Venting Do you have any addictions?

[Red Scare]

I'm literally losing my life to daydreaming. I know "real" addiction that society would validate. I was an alcoholic, a smoker for over a decade, and a benzo abuser. Daydreaming has been the hardest to break and it's as real as any of the other addictions I've overcome. It's more about how badly your brain melts down when you refrain from it and how much the activity lowers your quality of life instead of enhancing it.

Sounds a bit like dissociation to me... and I don't say that lightly, or to try and invalidate you. I myself have had problems with depersonalization and dissociation. I think I know what you mean, because sometimes I can just sit catatonically and stare at the wall for up to a couple hours. It's like the anxiety and depression are so bad, it paralyzes you. The realization alone has not been enough to curb this behavior though. I think it is a response to trauma.

And you're totally right, something like shopping or gambling can be an addiction, whereas other people seem to be able to do these things without being addicted, so I suppose I was being a bit uncharitable in my view, but when I see someone seriously beating themselves and feeling guilt ridden because they masturbate, or smoke a bit of weed, I feel bad. I grew up in a very strict religious household and we were taught to feel bad about everything. It seems like some people never outgrow that.

 

[Sunset Limited]

I often take refuge in video games, because the reality around me sucks too much.

I don't play games right now, but I did for many years. Think about it, a life with a huge universe and magnificent architecture, but we preferred a few hundred megabyte games. It just goes to show how crappy life can be for me. I wish Blizzard made life

 

[AnestheticVoid]

All you people saying this make me feel like you were raised by very strict catholic parents who abused you any time they thought you were "touching" yourself.

I can't imagine feeling so guilt ridden over something so innocuous... and seriously, did someone in here really just say marijuana???

I feel like some of you should try being a heroin addict and living under a bridge. You'll know what real addiction means then, and feel maybe your problems aren't so bad.

I think it's less the actual act of masterbation I think it's the pornography aspect.

 

[ShornSoloists]

How often do you jerk off? For me it's daily or every few days.

2 or 3 times a day.

 

[GreenTree]

Nicotine addiction for me. Benzos are good but apparently they don't work if you take them everyday.

 

[whatevs]

2 or 3 times a day.

I remember when I was a teenager this was normal, however I was a loser/sufferer in the works so I'm not a good control. But I felt fine then. For me a teenager is say up to 20 yo.

 

[Red Scare]

I don't play games right now, but I did for many years. Think about it, a life with a huge universe and magnificent architecture, but we preferred a few hundred megabyte games. It just goes to show how crappy life can be for me. I wish Blizzard made life

lol I remember downloading the duke nukem 3d shareware version when I was just a kid... it was 5.4 mb and took fore-ev-er to download on our dial up, at the time that was a lot of space required for a game too. I still remember when we got our first gigabyte hard drive. Good times.

 

[ShornSoloists]

All you people saying this make me feel like you were raised by very strict catholic parents who abused you any time they thought you were "touching" yourself.

I can't imagine feeling so guilt ridden over something so innocuous... and seriously, did someone in here really just say marijuana???

I feel like some of you should try being a heroin addict and living under a bridge. You'll know what real addiction means then, and feel maybe your problems aren't so bad.

Any excessive amounts of pleasure can become addictions. Masturbation destroyed my life.

 

[Sherri]

cofee, Xanax, opioids and shopping, its a big addiction and vape electronic cugarettes like a chimney.

 

[Red Scare]

Masturbation destroyed my life.

how so?

 

[Foresight]

Sounds a bit like dissociation to me... and I don't say that lightly, or to try and invalidate you. I myself have had problems with depersonalization and dissociation. I think I know what you mean, because sometimes I can just sit catatonically and stare at the wall for up to a couple hours. It's like the anxiety and depression are so bad, it paralyzes you. The realization alone has not been enough to curb this behavior though. I think it is a response to trauma.

Yeah, you're right. It doesn't happen entirely on its own like the psychosis and depersonalization I've experienced. It's like I have choices to deal with being overwhelmed and instead of investing in healthy habits I go for my addictive behavior.

 

[Huntfish34]

Yes.... Mostly alcohol and Various other substances to numb myself and my sick Fckd off mind. Very vicious cycle to say the Least.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Alcohol

 

[Wojaczek]

alcohol and cigarettes, i get wasted pretty much every other day. it's the only time i feel good in a way.

