Theodora

Theodora

the phantom
Jun 25, 2020
64
Lying in bed 8am about to go to bed typical for me can't wait for my parents to complain how lazy and useless I am later on today when I wake up
 
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Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
Lying in bed 8am about to go to bed typical for me can't wait for my parents to complain how lazy and useless I am later on today when I wake up
My parents will say the same thing minus the useless part. They'll complain about how I can't just lay in bed all day. Currently living with my grandma though and she says the same.
 
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Deleted member 18655

Deleted member 18655

Enlightened
Jun 4, 2020
1,422
It's rainy and blah outside. It's 8:30 in the morning and I've been up for five hours. It's been a long day already and I have my trauma support group tonight - I'll be dreading it all day.
 
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Theodora

Theodora

the phantom
Jun 25, 2020
64
My parents will say the same thing minus the useless part. They'll complain about how I can't just lay in bed all day. Currently living with my grandma though and she says the same.
My parents will say the same thing minus the useless part. They'll complain about how I can't just lay in bed all day. Currently living with my grandma though and she says the same.
same with me .. living with my grandparents ... I feel bad that I do nothing sometimes but I honestly can't help it
 
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Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
same with me .. living with my grandparents ... I feel bad that I do nothing sometimes but I honestly can't help it
Same. Well I'm going to therapy 5 days a week, but that's pretty much it.
 
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Tabbyql

Tabbyql

Chronic people pleaser
Mar 13, 2019
282
I know its 2 days ago. But I have spent alot of my day crying so much my eyes are so sore. My sister's funeral is in a couple of days and it's hundreds of miles away and I cannot afford to go and NO ONE can help me. So alongside my grief,shock and trying to process it all. I now feel such soul crushing guilt, that I cannot be there to do the last thing that I can do for her and say goodbye. I've let everybody down.
 
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Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
I know its 2 days ago. But I have spent alot of my day crying so much my eyes are so sore. My sister's funeral is in a couple of days and it's hundreds of miles away and I cannot afford to go and NO ONE can help me. So alongside my grief,shock and trying to process it all. I now feel such soul crushing guilt, that I cannot be there to do the last thing that I can do for her and say goodbye. I've let everybody down.
If I had the money, I'd pay for you to go :(
 
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crybaby

crybaby

Member
Dec 4, 2019
95
I am really sad today. Yesterday I sent a text message to tell my best friend that I am very sad and I really need his care. It has been 17 hours so far, and he has not read the message. I don't know why... We chat every day. Until yesterday, he seemed to disappear suddenly. I worry about what happened to him, but maybe he doesn't care about me at all. Because he is really busy lately. I don't know...I trust him very much, but now I feel betrayed/abandoned by him. Now I feel very lonely and desperate. :(
 
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Notwinnernotawin

Notwinnernotawin

Specialist
Apr 4, 2020
341
Awfully bad. It's getting worse and worse.
 
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Sinai Silence

Sinai Silence

I think I'ma die alone inside my room
Jul 6, 2020
810
I'm off to see my grandparents today so I'm looking forward to that, feeling very tired as usual.
 
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Wayfaerer

Wayfaerer

JFMSUF
Aug 21, 2019
1,938
downed my kratom this morning and am feeling like I can tolerate my pitiful existence for a few more hours until it wears off and I have to suffer for several more hours until I can take more. This have been my life for the past year and a half.
 
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I

inactive

Student
Jul 26, 2020
173
My Cats + Dogs expansion pack for The Sims 4 was delivered today so I'm looking forward to playing around with that later, haha. I'm going to create my little doggy first.

Otherwise, feel like I'm slowly dying. I had a dream about committing suicide in a pact earlier, it was vivid but I fail to remember the details of it.
 
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W

Worthless_nobody

Enlightened
Feb 14, 2019
1,384
Disappointed again, severe depression as always...pure hopelessness.

In an almost catatonic state. Ive been watching Bob Ross 24/7 for the last three weeks. I have no interest in painting or art. I'm not sure if I'm watching or just staring blankly at it. Happy little clouds though.
I thought I was the only one who does that. I watch Bob Ross all the time because it's just so calming and I just space out and watch him paint. Plus there is no triggers or things to upset me watching his videos. I used to love art and was good at it.. but I have Zero motivation now
 
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W

Wisdom3_1-9

he/him/his
Jul 19, 2020
1,954
I got one hour of sleep last night, but I'm doing okay energy-wise. Work has been kinda boring today, but I'm okay with that. I've spent about 60 minutes total with death on my mind. The majority of the day, I've been thinking about a positive future in a job more suited to me, in a location that I'd love, and with my marital relationship doing well. I don't normally entertain positive thoughts more regularly than negative ones — and this past weekend, I didn't have any positive thoughts at all — so it's a pretty good day so far.
 
