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I voted Never because I feel I'm just too far gone, in terms of poor career prospects, declining physical/mental health, and not wanting to have to become a full-time carer (eventually) for my parents in the coming decade or two.
I also just don't like where society is heading, too many people in the world, too much competition for everything not just jobs. So I just don't want to be around anymore. And I'm 24 now.
I understand -I think my mental health is just preventing me from having the life I want. I'm told I have good career prospects and a bright future but I don't really see the point if I'm still going to feel miserable and depressed all the time, I just want to be happy. I find the process of life quite mundane as well. I've been in school since I was 4, leave at 18 and then have to go to university for 3 years and have to work for decades in a job I don't really want, and eventually see my family and friends all dying. I just don't want such a dull life, and I don't want to live feeling constantly depressed and tired anymore. Sending you hugs
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Weeping Garbage Can and RaphtaliaTwoAnimals
I understand, I feel like every time my life begins to have lots of hope and reasons for me to persevere they're all taken away faster than I built them up. Best wishes friend, hugs
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Weeping Garbage Can, YellowJasmine, RaphtaliaTwoAnimals and 1 other person
I understand, I feel like every time my life begins to have lots of hope and reasons for me to persevere they're all taken away faster than I built them up. Best wishes friend, hugs
Problem is things have been bad since March. Before that things imoroved but went to shit again. Any hope i do have is clouded by things always going to shit again and im tired if that. Something has to give eventually, yes there is a chance but to take that i have to move back to my mums and she has a habit of emotionally destrying me literally one minute after shes being nice, i cant go through that again cos id be stuck even more than i am now. CTB stops it all permanetly, no more hope turning to shit eventually. I give up this year just shows me life isnt for me
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Weeping Garbage Can and RaphtaliaTwoAnimals
I had hope when I was a teenager. Maybe life would get better when I got to college and when I entered the real world. Now I'm in college and realized it does not get better. People are always excited about the next step of life, and once you get there, you realize it's not any better. I've also started to realize the real world isn't going to be any better. And I'm not going to get better. The only difference between me now and me as a teenager is I've learned how to function, I'm not as visibly as distressed, and I'm also more hopeless. But I still feel the same amount of distress as I did when I was a teenager.
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Weeping Garbage Can and RaphtaliaTwoAnimals
I understand, I feel like every time my life begins to have lots of hope and reasons for me to persevere they're all taken away faster than I built them up. Best wishes friend, hugs
I'm really glad you made this thread because I was thinking about it last night. I feel a bit guilty for wanting to ctb because right now things are okay. I'm sleeping on a friends couch, I'm still surrounded by my other friends. Physically I don't feel great but I don't feel awful. And I can still find happiness in moments if I really, really try. But things just keep getting worse and worse and I know I'm headed for the end.
I guess the hope is that I'll win the lottery so I can buy myself a house and medical treatment and stay with my friends. I can be happy with that life.
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Weeping Garbage Can and RaphtaliaTwoAnimals
Ten of thousands of years of genetic refining and programming, then throw in societal influences and programming and you have a survival instinct like no other. This is a good thing for the species as a whole, but for each individual and their own specific issues, what a kick in the groin.
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Smilla, Weeping Garbage Can and RaphtaliaTwoAnimals
I'm really glad you made this thread because I was thinking about it last night. I feel a bit guilty for wanting to ctb because right now things are okay. I'm sleeping on a friends couch, I'm still surrounded by my other friends. Physically I don't feel great but I don't feel awful. And I can still find happiness in moments if I really, really try. But things just keep getting worse and worse and I know I'm headed for the end.
I guess the hope is that I'll win the lottery so I can buy myself a house and medical treatment and stay with my friends. I can be happy with that life.
Ten of thousands of years of genetic refining and programming, then throw in societal influences and programming and you have a survival instinct like no other. This is a good thing for the species as a whole, but for each individual and their own specific issues, what a kick in the groin.
I have precisely one hope to cling to. The test is coming closer and closer. Not sure when it actually happens, but it gets closer.
If that surgery turns into nothing or hell, turns into something worse... If I'm not a vegetable, I'm dashing to the bus station.
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Weeping Garbage Can and RaphtaliaTwoAnimals
I have precisely one hope to cling to. The test is coming closer and closer. Not sure when it actually happens, but it gets closer.
If that surgery turns into nothing or hell, turns into something worse... If I'm not a vegetable, I'm dashing to the bus station.
Thankyou for the hugs. Sending you some back. I have been at the point of killing myself in the past. I had everything ready and was quite sure the time was right. I was literally just about to swallow an anti-emetic and commence the plan when a friend turned up to visit. That 'broke the circuit' and I haven't been back to that point again yet. I don't think hope keeps me alive - I think I'm more just waiting for everything to align again and I know then it will be time. I feel that things need to be done before I can check out - I don't want to leave a mess behind for others to have to clear up. Once I have everything in order then perhaps the time will be right again.
You'd be surprised what you could achieve with a car, a garage with a house to yourself, bags of charcoal coals and briquettes, portable temporary grills, some trays and bricks, a few thin sausages, and a whole day without being interrupted (no work, no friends dropping by or phoning).
Just saying...good on ya :)
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Weeping Garbage Can and RaphtaliaTwoAnimals
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