 

[GreenTree]

I think your being way too harsh on yourself. I suspect everyone masturbates except Catholic preists.

 

[Belljar]

Shopping, social media and chat rooms, food. It doesn't have to be illegal to ruin your life.

 

[VoidDesirer22]

I wish I never had access to porn. I tried going off it for a while but I couldn't focus on anything after a while.

I'm addicted to procrastinating I guess? Has caused me a lot of stress. The only thing I don't procrastinate is my ctb plans.

 

[Sunset Limited]

lol I remember downloading the duke nukem 3d shareware version when I was just a kid... it was 5.4 mb and took fore-ev-er to download on our dial up, at the time that was a lot of space required for a game too. I still remember when we got our first gigabyte hard drive. Good times.

Duke Nukem 3D is the first game I played on PlayStation 1. It was a great game. So is their music.

 

[quothTheRaven9]

All of them, apparently. The only difference between things I'm addicted to and not is whether I've tried them.

 

[vapauttaa]

I've been smoking cigs since I was 15 (I'm 38 now) - I can go periods of time without smoking but, I go back to it.

I was in an Uber the other day and the driver was talking about how he used Chantix and it took only a week for him to quit. When he added that people with mental issues may not be able to take Chantix I almost laughed - in my mind I was like "little do you know, dear driver, I've got PTSD and major depressive disorder, with a splash of panic disorder as well" - I don't think I'd be a candidate for Chantix, and anyway, I don't want another medication in the roster.

I used to be addicted to Forensic Files.

 

[Ready2GoNow2022]

Alcohol, tobacco and benzodiazepines. I used to smoke cannabis daily but quit that and then moved on to alcohol. Have had to detox in the hospital before, that was scary. I am currently not drinking but I am taking benzo's to try and silence the bully in my brain.

 

[PerpetualPain]

I was addicted to looking good. So I took finasteride when I discovered I started balding. Now I have developed a rare disease called Post Finasteride Syndrome which causes me unbearable suffering and I have lost everything. I am being forced to CTB now against my will due to the unbearable suffering I face 24/7.

Oh and now I am addicted to Benzos thanks to the disease.

 

[MatthewV3]

Porn, masturbation, Internet. Soon I'll become an alcoholic as I started to use alcohol more and more.

 

[_Minsk]

Kratom and vaping, loved these dearly but i want to get rid of all addictions before i ctb

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Porn, video games, masturbation, in my youth

Internet, alcohol, antidepressants

 

[AlwaysAnhedonia]

Kratom

I'm addicted to Kratom as well. It's truly fucking me up worse than my alcohol addiction I believe. Just much slower and insidious

 

[TapeMachine]

I'm addicted to Kratom as well. It's truly fucking me up worse than my alcohol addiction I believe. Just much slower and insidious

Same. I used kratom to help end a 15 year alcohol addiction (100lb female polishing a gallon of vodka every 2 days) because I was desperate, as all of my prior attempts to cease drinking had not worked.

And the kratom helped big time. I haven't had alcohol in 3+ years, I think? Though I've lost track of time, so maybe it has even been a little longer?

But I didn't realize kratom would have such a disorienting withdrawal back when I started.

When I tried to quit kratom last year (because I wanted a clean slate before starting treatment for my newly diagnosed adhd), I couldn't make it past day 2 of kratom wds. I felt like my bedroom was closing in on me, like my heart was going to burst from anxiety and feelings of disgust. Everything felt dark and ugly and cold, and my mind was such an unkind place to be in those moments.

And I've had to withdraw from much stronger opioids- like morphine, oxy, and intravenous dilaudid- and I'm telling you, kratom withdrawals were no joke for me.

I've been working on weaning myself off slowly now, deducting half a gram from my doses every few weeks or so.

Anyway. Just wanted to add my two cents.

 

[StolenLife]

Coffee and unfortunately, food.

 

[Sarros]

Escorts, AMPs, and shiny cardboard (card games).

 

[Ｓanctioned Suicide]

I have a terrible fentanyl addiction, well.. That, and an even worse addiction to this woman I'm completely infatuated with even after she cheated on me, and completely broke me as a human being, and wont even speak to me at this point for a month or two now. I'm so tired of everything, I live my life not even knowing what day it is half the time, I haven't made a single dollar in months it's crazy that I even survive.