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Throwawaysoul

Throwawaysoul

Wizard
May 14, 2018
606
Plus there is no triggers or things to upset me watching his video

You nailed it!! Absolutely trigger free. I also like the VHS quality, it's not eye scorching HD. No stupid shocked face YouTube thumbnails with people's mouths agape. It's glorious. He also rarely painted people or even chimneys because chimneys represent people.
 
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Nymph

Nymph

he/him
Jul 15, 2020
2,565
Today was alright, went out with my mom-had Starbucks. I got a a new cable that my rabbit chewed up and we went to look for a new lamp for my room. We also went to a pet store to buy hay and treats for my bunny. Came back home and let my bunny free roam, also played Splatoon and bioshock for a bit. Later watched YouTube now I'm here and about to go to sleep
 
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W

Worthless_nobody

Enlightened
Feb 14, 2019
1,384
It gets more hopeless by the day. I try and try but life keeps showing me ctb is the only way.

"Things I'd done and where I've been
Sleep in sweat the mirrors cold
See my face it's growin' old
Scared to death no reason why
Do whatever to get me by
Think about the things I've said
Read the page it's cold and dead"... lyrics from Don't Follow I relate to
 
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Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
It gets more hopeless by the day. I try and try but life keeps showing me ctb is the only way.

"Things I'd done and where I've been
Sleep in sweat the mirrors cold
See my face it's growin' old
Scared to death no reason why
Do whatever to get me by
Think about the things I've said
Read the page it's cold and dead"... lyrics from Don't Follow I relate to
I know that feeling. It sucks
 
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W

Wisdom3_1-9

he/him/his
Jul 19, 2020
1,954
Well. I wanna kill myself again. The week of feeling hopeful is over. Is this mania giving way to depression once more?
 
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A

AllReturnsToNothing

I'm useless
Aug 5, 2020
222
It was going descent until I remembered that no one will ever understand me. Not like anybody would ever want to.
 
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Jon86

Jon86

Specialist
Apr 9, 2018
369
Most days are the same, wake up feel like shit, health problems I cannot fix, tried all the possible solutions none offer true relief, at some point in the day i'll forget about my problems and feel stupid for ever having been depressed at all, then i'll either remember by reading something or looking in the mirror and i'll wonder how the fuck i'm still alive.
 
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Deleted member 18655

Deleted member 18655

Enlightened
Jun 4, 2020
1,422
I have an appt in 20mins I'm dreading and a migraine I can't get rid of. And all I keep daydreaming about is ctb so I can get to hell and be tormented for real, for eternity. As deserved.
 
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XYZ

XYZ

I just can’t get these damn wrists to bleed
Jul 22, 2020
800
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. That's how my day is going. I'm just waiting for the weekend to kick back, drink some beer and watch TV.
 
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Anthagonos

Anthagonos

Hablo español
Aug 9, 2020
201
I'm feeling relaxed because I know I will love 40 days as maximum. I'm just planning everything to say goodbye.
 
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VIBRITANNIA

VIBRITANNIA

lelouch. any pronouns. pfp is by pixiv id 3217872.
Aug 10, 2020
1,156
it's been boring so far, but then again i've only been awake for around 3 to 4 hours. there are some things i could do to alleviate the boredom, but i'm just too lazy to do them.
 
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I_love_to_bake

I_love_to_bake

Student
Feb 27, 2020
167
Like everyday, it is like a pendulum, swinging backwards and forwards between discomfort and boredom.
 
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D

Deleted member 1465

_
Jul 31, 2018
6,914
I chopped the crap out of the undergrowth next to my brother's garage, so that I can get to the rear of the building to dump my full compost bin to sit and ferment for the winter.
I really enjoyed the physical activity, despite the heat. A year ago I couldn't even have gone outside in this humidity, but today I relished the hard exercise.
Now I'm looking at the rest of the weed covered bank and contemplating hacking the rest of it down, dragging in some rocks from the back field and planting out some shade loving plants.
It appears that having filled my back yard with plants, I'm now moving out into the surrounding neighbourhood.
 
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Deleted member 18655

Deleted member 18655

Enlightened
Jun 4, 2020
1,422
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Leech

Leech

ɴᴏᴡ'ꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟy ᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʀᴇᴀʟ
Aug 8, 2020
205
Today has been kinda shite. I have a dentist appointment, and because of quarantine + being depressed I kinda just like only brushed my teeth a handful of times these past few months. So I'm kinda not looking forward to my dentist's disappointment. I also got woken up by my mom very early this morning to her swinging my door open (which has bells on it), yelling at me because it took her 20 minutes allegedly to find the lid to a container and how it's all my fault because the containers are out of order and that I should do more because I'm "22 (which I'm not) and useless," but I kinda just got tired of meticulously organizing and reorganizing them when these people tear through them like wild beasts and then don't put them back. She then slammed my door so hard it woke my sister up in the next room over. So yeah SMELLY day, but I do get to see my little brother today for the first time since quarantine started so I'm excited for that <33

I hope everyone's days are going well, and if they aren't that tomorrow will be better ^^
 
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Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
Woke up feeling a little like shit. Hoping it goes away.
 
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