Do you ever hesitate about going to ctb because you don't want to traumatize anyone?

[tiredone]

... 'cause you don't want to let some certain people (or especially kids) struggle/get traumatized (when they see/hear about what will happen to you) the same way you did?

... but then there's this desperation/rare strong urge to ctb so you also feel like you don't care at the same time?

*Sorry if this is too specific or weird*
(New to posting and stuff, I really hope I do not sound offensive. Otherwise, please tell me.)

yes. Exactly thats why i am still here. Have sn and could go anytime, but my kids and partner are the reason why i still stay and suffer. If it wasnt for that, i would be long gone.

 

[SamTam33]

I am afraid for my mother. The other day she told me again that she would prefer that I die sooner, that it would be a weight off her shoulders so she wouldn't have to think about what would become of me once she's gone (she'll be 79 in March). She says it a few times, but it makes me think about rethinking CTB because I'm afraid she'll think it's her fault (guilt is something so imbued by religion, I don't like it at all), it would be quite tragic if it happened and she thought that...

This is so interesting to me: that even when people express what they want, we reject it because it doesn't align with what we believe.

I hope you don't feel like I'm picking on you OP, but this is legitimately one of the most interesting things I've read on here in some time.

What if she's weary and wants to go, but is holding on for you?

She gave you "permission" (which is something I think a lot of us want in some way or another), but you're not convinced she understands what she's saying.

I'll be thinking about this one for a while.

 

[☆AwaitingEntropy☆]

Yeah, it would ruin my family. Also I'd feel pretty bad for whoever ended up finding me. I've considered wearing some sort of mask or covering my face somehow so they at least wouldn't have that seared in their memory, but I'm not sure how I'll go about it.

 

[hrsprayqn]

... 'cause you don't want to let some certain people (or especially kids) struggle/get traumatized (when they see/hear about what will happen to you) the same way you did?

... but then there's this desperation/rare strong urge to ctb so you also feel like you don't care at the same time?

*Sorry if this is too specific or weird*
(New to posting and stuff, I really hope I do not sound offensive. Otherwise, please tell me.)

This is quite literally the only thing that's stopping me from CTB.

I wish there was a more honest way out

 

[Unending]

This is my primary apprehension towards ctb.
Oh goodness, It's a huge barrier.

 

[mafuyu]

All the time. Someone has to find my corpse.

 

[itsallpointless]

Well natural death dead bodies are traumatizing but that won't stop you from dying no?

 

[downndone2]

Yes, more than anything not knowing how long before someone finds my dogs.

 

[sad_dude]

NO ONE in this world is holding me back from ctb. I still have both parents, their still together. I also have two older siblings that I don't care for at all. My niece and nephew are still very young. Yet if I ctb, I really don't care who finds my dead body and I don't care what kind of damage that will cause them. I even thought about ctb in public even. I really do hate people. I'm all kinds of messed up.

I hope this is not too weird but dangg, ì really need to have ur kind of energy.