Does anyone feel like the bullies have won

[Tintypographer]

I feel like America has a resurgence of the bully. The mega jock, jerk mean girl bully who led by fear was coming slide to being marginalized. We had allowed people to be proud of their sexuality no matter who they were, you could be an artist and expect that someone was an atheist but was accepted. Bullying and hate crimes were becoming the worst form of behavior and the me too movement was trying to mean something. It's like the bullies realized they were in danger of becoming as irrelevant as Willy Loman and his athlete son's in death of a salesman.

And the bullies rallied and became a strong movement to ensure that the status remains. In fact they need victims so bad that there is a desire to ensure that catching the bus is not allowed. You can't have a society of strong and weak if the weak are allowed to die of their own choice and potentially become martyrs.

Remember that you are actually strong and no one can claim you took a cowards way out when the choice is completely yours to make!

 

[noaccount]

Yes I feel this a lot.

 

[Sweet Release]

Well, whilst my situation is different than the one you described I certainly wonder if the bullies in my life have won.

The bullying I had made me determined to prove them wrong and whilst that might sound like positive motivation it actually was incredibly damaging as I became more and more desperate to prove something and that pretty much lead to my life collapsing.

Now that I am broken and looking the SN I ordered online for an overdose I think about all the times I was put down (either verbally or physically) and all the times I picked myself back up again and I wonder if the effort and determination was worth it.
It seems like the battle has already been lost.

 

[Pryras]

I know what you mean and yes it can feel that way and I definitely agree with the last statement. It's not cowardly and the choice is extremely personal to make. While I can't say I've been targeted for bullying over the years, I still feel that I'm allowing the behaviour of others to impact me to the extent that they do. I'm an extremely emotional being and I take in everything a lot heavier than most people. I can't control It and I absorb the comments and believe them.

 

[Meowkin]

I feel like America has a resurgence of the bully. The mega jock, jerk mean girl bully who led by fear was coming slide to being marginalized. We had allowed people to be proud of their sexuality no matter who they were, you could be an artist and expect that someone was an atheist but was accepted. Bullying and hate crimes were becoming the worst form of behavior and the me too movement was trying to mean something. It's like the bullies realized they were in danger of becoming as irrelevant as Willy Loman and his athlete son's in death of a salesman.

And the bullies rallied and became a strong movement to ensure that the status remains. In fact they need victims so bad that there is a desire to ensure that catching the bus is not allowed. You can't have a society of strong and weak if the weak are allowed to die of their own choice and potentially become martyrs.

Remember that you are actually strong and no one can claim you took a cowards way out when the choice is completely yours to make!

I don't think ctb is a coward's way out. The saying probably started by someone angry at being left behind by another who ctbd. Who knows? Every choice has its pros and cons given the situation. I'd say whoever has ctbd has weighed the information available at the time and come to a conclusion like any other.

 

[Huntfish34]

I feel that way fairly often, from who I'd consider a bully down to people that just gave me a comment I didn't like.. or agree with me on something, or.... whatever. Resentments in general. . I suppose I'm too sensitive, take things too personal, out of context ..

I'm working on them currently, 1 day at a time and boy howdy I fckn hate it. Fairly destructive coping mechanisms are being used but Oh well.... Maybe I'll learn 1 day.

Thanks for sharing this, Thoughts and Prayers sent your way. ❤

 

[Crushed_Innocence]

YEs, i live in the USA and we have a pshychopathic BULLY in the White House causing ans encouaging bullying!!!! I hear you, fuck this world with all its cruelty and "dog-eat-dog" mentality.

 

[Vault of Memories]

Not in the sense that I assume you're looking for, but Mother Nature has been breathing down my neck, bullying me, for the past 13-14 years.

 

[InTheAirTonight]

I'm cool with letting bad people win at a game I'd rather not play. I guess they deserve to win? At least I have an escape...

