Do you ever want to be miserable?

[Grubby]

There are days in my life when I do not want to be happy. I lay in bed aware I could be listening to a song, playing a video game or watching a video. If someone wants to meet up with me (for once in a month or so) I decline the offer. At times I intentionally starve myself knowing fully it won't do me any good nor kill me. Sometimes I fantasize about someone witnessing me in my miserable state and caring for me. It's pathetic.
But fantasy moves ahead and the next day I go on as though the previous day didn't happen.
It's as if I belive I don't deserve to be happy, but it feels right.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Oh, absolutely. I think overall, I'm a melancholy person. Plus, I'll wallow in sadness and pity. Sometimes just for me, sometimes for the rest of the world. There's enough tragedy out there to feel awful about something.

If I'm in an especially open mood to feel sad, I'll watch something like Chernobyl (HBO series) which has enough horror and tragedy in it to get a lot of that emotion out.

I don't think it actually is very good to always repress emotions. Sometimes I think it's best to feel or even provoke them to full force to go through them. I guess the worry is when you start to feel that low every day.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

No, misery is simply not a choice for me. Being born the wrong sex is a miserable way to live.

 

[littlelady774]

Sometimes there is a cozy feeling in depression. It's where you just wanna watch sad movies and be isolated from everybody.

But when it's agonizing, can't eat or sleep or can't get out of bed, HELLLL NO. That shit is not fun.

 

[Unending]

I wouldn't say that I want to be miserable but sometimes I double down on it to cope. Being crushed by losing hope over and over again has been pretty damn painful for me so there are definitely spans of time where my brain blocks out all positivity in order to avoid another fall from potential happiness.

 

[aforestfire]

totally. i dig my own grave, lay in there, and then wonder what i did to deserve this. i've spend years ruining my own life, everything would be better if wasn't for me trying to reach the bottom of the pit.
but now, i reached to a point where being sad and miserable isn't a choice anymore, it's just the way that it is.

 

[FuneralCry]

The thing is, that in my case having negative feelings towards life are simply the natural response to existing in this world and it makes sense for me to feel such a way. It would be impossible for me to ever feel differently as the thing that I despise is life itself and I view it as being such a terrible thing just having to exist. But I don't want any of this at all, under no circumstances could I wish to stay here, I've only ever wished to permanently not exist.

 

[Lifeless mindset]

Sometimes it seems it's easier to be miserable and allow your life to fall to pieces than to go out there and reach goals.

 

[Grubby]

Sometimes there is a cozy feeling in depression. It's where you just wanna watch sad movies and be isolated from everybody.

But when it's agonizing, can't eat or sleep or can't get out of bed, HELLLL NO. That shit is not fun.

I wouldn't say that I want to be miserable but sometimes I double down on it to cope. Being crushed by losing hope over and over again has been pretty damn painful for me so there are definitely spans of time where my brain blocks out all positivity in order to avoid another fall from potential happiness.

I find it strange how we find peace in such a depressive lifestyle. Wish you luck ;)

 

[outrider567]

Always miserable, nothing much I can do about it---Tried listening to music a few times in the past year, wound up just crying as usual

 

[vultureilse]

yeah i can relate. i hate myself and intentionally do things to make myself as miserable as possible, though i always end up complaining about how shitty my life is in the end. im a very pathetic person, i keep further destroying my own life but want people to feel bad for me

overall theres still a part of me thats desperate for happiness but i have already accepted that my life is pretty much doomed to be miserable. so i dont want it to get better, i just want it to be over

 

[LastFlowers]

No. If I'm miserable then I am miserable for a reason that I did not conjure up.
It's exhausting being so, and it often comes with rage as not being able to resolve the circumstances that cause such misery..
I don't think I deserve to suffer nor does anyone else in a similar position.
This may lead to being too despondent, defeated or tired to eat, drink, perform hygiene or taking care in other ways, but it's not something I'm doing to purposefully compound my misery (still, it does inevitably have that effect).

I think misery has been romanticized in so much media and ironically portrayed by the most privileged of people..those who are not actually miserable think it's some sort of attractive "aesthetic" to become so or play pretend with.
Difference is they can quit when they realize it's not sustainable or enviable.

I mean..I also don't think it's uncommon to want to be rescued from your miserable state though, especially if one's predicament is rather helpless.
So dissociating and imagining such a thing..projecting it like a daydream, is pretty understandable.