• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
L

LittleJem

Visionary
Jul 3, 2019
2,882
I'm putting this here, as even if I am referred for this therapy (which is unlikely), not everyone responds to it. It is 8 out of 18.

I know that I get blamed for my depression, I also see it myself as laziness. I hate not being able to tidy up. To do my shopping. To dress myself. To have a conversation. To function without drugs. It is not laziness. It is an illness and a curse. It's just one that other people blame you for because they don't understand depression. This paper understands depression.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4185009/ -- it's a research paper on intranasal ketamine. I keep feeling like people want to blame me for my depression, that I'm not 'thinking positive', 'trying hard enough' etc

Major depressive disorder (MDD) is common and a leading worldwide cause of disability (1). Treatment-resistant depression (TRD), characterized by non-response to at least one antidepressant, is associated with a high degree of morbidity and functional disability, and is estimated to occur in up to one third of patients with MDD (2). Even for patients who do respond to standard antidepressant treatments, there is a significant delay in the onset of therapeutic benefit, which further increases illness burden and risks of associated morbidity and suicidality (3). Although neuroscience research has elucidated some of the basic mechanisms of depression and antidepressant action (4), current antidepressant drugs primarily target the monoaminergic system identified decades ago. More recently, the glutamate system has emerged as a critical focus of novel therapeutic development for MDD and particularly TRD (5, 6).

I know the right decision for me is to CTB and yet I still procrastinate the decision.

I get blamed too for using drugs, when I can't get out of bed without them. I can't walk down the street without them. I don't want to be on drugs. I don't want to be mad.
Then it clearly isn't laziness, when a medication or drug kicks in, and suddenly I can clean my room, walk down the street, dress myself and shower. Then, the medication or drug stops working on me, and I am left a vegetable with suicidal thoughts. I don't know what to do.

If I had IV ketamine, I bet it's really unpleasant. But I would be lucky if they tried it on me.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: Cepheuss, iwkmsssb and boilingfishcakes
A

aceHardlight

Not even sad, just dead inside
May 1, 2026
37
Have you had an ADHD diagnostic? Laziness is an ugly word for executive dysfunction.

Mine improved drastically on medication.
 
  • Informative
Reactions: boilingfishcakes

Similar threads

WhyMe123
Replies
5
Views
357
Suicide Discussion
WhyMe123
WhyMe123
T
Replies
5
Views
627
Suicide Discussion
ManyADreadfulNight
ManyADreadfulNight
H
Replies
3
Views
2K
Suicide Discussion
Cyc
Cyc
N
Replies
10
Views
1K
Offtopic
noname223
N
purebliss
Replies
29
Views
6K
Suicide Discussion
purebliss
purebliss