small it is so damn hard xxxx

Very true, Just About Done. My therapist says the same damned thing!

 

[azucaramargo]

Sounds as if you are scared of being "abandoned" if that makes sense xx

That's my issue, too. GD it! So alienating!

 

[JustAboutDone]

Very true, Just About Done. My therapist says the same damned thing!

I'm such a sadsack but that's why I love my dog! Wish I'd had one as a child, at least then I would have had a little consistent love and loyalty

 

[azucaramargo]

I force myself to go to spend time with people. There's a website I use which is made for like-minded people to organise meetups and hang out together, so everything is pre-organised by other people and it's just a matter of turning up (there's no obligation for me to go/I wouldn't let anyone down if I didn't go).

Sometimes it works out and I have a great night where I want to stay for hours, but more recently I've gone for maybe like two hours and decided that's enough for me. I guess it's the effort that counts?

BaconCheeseburger, you seem to have the healthiest, stand-up-for-yourself attitude. I've really been inspired reading your posts. Each little slice of your life reveals such bravery. And, I just think that's great.

 

[Psilo]

I just play guitar when I feel lonely.

Enjoy what you actually have, not the things you wished you had.

 

[Cromulus]

I'm on such a high dose of antidepressants it has completely abated the feeling of loneliness, tried quitting this summer and when the loneliness came back I jumped right back on it, I really had to, I wouldn't be able to function otherwise :/

What type and dosage if I may ask??

 

[lost illusions]

How do I cope? First I'm on discord, if I can't talk to my friend, help or make someone happy, then I come here talk make people smile, pissed off, or post something. after that, I think about leaving

 

[azucaramargo]

I'm not the best person to answer this question. I eat, drink, take wherever will put me sleep. Im just now realizing sex isn't a good option either. I feel more lonesome afterwards.

Try to read a book. Stsrt a journal. Anything you lose yourself in alone.

SundayAfternoon, I'm kind of battling a sex addiction, too. I'm glad you have come to some sort of resolution with yours. It does make one feel bad afterwards. Just wanted to give you a shout out.

 

[ReadyasEver]

Lonely is a relevant term for me. I still have a lot of people in my life, one's who do truly care. They do help at times, but bring some comfort and love to my life. But, they really do not know and understand the despair and pain with experiencing enduring mental illness, personality disorders, PTSD or terminal disease. My loneliness comes from no one being able to truly relate to my own personal circumstance. They try to understand or relate, but most attempts fall short.

 

[Dead Meat]

I guess I don't cope with it very well as that's one of the long lists of problems of why I'm on here.

 

[Sweet emotion]

I'm forced to be alone due to a painful medical condition. I read a lot and watch a lot of TV so it feels like someone is with me. 14 years in solitary confinement.

 

[azucaramargo]

I feel lonely everyday. How do I cope? I don't.
I worry i will get lonelier.

Getting outside is the most important step. One of the best pieces of advice I ever received: "Staying in your hotel room will get you nothing." I don't know. It made so much sense at the time. Of all my problems, staying inside solved nothing.

Also, MeetUp.com is GREAT for socialization. I hate when people tell me to volunteer, but yes volunteering is a great way to meet people and feel useful. Learn to play pool(billiards? snooker? ).

Important is to follow people who mostly post about their interests and less about their personal lives

This is a good tip! Thank you!

 

[TearyEyedQueen]

Honestly I still haven't figured the perfect mechanism for coping with this.
I know browsing the internet helps and I'm currently trying to make small talk at uni though it's really awkward...

 

[StillWaiting]

Honestly I still haven't figured the perfect mechanism for coping with this.
I know browsing the internet helps and I'm currently trying to make small talk at uni though it's really awkward...

Small talk ?

 

[TearyEyedQueen]

Small talk ?

I'm not a native english speaker so I guess I used the wrong expression lol. What I meant is those little conversations about your day or the weather or the newest celebrity rumour or something that isn't considered "meaningful" or "private".

 

[StillWaiting]

I'm not a native english speaker so I guess I used the wrong expression lol. What I meant is those little conversations about your day or the weather or the newest celebrity rumour or something that isn't considered "meaningful" or "private".

Well at least you are able to approach others. That's a good thing I guess.