 

[Shinbu]

No, I forgave one of my bullies because they apologized, and it felt sincere, he had someone else who would aid him in bullying me during school, and that person never apologized. Then I had these bullies who would get in my face trying to intimidate me, or push my head against the glass on the bus, or touch me without my consent, or slam my head on the desk while others watch doing nothing, they were more worser than the other two because they got physical with me, and the one who would touch me was a creep, I felt defeated because I didn't do anything until one day I did, I punched that MF in the face. One of my bullies are in prison for letting their cousin drown on purpose to make room in the house for his girlfriend unborn child. He denied letting his cousin drown, then he admitted it. Well tbh they didn't have a good life to begin with, so they took it out on me because I was the silent kid. Are those three asshats doing better than me, I doubt it, back to the two other boys, the other boy who didn't apologized maybe did enough good to compensate the bad he did to me, if he did then I can forgive him. Those two boys had a covert mission they wanted to expose anything about me because I was quiet, so they acted like they were my friend, so I can be a clown or freak for the whole campus. They would make fun of me for being a social outcast after they stopped gaining intel on me, they reveal their true nature through the mic because we played games together online, and I cut ties with them after that, then the boy felt bad. I had one boy who would push my head against the glass on the bus, yes I rode the same bus with that guy sucks for me, my first encounter with the guy was when it was time to leave school, and he came to me with that look like he got a problem with me he was staring into my soul. He was much older than me I was in middle school he was like a highschool kid or something. The boy's sister saved me after witnessing his daily abuse he did to me, and also the older boys as well who sat in the back, they started to keep watch on the guy to see if he will try to do something to me. They didn't usually see him do that to me because they got there at the bus later

 

[Kassender]

Yeah. All the people who made my life miserable are now successful, loved, some are devout christians and im the outcast about to ctb out of despair.

I dont think it's anything new though.

It's totally animal.

 

[GoBack]

Yeah some of them, especially the ones I didn't realise were bullies cause I grew up with them so I didn't know any different. Now I see it it's too late.

 

[Ardesevent]

Bullies are just wanted around more than victims. By ruining their victim's life completely, bullies end up getting a lot of traits like self-confidence and charisma. Victims lose these traits, and basically become stepping stones. There was never a chance for them to win at all.

 

[ssaaahmo]

I feel like this a lot. My bullies are so much more successful than me and I hate them for it. They used their shitty behavior to get farther and I hope the saying "what goes around comes around" is really true...

 

[Iwantoutrightnow]

My bully was my abuser. The people who know what he did used to say to me that 'giving up' on my life was letting him win, but he won the very first time he did what he did to me. He took something from me that I could never get back, it changed my life forever. Just them telling me that I was letting him win added to his success. I think they were trying to empower me but it just made him feel more powerful

 

[noaccount]

An interesting read from someone doing human rights defense...
Hate Kills: Attending To The Social Context / Resisting The Medicalized Language Of Suicide

https://vikkireynoldsdotca.files.wordpress.com/2017/12/2016reynoldshatekillsasocialjusticeresponsetosuicide.pdf

 

[cant cry]

The bullies are miserable people so in that respect, they've lost. They make everyone unhappy, including themselves, so they're basically worse than useless. And they know it.

Who knows if people ever get what they deserve after this life, but we're all gonna die someday, and I'm glad I can face the grave knowing I never did anything to seriously hurt anyone else.

 

[idek]

I'm not feeling the bullies tbh, though I I've they're there and the climate of America has made them feel safe to be assholes... but I just don't see them in my life.

I'm so isolated and the worst I've had in like three years is a few people treating my like a stupid, niave child, and one person (I assume much younger than I) telling me that they are glad I'm suffering.

Tbh... the last ten years or so I've seen this increase in people suffering - and those suffering being increasingly aggressive/reactive and acting very much like the privileged bullies that they condemn.

It's honestly... everyone's fighting - they're all fighting wars that they think are directly against them (true or not). I see a lot of people in pain that are lashing out... and from both sides this is seen as justified in a them-vs-us kind of fashion.

Have the bullies won? No. Just everyone's taking up their tactics without considering the implications... or even caring.
From both sides they feel in the right - and they're hurting both the other side and even their own kin... and they don't care because they're so focused on hurting the "enemy", like it's the most important thing in the world... that they've totally forgetting about basic human decency and compassion.

