Venting do you see your life past 50?

[heldbyone]

I've suicidal thoughts since 2017
My worst years were 2019 to 2022
I was good for a moment
Now everything feels empty and meaningless once again .
But I just know that I won't ever be able to continue this longer .
Genuinely I'm just here for my cat i don't trust anyone with him .
Am i using him as an excuse???
i feel so fking messed up now

 

[TAW122]

No, I don't see myself living past 50, and I sincerely hope that it never happens. I've told myself I wouldn't want to live through my 20's but then I did, and then 30's, and now mid 30's. However, given the right time and circumstances, I will go and hopefully successfully CTB and no longer suffer an protracted existence.

 

[AnimeSlayersFan]

Wanna talk a bit more about it? What's going on in your case? I've had suicidal thoughts from like when I was 16, I got admitted to a mental ward, cause my life was at risk, then it slowly "got better" with years of therapy and finding more about myself, so it can have it's ups and downs, also you mention your worst years to coincidentally be covid, right?

heldbyone

 

[whywere]

Well for me being 69, I guess that question is not for me.

However, I would like to mention the fact that you are here for much more than your cat. Take for example this site, and the fact that you are part of the family here.

I consider you a good friend and also family, as I have said before, I have no family nor friends.

There are times that I also feel messed up and wonder why I am still here. Then along will come a lovely sunrise and/or sunset and some aspect at work will come to fruition and I get a smile.

Are you using your cat as an excuse? NO, NO and NO. Your cat is an extension of you, as when he/she cuddles up to you he/she is telling you just how important of a person you are to him/her and to others also, like me.

We are ALL together in this, and yes, I have suicide ideation every once in a while BUT knowing that I have family here and also you make everything so much better.

You are NEVER EVER alone, as you are family along with your precious cat.

Hugs, caring vibes and the knowledge that I care about YOU.

Walter

 

[tbh2023]

No I don't. Hopefully before I make it to 26.

 

[ankawannadie]

Don't really see it.
Guilt and the risk of giving my parents dementia or my mom falling into a deep depression keeps me from ending myself now. By the time I'm 50 that probably won't be a concern. But If I'm somehow 50, I'd hope that I'm not suicidal anymore.

 

[starboy2k]

hell no I barely see myself going past 30 and Im 24 lmaooo

 

[Pluto]

 

[Lyn]

While being in my 20s I've never imagined to even make it to 30.
But still here I am...
And now I can't even think about being 50 now.
But unfortunately who knows how things will turn out.

 

[Ghostinplainsight]

If i am still here at 50 it's because i've completely lost my marbles

 

[eupdplishlp]

if i simplify it for myself tomorrow only has 2 options it happens or it doesnt, yes or no. thats how im living at the moment to cope

 

[CatLvr]

View attachment 173802

I wanna know how you found my house!! And WHY are my babies outside WAITING to come in??? OPEN THAT DOOR, SIR!!

I did not expect to be here now, either. Best laid plans and all that shit.

 

[kopebaldy]

I didn't even see myself live pass my 20s but yet, here I am.

 

[SoulWhisperer]

No, not in a million changes, if I make it to 21 I'll be lucky. Making it to 30s is already impossible, making it to 50??? That's if god and Allah and Buddha and all the phanteon gods existed altogether and handshook me one by one within the same day.

 

[Wolf Girl]

Crazy to think 50 is only 15 years away for me. It depends on how long my mom lives. I will ctb when she dies if I haven't done it before.

 

[Namelesa]

I fluffing hope I don't live to 50 even if I got better cus life is too repetitive in my opinion as everything starts to feel the same so I wouldn't want to have to deal with 50+ years of this crap, let alone 80. Most I would just live for is to be able to finish whatever I want to do with my life to benefit others then when all thats done I would kill myself so I myself am no longer in risk of anymore harm.

 

[EternalShore]

I sure hope things get better by then~ but otherwise, I sure hope not~ >_<

 

[Hollowman]

I didn't want to a few years ago. But I turned 50 a few months ago. I should've ended me when I was 12.

 

[Dejected 55]

I am 55. i realize now that I should have ended things when I was in my 30s and knew there was nothing here for me.

 

[alwaysalone]

Well I'm past 50 now so I can definitely see it lol

 

[Tord]

Never imagined it nor found it realistic. Even if I don't kill myself or whatever sometime I likely wouldn't live that long anyway.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

I'm 56 and never imagined living to be this old. The older you get the faster the years go by.

 

[Ligottian]

I'm 65. I can go at any time. Lately it's been tempting.

 

[beandigger404]

Don't think I'm even making it to 20. But I still try to be optimistic sometimes. Painfully so. I'm delusional af.

 

[jenson]

I hope it doesn't get that far. Thought about ctb in my teens and received therapy for a bit. Hoped my life would be better in my 20s, it was not. Waited for my 30s hoping for the same thing, and its managed to suck more than my 20s. If its just gonna get worse and worse then why wait until I turn 40 or god forbid 50.

 

[nowherelilies]

i can't see myself past 25.

 

[lifecanbecruel!]

I really, really, really struggle to see myself here when i'm 50......didnt ever see myself making it to 30......i'm 33 now!

 

[Eriktf]

imagine i overdose or ctb long before 50 but who knows

 

[Hellis]

Do people actually see futures for themselves? Not even saying this in a suicidal way, I legitimately can't even imagine where I'll be tomorrow

 

[whywere]

imagine i overdose or ctb long before 50 but who knows

I hope and wish, my good family member that you are around for a very long time to come, as I need folks like you.

Have a wonderful day!

Walter