Venting Do you feel disillusioned?

[SilentSadness]

I do, I think this is the best way to describe myself. I am just waiting patiently in the rain for my long overdue death. There is nothing for me in this world, at least not anymore. My watch seems to be broken, but the bus will come sometime soon. I'm asking this question because I'm mildly interested to know if others are still connected with reality.

 

[Michelstaedter]

Always... I don't expect anything anymore.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes, I very much feel this. I don't even want to connect with reality if I'm honest because so much of it seems horrible.

 

[pauly369]

Only thoughts of dying bring me peace and happiness.
I live the majority of this shitshow life in a daydream because reality has become too painful to endure these days.
I go to sleep with a smile on my face because I convince myself that I will die in my sleep.
Yet here I am for another day yet again in this human freakshow called existence.
Yet I shall carry on dreaming of my beautiful death until it finally happens...one way or another.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Yes. But I also feel scammed. Life / existence is also a scam. First this prison hell was imposed on me . Then I was scammed tricked brainwashed when younger especially from ages 0 to 13 years old to think many lies were true including the lies that life is good and that Death is bad.

Now I'm starting to internalize that Death is not bad for the individual that dies because it's non-existence forever. You can't suffer if you don't exist no pain no bad memories or regrets nothing bad ever if you don't exist.

Someone could be in the worst constant pain . And they are suffering extremely.but they are suffering only because they are alive . The second the suffering individual Dies the pain stops forever .

 

[cherrycoke]

Im almost entirely checked out. Since deciding to CTB I've been less stressed because nothing matters. I have a few concerts I want to go to over the next few months that I'm looking forward to. In the meantime, I'll keep working (the bare minimum to stay employed). Travel while my passport still means anything. Hang out with my friends. There's a cloud hanging over me that dulls everything I do now, it feels like I'm in a video game. I feel like there's no turning back from this level of disillusionment.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Yes. Disillusioned with the entire country of America and the stupid people who live here who can elect a crook and rapist to the presidency.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

Yes

 

[divinemistress87]

Yes. Disillusioned with the entire country of America and the stupid people who live here who can elect a crook and rapist to the presidency.

Shows how many hateful ignorant people there really is

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

Yes. I think this actually is being connected to reality. Beyond torture.

 

[ThroughTheLight]

I definitely am. When I was a kid I had the perception that teenage life would be a lot better than it actually was. Now I missed out on normal teenage experiences, there's nothing to live for.