This is not a world I want to live in, nor one I can emotionally survive in. There's no nuance, there's no sympathy... it's just hatred everywhere for hatred's sake. I hardly believe they even care.

That's not to say that's all there is - cus there's always a counter-culture...
but it just feels so damn overwhelming!

 

[TastySorrow]

Always felt like my bullies will win if I ever CTB.

Here's the thing though, I mostly don't care anymore because I actually feel sorry for them quite often. They had much less opportunities, socially speaking, and were just projecting that resentment on me. It's not 100% their fault.

Not justifying bullying of course, it's just that the depressive state which brought me here is making me see things from another perspective. And my case was a weird one of "being at the wrong place, in the wrong time".

 

[Isittimetogonola]

Until now, I was always hanging on to not let them win. I dont care about them anymore and hopefully, this karma people speak of will come around to them. I am tired of waiting so I leave it up to the universe. I am so done.

 

[GoBack]

I feel that one of them has won in that I knew when I was younger I just had to outlive him. Now that won't happen I feel like a failure

Anyway I have a new kind of bully to deal with now, doctors and psychs'

 

[Suez]

I feel like America has a resurgence of the bully. The mega jock, jerk mean girl bully who led by fear was coming slide to being marginalized. We had allowed people to be proud of their sexuality no matter who they were, you could be an artist and expect that someone was an atheist but was accepted. Bullying and hate crimes were becoming the worst form of behavior and the me too movement was trying to mean something. It's like the bullies realized they were in danger of becoming as irrelevant as Willy Loman and his athlete son's in death of a salesman.

And the bullies rallied and became a strong movement to ensure that the status remains. In fact they need victims so bad that there is a desire to ensure that catching the bus is not allowed. You can't have a society of strong and weak if the weak are allowed to die of their own choice and potentially become martyrs.

Remember that you are actually strong and no one can claim you took a cowards way out when the choice is completely yours to make!

Bullies seem to intuitively know how to recognise peoples vulnerabilities and thats what they aim for. But what they are actually attacking is projections of their own insecurities and their own feelings of shame and inadequacy.

 

[Bardia]

Yes, I agree. I've been bullied my whole life. I'm 50, and I just had to leave the career I've held for the past 17 years in large part because I was bullied by colleagues. By which I mean, people who see an opportunity to attack if you present a vulnerability.

The Trump era is all about the triumph of bullying.

 

[Blue Portal]

In my life they won the battle but lost the war?

 

[Sweet Release]

The bullies are miserable people so in that respect, they've lost. They make everyone unhappy, including themselves, so they're basically worse than useless. And they know it.

Who knows if people ever get what they deserve after this life, but we're all gonna die someday, and I'm glad I can face the grave knowing I never did anything to seriously hurt anyone else.

I like that.
You made a good point!
Yeah if anything I know too that I managed to go through life without taking out my issues on anyone else and seriously hurting them.
I refused to pass on what was done to me to other people and whilst I might have failed at many things in life not becoming a bully ourselves is something we can both be proud of.

 

[Outsider]

My main high school bully is now one of the better poker players in europe. I remember him playing cards during classes. He is now earning thousands of dollars when Im unemployed, ill, out of money and suicidal. So I guess he won, psychopaths have it better in life. Funny i was considering killing him in adult if only I had access to gun now I would rather kill myself instead.

 

[lily2801]

The bully is a mith.
Kids point out genetics weaknesses . They don't realize the pain they create ,they're just insecure .. maybe have problem at home ecc.. Forgive them you'll feel much better

 

[Tintypographer]

I had a person today remark how "it's time to let the meek know that we are taking the world back and they're not inheriting anything"

It was a discussion about the current pandemic and life. This person was angry about a lot of things and is in fact a bully.

 

[motel rooms]

The bully is a mith.
Kids point out genetics weaknesses . They don't realize the pain they create ,they're just insecure .. maybe have problem at home ecc.. Forgive them you'll feel much better

Yeah, kids are fucking angels

 

[brutalus]

hello, i am a bully although not in america. maybe we can talk about the situation.